To Be Perfectly Honest, Frank…
Now I know what some of you are going to say “who cares?” But let’s be honest, nobody wants to be the butt of a joke. That’s why you see even the most popular celebs spazzing out on random people they feel are harassing them. At the end of the day, we’re all human. And on some level, we all want to be accepted.
Did you know that since 2008 I’ve lost 103lbs but I still struggle with my body image? Did you know that after nine years of working/eating/breathing film and TV, I left that industry and found myself completely lost? I actually fell into blogging just because I didn’t know what else to do. I’ve had my heart broken more times than I think is fair, and it has left me über cautious of who I date–or let in for that matter–simply because I know all to well what it’s like when it’s over.
Real talk, this harsh and expensive ass city that I love, whips my ass, and what many don’t realize about this career choice of mine is that every single day is a battle. While I’m so grateful to God to be able to do what I do and experience the many amazing things I do, I am taxed constantly with chasing down checks, dealing with unprofessionalism, ridiculous hours, horny rappers, constant self-editing and moments where I look at my friends back home–with their families and their quiet stable lives–and I think to myself that maybe I just want that.
I don’t say any or all of this for you to feel sorry for me. Like I said, I know how blessed I am. I’m telling you all of this because I know that if I’m dealing with all of this, maybe in their own way, someone else out there is too. And maybe, just maybe–like Frank–we both can find the courage to say this is who I am. Sometimes in the moment, playing it cool is easier. But in the long run, being you is better. There’s something magical that happens, when you are being your true self and the universe will always reward you in kind.
As I continue to learn and grow both personally and professionally, I have to decide what I want my own personal zeitgeist to be. My dear friend Jovi told me today, “I want you to make being yourself cool.” I instantly thought of Frank who was willing to risk so very much just to finally live his life as nothing more than himself. If he can do it, so can I. And if I can do it, so can you.