Big Girls, Confidence, and Shame
This past spring break, a couple of friends and I decided to spend a week where the weather is warm and the streets are buzzing, a place called South Beach Miami.
As someone who has always battled with her weight, my preparation for my vacation became extensive. I was in the gym everyday for hours trying to create a body to compete with the beauty queens, video models, and the other perfect beings I envisioned would be laid out on the sand. After weeks of workouts and dieting, I felt great. I was genuinely proud of my transformation. Yet, I still wasn’t sure if I was beach ready.
When I touched down in Miami, I was enthralled. I was ready for the wild and reckless adventures that would define my Spring Break.
First destination, the beach!
My excitement quickly turned into uncertainty. Was the world ready for my “beach body”? With immense hesitation, I reached for the only one-piece bathing suit I packed, and quickly covered myself with my sheer floral print sarong. It was then that I felt ready and confident to reveal myself to other spring-breakers.
As I walked along the beach, my visions became reality. The women were perfect. There were skinny girls, models, and beautiful women in their bikinis. Thank God I brought my cover-up! As I continued to walk further along the beach, the images changed. There were big girls in bathing suits.