Speaker and hip-hop artist Chris "Kazi" Rolle is presenting Straight Talk, No Chaser, a panel discussion that allows men to speak to an all female audience about the truths of black men. VIBE Vixen dialed up panelist DJ CEO to catch a preview of the raw and uncensored talk that will take place on Saturday. Check out what this black man had to say about relationships, jaded women and what he wants females to take from the discussion. -Niki McGloster
VIXEN: Why do you feel, as an eligible black man, that your voice should be heard on the panel?
DJ CEO: I want to clarify this, so I don’t get into any trouble. When Kazi first approached me about this, I was a single man. I am in a relationship now, but I’m not married, so I’m single by definition of the federal government [laughs]. This is still very new for me, so I can speak on it. I just want to dispel a lot of the myths. It’s just a lot of half-truths and a lot of misinformation that’s been spread amongst women by other women. As tradition would have it, women are a lot more talkative than men whether amongst themselves or in relationships, and I think this is just a good opportunity for women just to listen. And for once understand that, for the most part, men pretty much mean what they say. When we say, ‘No, I’m not really looking for a relationship,’ that doesn’t mean you can change him. That means that he is not ready to be in a relationship and you need to accept that. It’s just a good opportunity for us to tell the truth of how it is.
Straight, no chaser.
Yeah! This is straight. You’re going get the honest truth. Nobody has anything to hide.
Do you feel that women have a jaded sense of what black men represent in relationships?
I don’t think all women are jaded. I think there are a lot of them that are and they seem to be the most boisterous ones. It’s kind of tantamount to how the black community is viewed as a whole. There are a lot of folks that are doing very well and that are very progressive and are doing a great job of making our people proud, but they’re very quiet, so nobody knows about them. But the people who are doing bad or shaming themselves and our people are very loud, and the people who report this are even louder. It’s the same thing in relationships. There are a lot of black women that are not jaded and know that there are a lot of good black men out there, but they’re really quiet. Women who have been scorned or who haven’t really been scorned at all but just want to run with the pack of 'we hate men,' they seem to be much louder.
What would you say to a woman who is hesitant to attend the event because she feels she’s stepping into a “blame game” situation?
It’s not going to be a finger-pointing session. What it’s going to be is a lot of rectifying of false information that has been spread about black men. A reality to a lot of women who feel there aren’t good black men; there are a lot of us out here. A lot of eligible ones as well. Even though a lot of women say they understand and they know that we are dealing from a much larger pool, so naturally we’re going to be a lot more selective, I don’t think they really believe it.
What is one thing women should take away from this panel discussion?
When they come what they should walk away and understand is that there are a lot of good black men out there but that doesn’t mean that they’re all good for you. You need to find the one that’s good for you. At the end of the day, if you have a history of being in bad relationships, it can’t be the men! It’s gotta be you. You have to kind of take a look in the mirror and think about what you’re doing to attract these men. It’s just impossible to date 10 men and all of them are bad men; there’s something about you that’s attracting these type of men. You have to sit down and figure out what you want, what you like and go from there. You have to decide what you’re willing to put up with, what you’re not willing to put up with and what you demand. We’re not saying that this is how men are, take it or leave it because every man is different in their own way; you just have to decide what you want and you’ll find it in that man when you meet him. Don’t go looking and searching for him and interviewing him like it’s a job. It’s your life. Let go and let God.