Recap: The 11 Best Quotes From Last Night’s ‘Scandal’


Clover Hope / April 4, 2014

Scandal Season 3, Episode 16 “The Fluffer” Weighing one’s wants versus needs is a lifelong task. But when it happens in Shondaland, the internal ethos battle could end up killing the President. That’s right, folks. The White House is being taken down, unknowingly, by the forces assigned to save it. Olivia takes her “considerable talents” to the bedroom to bring down B613. Mellie is robbed of something she holds dear (again). And Mama Pope pops up at the family dinner to send a message. —Niki McGloster “I almost feel sorry for what’s about to happen to you.” –Cyrus Beane Dressed up in her Olivia costume, Abby takes charge of the campaign. But there’s still a cold war swirling between Fitz, Mellie and Andrew. Fitz’s reaction to the new proxy? “Where’s Olivia?” What else do you need? What service can I render for you today? Am I here to stroke your ego? Am I your cheerleader? Am I here to wipe your tears? Am I your nanny? … Or maybe I’m here to make you feel hot and manly and ready so you’re not jealous of your wife’s boyfriend. Is that it? Am I your fluffer, Fitz? –Olivia The not-so-big elephant in the room is that Fitz wants to have his cake (his non-cheating wife and loving family) and eat it, too (his mistress). With the convoluted way their emotions are set up, Liv’s job will never be cut and dry. “Am I willing to piss off a potential mentor just to help you out? I don’t think so. I’m leaning in, Harrison. Making an investment in my future. Sorry.” –Clare When women cite Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In philosophy to climb the ladder of top-tier terrorism, does that mean the Facebook COO has officially made it or nah? “I asked you to save me and you said no.” –Jake A late night visit from a drunken bae does not a hot sex session make (who knew!). As Olivia attempts to step back in the sun, she refuses to literally open up for the B613 command (spoiler: figuratively, that happens later in the episode). Meanwhile, Jake slides deeper into darkness.

“You may not trust me but at least be smart enough to know my priorities and predict my behavior accordingly.” –Rowan/Eli Pope Olivia is choosing to somewhat trust her father, despite Huck’s warnings. However, Eli still manages to drop words of wisdom on his daughter, even when they’re about himself. “I need Andrew to stop screwing my wife.” –Fitz Grant Although still licking her wounds from last week’s revelation, Liv is given her new marching orders. “So you need to make a choice: Do you want to be Vice President of the Unites States of America for the next four years, or do you want to screw Mellie Grant for the next month?… But if there’s one thing I know, it’s that given the choice between power and love, men like you will always, always choose power.” –Olivia There’s that wants vs. needs theme again. “What did he do to you?” says Andrews. Translation: “Who hurt you?” “Jake Ballard. Dude could probably kill you with a bendy straw, but at the end of the day, he’s just a normal guy. Put a fork in ‘em.” –Harrison Wright Sigh. Olivia is off using her sex as a weapon on Jake to get the code to B613’s financial source. Meanwhile, Huck and Harrison briefly discuss men’s most natural weakness. As Harrison simply states: “Women.” “Is that an option for you, walking away?” –Eli Pope With Liv unable to answer her father’s question outright, enter Mama Pope. The Queen of Terrorism shows up to dinner (what a family moment!) nudging Livvy to dead her mission or keep watching the people she loves get murked die. YOU TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME!” –Mellie The slap heard ‘round the world! Once Andrew halts Mellie’s sexual advances, the First Lady sharp-shoots her hurt and frustration at the source of her pain—her hubby. Just tell him that his father raped you, Mellie. Any episode now. “You just killed the president.” –Jake After the Gladiators successfully shut down B613, they toast to “stepping back into the light.” But Jake chokes Liv back to reality (and raises all of our blood pressure in the process): the convergence of everyone’s needs and wants assisted Marie Wallace in getting one step closer to assassinating the president.