Kita Williams is one of the feisty publicists responsible for maintaining the reputation of Cincinatti Bengals wide receiver, Terrell Owens. She was often seen on The TO Show as the perpetual single lady until it was revealed in season two that she had been dating a man named Joe for over a year. However, just when it seemed like Kita found her perfect man he revealed that he was legally married but separated from his wife, which didn't go over well. Despite the fact that Joe planned to get a divorce, Kita felt that she should have known early on and that the only way they could move on is if his actions really backed up his words. Here, Kita explains her views on marriage and why women need to value themselves and make men work for their love.
Love comes with flaws sometimes, but I do not condone women who date married men or women who are with a man and knows that he’s married and are okay with it. I know that there are some women who don’t care, obviously, and there are times where he says, “I’m getting a divorce” but the question is are they really going to do that?
With Joe, I feel I had the right to know [if he was married], even if he thought it wasn’t a good time for it to come out. I was more upset at not having the option to opt out of [the relationship] before being in it. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy and has been nothing other than a man besides telling me. He knew that I would opt out of it before knowing his whole situation so that was the hard part. I’ll admit, my emotions got the best of me but in those moments I felt bamboozled. He has since filed for divorce and started the process and I’m trying to figure out what direction this relationship between he and I will take. Joe is fighting for love right now but I’m gonna make him work.
I’ve had third degree burns from love, and since I’ve been burned from love I never looked to love as being the answer to my happiness. This is probably why "the cookies" is one of the things that’s very important. No matter how old you get, when you have sex with someone, you are connected forever. When I got out of my previous relationship, when I met Joe, is when I decided that I was gonna keep my cookies in my cookie jar. I felt like it was time for me to focus on Kita. Sex is one thing, but intimacy with a person is another. You get that when you know someone and it’s priceless so that’s when I held off on the cookies. I think if women understood more that sex isn’t just a physical act and that we actually hold that power, men would act right. I’m not saying act right in terms of obey me or abide by my rules; I’m saying in terms of the chivalry, in terms of the old school traditional, as my mom says, “courting.”
Joe also understood that I wasn’t just giving up the cookies and he was okay with that. In the relationship that we were in, we both had to be open about everything. His marriage situation is something he kept⎯like I kept my cookies⎯he kept that in his cookie jar and the one thing I will say is and whether it's Joe, whether it’s Jeff, whether it’s Jabar, marriage is a covenant that you take before God and I take that very seriously. When you take a covenant before God, to me, it’s something you can’t play with and because I didn’t know I was highly upset. ⎯As Told To Starrene Rhett
Follow Kita Williams on Twitter @Kitapubdiva.