In the 10 Commandments of Club Etiquette, nestled somewhere between starting a conversation with the line, “What's your sign?” and wearing a T-shirt when you’ve got Stacy Adams on your feet, is the creepy old man rule. This rule dictates that men over the age of 40 should no longer step foot inside a club packed with patrons only one-year removed from drinking age. Somehow, the 41-year-old R. Kelly hasn’t gotten that memo. Yes, kiddies, R&B’s gifted Lothario is back to reclaim his crown in the hook-first-ask-questions-later era of The-Dream and T-Pain on his, at times desperate, new Gangsta Grillz mixtape Kells along with DJ Skee & DJ Drama present The “Demo” Tape.
On paper, it’s a savvy move from a man who, for more than a decade, dominated the soul music landscape: hook up with two of the hottest street DJs in the country (Drama and Skee), cover some of the most popular songs of the day (Drake’s “Best I Ever Had” and Jeremih’s “Birthday Sex”), and hit home to listeners that you are the godfather of the current crop of acts that have jacked your blueprint as rap’s go-to R&B king. You can almost envision Kelly’s sneering cockiness as he laid down vocals over The-Dream's “Kelly's 12 Play.” Lyrics like, “She like, thank you, Dream, I’m like no, thank you, Kells,” and “Shorty scream like I got two in It / Then I put that ass to sleep” are intended for one thing and one thing only: to remind all involved that Kells does this, for real, for real.
Kelly hits the same notes later at the start of Young Money’s “Every Girl”—“I don't know why a nigga wanna act like a mu’fucker ain’t wrote no hits,” he bristles—a salty sentiment most likely ignited by the lukewarm reception last summer of the leaked version of his still unreleased album, 12 Play: Fourth Quarter. On “Club 2 A Bedroom,” one of several new tracks presented here, Kells goes all Auto-Tune over a sparse two-step, keyboard-heavy track, threatening to turn a festive Patrón-soaked venue into his own private sex palace. “I’ma have her screaming ’til they call the security,” he shamelessly boast, but when you have been found not guilty on14 counts of child pornography charges (he was acquitted in 2008 in a Chicago courtroom for allegedly taping himself having sex with a minor), who has time to mince words?
Of course, when Kells isn’t smoking out with OJ Da Juiceman on “Supa Man,” “Bangin’ The Headboard,” making that “P.U.S.S.Y. Cry,” or rapping over Mims’ “Move If You Want To,” he still manages to inject a little romanticism on cuts like “Supa Dupa Man,” with lines like, “I’ve come to save the day, so have no fear.” But has the same stunningly diverse songwriter who could evoke the power of the blues on 1998’s “When A Woman’s Fed Up” and then make the most joyful family reunion anthem ever with “Step in the Name of Love” been reduced to doing his best T-Pain impression? In an era when male R&B star power is on the wane—it’s telling that comedian Jamie Foxx’s platinum release Intuition (J) is so far the genre’s biggest-selling album of 2009—it’s puzzling to see Kelly resort to copying lesser talents who worship at his alter. The street-aimed My “Demo” Tape may amuse the contingent who like their Kells as the thugged-out crooner who could go toe-to-toe on ’hood-praised tracks with Jay-Z (“Fiesta” is still a club favorite), but Kelly would be wise to remember why Fourth Quarter failed to generate excitement outside his shrinking faithful base. Witnessing an aging superstar stumbling through embarrassing material lacking the balance of his previous efforts—even on his most gaudy you-remind-me-of-my-jeep work, Kelly had always showed breathtaking musical range—is like watching a grown man play in a sandbox. It may be fun, but it just sounds all too toy.
Scroll down past the cover art to download R. Kelly's The "Demo" Tape presented by DJ Drama and DJ Skee.
Cover art for R. Kelly's "The 'Demo' Tape"
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