The Player: Los Angeles Lakers guard Sasha Vujacic
The Sneaker: PEAK Sasha Vujacic Sneakers (at least, that's what we think that says?!)
The Reason: Well, first off, why wouldn't PEAK want to add Vujacic to their growing roster that already includes Houston Rockets forward Shane Battier and Vujacic's Laker teammate Ron Artest? He's easily the eleventh or twelfth most popular Laker (falling somewhere between Kobe Bean and the aforementioned Adam Morrison) so it only makes sense that a Chinese shoe company would be all over him, right? Um, no. Step away from these boots sneakers, folks. Seriously.
The Player: Chicago Bulls...Dallas Mavericks...Washington Wizards (!) forward Drew Gooden
The Sneaker: Nike Hypermax Drew Gooden
The Reason: Drew Gooden has to be having an identity crisis right now. Just check out his homepage on the Nike website. It features a photo of him on the Bulls, a logo of his former team, the Mavericks, and a news story about his recent trade to the hapless Wizards. All we're sayin' is that if you're thinking about copping these kicks, make sure the salesman agrees to throw in a map, a compass and a good travel agent.
The Player: Philadelphia 76ers guard Allen Iverson
The Sneaker: Reebok Answer
The Reason: Planning retirement? Unless you're looking for a new pair of affordable sneakers for the over-30 league you play in every other week, take our advice and seek for a better answer. 'Cause this ain't it.
Okay, okay, we realize that we could do this all day. Actually, we did. We made fun of the fact that Jordan Brand once put these two guys in a commercial, wondered why the hell PEAK created Dikembe Mutombo sneakers that went for $125 last year, and made fake Adam Morrison 'staches out of construction paper and wore them around the office for the rest of the day. Good times! But we obviously couldn't fit everything here. Plus, we really do like Nike and adidas and Reebok (and even PEAK!) and don't want them to think otherwise when it comes time to send out a couple of samples (size 11!) to the office. So if you have better suggestions than the ones above (or just want to help us get every last drop—pause—out of this bad Adam Morrison joke we've got going here) hit us up in the comments section or tweet us on Twitter @VibeMagazine...