Personal Notes: A Man’s Mistakes vs. A Woman’s Mistakes
I am definitely one of the many who is looking forward to watching another episode of The Game tonight. Last week’s season premiere of The Game–awful laugh track and all–offered up a clear distinction of the double standards that haunt today’s relationships. Much to many ladies’ dismay, the men in my Twitterverse cheered on Derwin’s (Pooch Hall) behavior toward Melanie (Tia Mowry-Hardict) after catching wind of her less-than-perfect past.
Long story short, Derwin cheated on Melanie in a previous season sending the ride-or-die girlfriend on a tailspin of one-nighters and questionable romps. In the the new season’s opener, Mel revealed that between their heart-wrenching break-up and before taking on the role of step-mommy to Derwin and Janay’s child, she was pregnant with another football player’s baby. (We figure this is information you divulge with your man before walking down the aisle, but hey, whatever.)
So, the men (again, the ones on my timeline) think this is a clear act of hoe behavior. Really? REALLY?! Now, I know men don’t want to accept that their lady had a sex life before them, but talk about a biased scale of justice!
How is it that Melanie can bite the bullet and play step-mommy to a child Derwin fathers with another woman, but Derwin can crucify his wife for getting rid of a baby while being single? Man, oh man. Do you think that if Melanie had kept it, Derwin would have taken her back like she did him? I’m no feminist, but dispelling double standards like this may just be the death of me.
Every day, women are subjected to double standards like this. Men can sleep with whoever (whenever), but women cannot. It’s okay for men to throw monogamy out the window, but women get verbally burned at the stake for even texting another guy. Even in the sexually-liberated Rihanna era, single women still cannot exercise their right to bed whomever they choose. Now, I’m a firm believer that HOW you go about your sex life dictates if you’re dabbling in hoe behavior or not, but just the act of having a healthy sex life doesn’t make a woman’s spotty past any different than that of a man’s.
And mistakes? My God, those are acceptable for men in relationships, but women? Never! Don’t let a woman slip up and have a baby (even after a fresh break-up). He’ll forgive her when hell freezes over, but let a man step outside of his current relationship; he’ll have a child with another woman and be able to tip-toe right back into the heart of his main lady. All is forgiven, even in society’s eyes. What is up with the double standard on this? Is it really never going to balance itself out?