As we sit in judgment of him, we can’t simply pretend that this is a problem that only concerns R. Kelly…This is our problem
A father wonders if, in forgiving R. Kelly, we must forgive ourselves first...
Even setting aside for a moment the reality of the criminal charges against R. Kelly — and yes, I understand that we can’t really do that — there’s no denying that the singer embodies so much that ails our society.
But as we sit in judgment of him, we can’t simply pretend that this is a problem that only concerns R. Kelly, or even just the girls, now women, who stand as his accusers. This is our problem — the problem of celebrity worship and surveillance, the problem of our continued silence in the face of many more sexual assaults and rapes in our communities, and, ironically, our inability, or lack of willingness, to recognize the humanity of those whom we fear and hate.
Yes, R. Kelly is someone to fear, as we should fear anyone who might willingly prey on those less powerful than themselves. As the father of two young daughters, I have no problem hating the man who stands accused.
But when I consider Kelly’s music — not the booty-poppin’ confections that keep him relevant to a fickle and underage public, but the tracks where he lays bare his contradictions ( 2000’s “I Wish,” 2000’s “Bad Man,” and 2004’s “I Surrender” immediately come to mind) — it is clear that this is a man who has long been telling us that his soul was damaged.
“Instead of y’all throwin’ them stones at me / Somebody pray for me,” he pleaded on “I Wish.” Therein lies the thing that puts Kelly in a legacy of tortured and at times demonic geniuses who’ve swaddled themselves in their art when their personal demons became overwhelming. In so doing, they sought not only redemption, but also forgiveness.
But that’s not something that Kelly has ever once openly asked for. Instead, he tauntingly calls himself “The Pied Piper of R&B.” Many of us — and possibly Kelly himself — forget, though, that in the child- hood parable, the titular protagonist runs off with our children because we failed to “pay the piper.”
We all must pay for the unspoken evils that were done to Kelly; he’s as frail and damaged as any of us. If Kelly is found guilty of the charges currently before the court, he would surely merit the prison sentence that awaits.
I won’t forgive him, but I’d hope that he finds his redemption, because it’s what his humanity — and ours — deserves.
home
