The Recap: ABC’s ‘The Bachelorette’ Introduces A Doggy Style Date And A Secret Girlfriend

It’s week two of bachelorette star and Black Girl Magic ambassador Rachel Lindsay’s quest for love. The good news is that Adam Jr. was nowhere to be found this week. The bad news is that things are off to a messy start.

Last week, the 31-year-old attorney cut seven hopefuls from her pool of potential husbands. The 24 remaining men spent this week getting to know Rachel and each other. Petty arguments, competitive group dates and the revelations of several secrets packed this two-hour segment, leaving no room for the rose ceremony. Only three of the Dallas native’s smitten suitors are known to be safe, based on the roses they’ve received on dates: Josiah, Peter and Dean.

We’ll have to wait until next week to see who else survives, but there was definitely enough drama to keep fans talking until then. In the meantime, here are this week’s five most memorable moments.

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1. Husband Material Or Nah?

The first group date of the season had the men literally tripping over themselves for Rachel’s attention. With the help of actors Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, our bachelorette subjected a select group of her suitors to an obstacle course to test if they were “Husband Material.” The challenges included changing a baby doll’s diaper, strapping their new child into a baby carrier, vacuuming, pulling a long rope of hair from a clogged drain, finding one of two plastic engagement rings at the bottom of a clogged sink, setting a table for dinner, and finally delivering a bouquet of flowers to their beloved. Kenny and Lucas (a.k.a “Whaboom”) each set themselves apart from the group by speeding through the course. The two were head to head for most of the game until Lucas stiff-armed Kenny in the neck, snatched the bouquet and crossed the finish line. Rachel didn’t call Lucas out for the unnecessary violence, but personally, I saw it as another indicator of the “Whaboom” bafoon’s childishness. I believe in fighting for what you want, but issa game, dawg. Kenny, the professional wrestler, was a good sport about the loss, which is very lucky for Lucas.

2. Stay focused, Blake.

Kenny isn’t the only person “Whaboom” rubbed the wrong way last night. Blake revealed that he is roommates with an ex-girlfriend of Lucas’ and that he has been “Whaboom-ing” for the past three years. Blake even went as far as to tell Rachel that he believes Lucas’ intentions aren’t genuine and that he’s using the show for fame. This, of course, is an accusation that lands on at least one contestant per season, but can we at least make it through the second episode? Blake immediately told Lucas about his conversation with Rachel, and the two fell into a confusing argument of one-liners and cheap shots. I’m not a fan of Lucas either, but I always find this kind of rivalry annoying. Each person should just focus on their individual connections with their love interest and stop wasting time trying to bring others down.

3. Peter Snags Doggy Style One-On-One Date

Peter, the 31-year-old business owner from Madison, Wisconsin, received the first one-on-one date of the season. Rachel’s “dog-child,” Copper, tagged along as an adorable third-wheel, and the trio took a private jet to Palm Springs for a Barkfest doggy pool party. Afterward, at dinner, the couple bonded over odd similarities, such as both having a small gap in their front teeth and the fact that they’ve both sought out therapy after a bad break-up. While this date was very cute and Rachel claims to have felt figurative fireworks to coincide with the literal ones that were lit at the end of their night, I’m not sure I see a much romantic chemistry between these two. I’m sure they’d make great friends, but I don’t think passion is in their future. Nevertheless, Peter was given a rose and will be back for another week.

Copper: The King of Barkfest! ❤️ #thebachelorette

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4. DeMario Gets Caught Up And Cast Out

NBA legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar made a cameo for a basketball-themed group date. However, I was very distracted by who was getting played off the court. A woman named Lexi approached Rachel and claimed that she was dating DeMario (the sexy, yet cocky man currently vying for Rachel’s heart) for eight months until he mysteriously disappeared from her life. The next time she saw him was on After The Final Rose when he was prematurely introduced as a contestant on The Bachelorette. When Rachel confronted DeMario about the accusation, he smooth-talking ways seemed to allude him as he fumbled over his words and failed to piece together a believable excuse for his actions. Lexi verified her claims with text message conversations between DeMario and herself, and that was the final nail in his coffin.

“I’m not here to be played,” Rachel says. “I’m not here to be made a joke of, which is really what I feel like you’re doing right now. I’m gonna need you to get the f**k out.” DeMario gets escorted out and Rachel is left angry, annoyed and full of self-doubt about her own judgment.

5. Harrison, We Have A Problem.

Arisen from the dead, DeMario shows up to pre-rose ceremony cocktail party claiming to have gotten his story straight and requesting to speak to Rachel to avenge his “assassinated” character. Rachel agrees to speak to him out of curiosity for what he could possibly have to say, and it doesn’t take long for word to spread among the men of the uninvited guest. The episode ends with Rachel approaching the front gate to meet DeMario and her gang of boyfriends plotting to give the ejected playboy a more hands-on send-off than he received the first time.

The Bachelorette airs Monday nights at 8/7C on ABC.