January 07, 2008 @ 11:53 am

No Shame: Mary J. Blige

by: Shanel Odum

MARY J. BLIGE has come a long way since her tough love B-girl days. Now, she's past the emotional extremes and learning to accept the fact that there's always more drama - and that's totally okay. Excerpted from VIBE's February 2008 cover story.

Monday, November 19, 2007, 5:00 PM

There go those damn sunglasses again! That's my first thought when I walk into Smashbox Studios in West Hollywood. Sure, they look cute with her Gucci black leather jacket cinched at the waist, gray jeans, and peanut-butter-and-chocolate Gucci boots. But in here, the matching Gucci shades feel forced, unnatural.

Mary J. Blige is holding court in this oversized rehearsal space, surrounded by her backing band and a bevy of engineers, all focused on ironing out the kinks in her live show. Tomorrow night, she'll stand before 7,100 people at downtown Los Angeles' Nokia Theatre and do what she does best. Right now, though, it's just her and her inner circle.

Mary rocks shades constantly, but not in that predictable Hollywood, fuck-the-paparazzi way. At one time, she wore designer sunglasses to shield dilated pupils or mask a hangover, but these days — despite all her talk about personal growth and the promise of a drama-free life — you have to wonder if she's hiding something.

Off to the side, Mary's manager and husband of four years, Kendu Isaacs, fires off suggestions to the drummer while Mary bobs her head to the beat of her new song "Grown Woman," lost in the music.
When she finally slips off her Gucci frames, a half hour into our time together, it feels like she's letting a bit of her guard down. I thought she might be keeping the opaque shades on for aesthetic reasons. It could be that her makeup artist wasn't available, or maybe she was just sleep-deprived. But it's none of that.

I'm startled at her unmasked beauty. There are no bags or red eyes. No MAC makeup. No worn out, binge-ravaged complexion — just beautifully naked, butterscotch skin. Doe-eyed allure.

What I see now is a perfect reflection of where Mary is these days. After years of very openly struggling in both her music and her personal life, the woman sitting next to me is a refreshing change. This time around, Mary's not claiming to have found spiritual paradise — no more promises to "Be Happy" or live life with No More Drama — she just hopes she's found a map that will bring her a little closer to it. Her new album on Geffen Records is called Growing Pains, and it's clear that Mary's trying to embrace the pain of growth, not run from it. Having dropped the whole blissful act, she is content to simply have a good day every now and then. As tough as it is, she's looking at herself in the mirror, closely.

"You wanna be happy?" Mary says, cringing and stomping her heels into the floor. "Look at yourself in the mirror for real. Ooooh, girl! That is the most painful thing, to have to deal with what you really, really are and what you've been in denial about for so long."

The songs on her ninth album are honest ("Fade Away"), introspective ("Stay Down"), and assertive ("Grown Woman"). But unlike her earlier work, they don't find her going to emotional extremes — like the desperation of "I'm Goin Down," or the unbridled optimism of "All That I Can Say" — to portray her state of mind. The song "Work In Progress" captures the current MJB to a tee: "Just like you, sometimes I get down / Sometimes I just want to cry, sometimes I get depressed / Just like me trying to be complete, just understand we're all just a work in progress."
To read the rest of this story - and discover the REAL feelings and stories behind some of her greatest love songs, including "Real Love," "My Life" and "I'm Going Down," cop VIBE's February 2008 issue, on stands now!

Article tags: Kendu Isaacs, Mary J. Blige 

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