Five’s a Crowd: How to Keep it Cool with the Outer Circle
Have you ever noticed how well La La gets along with Po and Dice on La La’s Full Court, or when Kelly and Serena come to hang out they never have any problems? Now compare that with the drink-tossing, fist-throwing drama on Real Housewives, Love and Hip-Hop, and Basketball Wives — see the difference?
Part of the reason for the change is the fact that La La actually knows the girls she’s hanging with and isn’t forced to meet up with random women for the sake of good TV. What we see on these shows is exactly what tends to happen when there’s a “new girl” in the group or you’re hanging out with women who aren’t your closest BFFs.
We all know about Evelyn Lozada’s infamous “circle,” but do you know how to get along with the outer circle—you know the new associates and friends of friends—without being a mean girl? Here are a few tips.
I’m the worst at this because I like to segment my friends and hang out in small groups. Whenever I know someone else is tagging along, I get a little iffy about how that may change the dynamic, but in my experience that’s been an unnecessary worry the majority of the time. If you go into a situation expecting not to like someone, you’ll be sure to find a reason not to and you could miss out on a cool friend or even a professional contact by being too standoffish. At least give the relationship a friendly try in the beginning.
Keep a tight lip
On the other hand, you don’t know these women so there’s no need to tell them everything about you. Remember, when you meet someone new, you’re being sized up just as much they’re making a first impression on you. It’s best to keep a lid on the deep dark secrets only your closest girls need to know (Kimbella), and definitely limit the gossip—it’s not a good look.