Everybody in the world is in [Halle Berry’s] business. Everybody is like: She’s dated a lot of men. But most of us have had a lot of relationships. We’re just not as big of a celebrity as she is so people [aren’t] as much into our everyday business. She never said dude was gonna be her husband so I don’t see what the big deal in that was.
A lot of times in life, when you’re focused on your career, you put off love or a real relationship until later on in life. But what I noticed is the older you get the harder you get with your feelings and being able to be won over. When you’re younger, like 20, 21, it’s all about: Ooh I love him and he doesn’t even have to be rich. He doesn’t have to be this. He doesn’t have to be that. He just has to be somebody that makes you smile.
As you get in your ’30s, all of a sudden you’ve been through so many types of situations and it’s like: He gotta have this amount of money. He gotta be this. He gotta be that. I’m not putting up with this. I’m not putting up with that. You get so many rules and regulations that you didn’t have in your early ’20s. So by the time you decide you finally looking for that one, it’s like every guy that comes along, they’re not good enough anymore.
“I’m on a bet right now where I can’t have sex with nobody until after this year is over.”
I feel like as women we’ll be so quick to like the first time a guy comes around. We want to hone in on that one guy if we really like him. We don’t really date. I know I have not been good at just dating people. So now that I’m older my mom was like, “Just date and don’t get too serious about one person.” But what I realized is when you meet a man and he sees that quality in you that you’re marriage material, he’s putting the pressure to be all about him even though he may be still keeping his options open. The other day this dude told me I don’t compete, because he knew that I was talking to someone else when he met me. So I was like, “Alright, do what you gotta do.” It’s like, I only known you a week but I’m not ready to put all my energy into you like that. I’m still getting to know you.
We shouldn’t be so in a rush to lay up and have sex with a guy because all of a sudden we catch those feelings. We are closing off options. I’m on a bet right now where I can’t have sex with nobody until after this year is over [Laughs]. So I’m not locking nobody down because I’m not letting any relationship get sexual. It’s easier to date, but when you start having sex with the person, then that makes you want to keep giving it to him. My mom always tells me, a man can have 200 women and be cool. But two men would drive a woman crazy and that’s because we be trying to give all our attention. We’re catering to them whereas guys call you when they can. They see you when they can, and they may not even hit back when you text them.
My friends say I have “man emotion.” What they mean by that is sometimes I act like a dude in the sense of I can get over people easily as far as relationships. It doesn’t take me long to move on. When I decide that you ain’t doing right and you did something wrong to me, then I’m done. And I’m done. As soon as we break up, I have a date set up for the next week. If I already know how you treat me and you ain’t gonna treat me right, then I’m not thinking about you. So if I have somebody else occupying my time, then I’m not thinking about you. I’m not letting nobody keep taking me through the ringer over and over. —As Told To Starrene Rhett
Kandi Burruss will release her album, Fly Above, this fall in conjunction with a new season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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