VIBE Writer Becomes A Porn Addict For 7 Days (Pg. 2)

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By: Vibe / July 29, 2011

MONDAY, 12:49 PM 
I’m on the phone with the IRS, but my old-school favorite Ayana Angel is on my lap, giving slow mouth hugs to an actor named Devlin Weed. Watching this is totally inappropriate while doing business with the feds. At least the volume’s on mute, which I normally don’t like since hearing the girl’s moan is as much of a turn-on as watching. Thankfully, the IRS agent sounds sexy and tells me I no longer owe the feds any money. Time to turn the volume up and celebrate. 

TUESDAY, 8:34 AM 
I’m in the mood for a new flavor when I wake up. A quick search leads me to Ms. Lucy Thai, an Asian delicacy. Ms. Lucy and I are five minutes into the session when lightning flashes, thunder rolls, my lights go out. No, this isn’t a metaphor for an amazing climax. No power = no router = no Internet = no blast off. Good thing is I have a few flicks on my hard drive (pun so not intended). No worries. 

12:15 PM 
I watch every interesting flick on my laptop until it dies. The last three and a half hours included Glory Holes, an improbable concept where a girl walks into a bathroom stall and a random penis pokes through a hole in the wall. And you can guess the rest, Porn’s Top Black Models 2; Naughty Black Housewives 2; and Face Off, featuring a romp between Aryana Starr and Nyomi Banxxx. Now, it’s so quiet I can hear my own thoughts. I don’t like what they’re telling me. I haven’t been out of the house in three days, moving no further than the couch and the bathroom. And with my laptop down, I realize porn isn’t the only thing I’m missing out on. My normal days are filled with phone calls, work, errand runs and check-ins with my mother. I’m starting to feel like a degenerate. Time for a nap. 

2:45 PM 
Firefox saves the last thing you were looking at when your laptop shuts down. When the power returned, Lucy Thai is right there waiting for me… 

WEDNESDAY, 1:30 AM 
I just watched the sexiest. Shit. Ever. This perfectly brown, too-pretty-for-porn sweetie is face-down, naked on a massage table, with one of those wedge cushion propped under her hips. You know the ones physical therapists use for people with bad backs? The interesting thing is that although there wasn’t the first one I’ve watched from start to finish. Porn, I realize, is entirely utilitarian. It serves a purpose, which can be met quickly, and then you’re done. 

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