Kid Fury’s Blog: My Letter To Kreayshaw
From VIBE – Dear Kreayshawn, We should probably start this off with a discussion of your name. I’m not sure if your rap moniker is supposed to be some sort of ghetto play on the word “creation”, or if you just have a fascination with names that make substitute teachers sweat. However, I’m going to call you Julie. I know your birth name is Natassia, but you look like a Julie to me.
Anyway, I thought you should know that I’ve been quietly watching you cat-daddy your fifteen minutes away. You’re a very intriguing little character and I decided to observe you rummaging through hip-hop before I gave my honest opinion.
Truthfully, I think you’re cute…in a Salt-N-Pepa meets Casey Anthony sort of way. You have this Teen Vogue, trailer trash, hipster style about you and I think it’s adorable. You also direct music videos and have your own Caucasian clique, White Girl Mob, to help you write rhymes and egg houses or whatever the fuck y’all do.
That’s all well and good, but here’s the thing: you can’t rap, girl. You can’t. You’re horrible. You’re an utter musical disgrace. Stop.