The Worst Hooks in Hip Hop History
Behold the almighty hook. It is what snags the average listener’s attention, reels them closer to an artist, and keeps them attached to the music’s charm long after the song is finished. It gets the women’s booties shaking and the men’s ice rattling (or whatever men do in the club). The hook is that melodic little tune that we can’t get out of our heads no matter how hard we try. That’s actually the idea.
Most Hip Hop on the radio today is there because it hinges on catchy hooks, relying on pop structures instead of more traditional rap roots. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. When we look at “The Worst Hooks in Hip-Hop History,” we’ll find plenty of songs that could have used a bit more delicate fragrance than abrasive stench.
Don’t expect Lil’ B, Odd Future, or anyone else whose head-pounding hooks serve a unique purpose to show up on this list. Instead, we’ve chosen well-known artists who were striving for the most appealing results – and wound up in the mud.
Most Hip Hop on the radio today is there because it hinges on catchy hooks, relying on pop structures instead of more traditional rap roots. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. When we look at “The Worst Hooks in Hip-Hop History,” we’ll find plenty of songs that could have used a bit more delicate fragrance than abrasive stench.
Don’t expect Lil’ B, Odd Future, or anyone else whose head-pounding hooks serve a unique purpose to show up on this list. Instead, we’ve chosen well-known artists who were striving for the most appealing results – and wound up in the mud.
DMX – “Dogs Out”
How can you not smile when Dark Man X morphs his adorable signature dog snarl into a full-blown chorus, consisting of just DMX barks? Imagine the possibilities of his melodic croaks in autotune! Or maybe X should have gotten rabid dogs on the track to fully prove his insanity to the listeners. Actually, scratch that. DMX is barking like a canine for the hook. No further evidence is needed.
How can you not smile when Dark Man X morphs his adorable signature dog snarl into a full-blown chorus, consisting of just DMX barks? Imagine the possibilities of his melodic croaks in autotune! Or maybe X should have gotten rabid dogs on the track to fully prove his insanity to the listeners. Actually, scratch that. DMX is barking like a canine for the hook. No further evidence is needed.
Outkast – “Mamacita”
It should be famous by now. The song that’s such a blemish on the otherwise flawless Aquemini has to stand out like a black eye on a prom queen. The beat pounds and the verses are crack, but what’s with that “Mamacitaaaaaaaaa/ Papa donnaaaaaaaaaaa” being repeated four times for a chorus? It’s hard to imagine a better way to make people skip the song.
It should be famous by now. The song that’s such a blemish on the otherwise flawless Aquemini has to stand out like a black eye on a prom queen. The beat pounds and the verses are crack, but what’s with that “Mamacitaaaaaaaaa/ Papa donnaaaaaaaaaaa” being repeated four times for a chorus? It’s hard to imagine a better way to make people skip the song.
Jay-Z – “I Know What Girls Like”
This is definitely not what anyone likes. The girl on the hook sounds like one of those hanger-on, lollipop-sucking, attention-desperate groupies. It could be Kreayshawn going gold digging. Matter of fact, this girl sounds like Craig’s girlfriend Joi from Friday, braids, nails, hang-ups and all. The Waitresses might have fingered the line between catchy and amateur on the original, but Jigga dives headfirst into “annoying” with this one.
This is definitely not what anyone likes. The girl on the hook sounds like one of those hanger-on, lollipop-sucking, attention-desperate groupies. It could be Kreayshawn going gold digging. Matter of fact, this girl sounds like Craig’s girlfriend Joi from Friday, braids, nails, hang-ups and all. The Waitresses might have fingered the line between catchy and amateur on the original, but Jigga dives headfirst into “annoying” with this one.
Meek Mill (feat. Rick Ross) – “Tupac Back”
Tupac is not back. All these b*tches are not screaming Tupac is back. And nobody in Hip Hop, especially Officer Winslow of Mediocre Music Group, has any right implying that their music represents the resurrection of Tupac, his allure, and the principles he stood for. Any reference to Death Row, “Brenda’s Got A Baby,” or “Picture Me Rollin’” is now declared off-limits for rappers, and the Wingstop Warriors are to blame. Pac would never get down with a damn thing that MMG does, especially this grating hook. But who needs quality when you can just say the word “Tupac” and gain all the street credibility (oooh I can just feel the concrete!) any rapper could ever want?
Tupac is not back. All these b*tches are not screaming Tupac is back. And nobody in Hip Hop, especially Officer Winslow of Mediocre Music Group, has any right implying that their music represents the resurrection of Tupac, his allure, and the principles he stood for. Any reference to Death Row, “Brenda’s Got A Baby,” or “Picture Me Rollin’” is now declared off-limits for rappers, and the Wingstop Warriors are to blame. Pac would never get down with a damn thing that MMG does, especially this grating hook. But who needs quality when you can just say the word “Tupac” and gain all the street credibility (oooh I can just feel the concrete!) any rapper could ever want?
Busta Rhymes (feat. Ron Browz) – "Arab Money"
To be accurate, “Arab Money” was a smash when it came out. But don’t act like you weren’t seriously confused when you heard this garbled hook. It sounds like a dude just wailing nonsense, no? Well, apparently homeboy was actually speaking (yelling) Arabic in the form of a Muslim declaration of belief. Who knew? Almost nobody, so it sounds completely ridiculous.
To be accurate, “Arab Money” was a smash when it came out. But don’t act like you weren’t seriously confused when you heard this garbled hook. It sounds like a dude just wailing nonsense, no? Well, apparently homeboy was actually speaking (yelling) Arabic in the form of a Muslim declaration of belief. Who knew? Almost nobody, so it sounds completely ridiculous.
Shawty Lo – “Dunn, Dunn”
Shawty Lo has dunn it all. He’s dunn so much, he’s done dunn it all. But Shawty Lo might really be done as his career languishes at the been-dunn G-Unit Records.
Shawty Lo has dunn it all. He’s dunn so much, he’s done dunn it all. But Shawty Lo might really be done as his career languishes at the been-dunn G-Unit Records.
Kanye West (feat. Mos Def) – “Drunk and Hot Girls”
Kanye’s track record might seem untouchable, but a song like “Drunk And Hot Girls” only serves as a humbling reminder: even geniuses can make hot trash sometimes. 808s & Heartbreaks, for all of its risky departure, had hooks that we found ourselves singing after the songs were over. Listening to this makes me feel like I’m way too drunk in the trunk of a speeding vehicle that’s making sharp turns every 15 seconds. In other words, nauseous. Maybe Kanye was just simulating the experience of hot girls finding themselves with their heads in the toilet after a night out.
Kanye’s track record might seem untouchable, but a song like “Drunk And Hot Girls” only serves as a humbling reminder: even geniuses can make hot trash sometimes. 808s & Heartbreaks, for all of its risky departure, had hooks that we found ourselves singing after the songs were over. Listening to this makes me feel like I’m way too drunk in the trunk of a speeding vehicle that’s making sharp turns every 15 seconds. In other words, nauseous. Maybe Kanye was just simulating the experience of hot girls finding themselves with their heads in the toilet after a night out.
Tony Yayo – “Homicide”
This is a mess. Anyone still wondering why Yayo never dropped a second album can look to this song for answers. Some think he was playing “I Spy” with himself in the chorus (“There’s a clip in the nine/ There’s a hole in his head/ There’s a body...”) while others believe his hook was heavily influenced by Louis Sachar’s "Holes," most likely one of Tony’s favorite pieces of literature. Plus you gotta love his reasoning here: Yayo describes a homicide scene and then naturally let’s us know, “that’s why homicide all around.” Convincing, Mr. Yayo.
This is a mess. Anyone still wondering why Yayo never dropped a second album can look to this song for answers. Some think he was playing “I Spy” with himself in the chorus (“There’s a clip in the nine/ There’s a hole in his head/ There’s a body...”) while others believe his hook was heavily influenced by Louis Sachar’s "Holes," most likely one of Tony’s favorite pieces of literature. Plus you gotta love his reasoning here: Yayo describes a homicide scene and then naturally let’s us know, “that’s why homicide all around.” Convincing, Mr. Yayo.
Pitbull, Ying Yang Twins and Lil’ Jon – “Bojangles (Remix)”
Yes, you knew Pitbull had to be on here, so why not include those obnoxious hit-makers the Ying Yang Twins and Lil’ Jon as well? For all the success that the latter two have had in formulating catchy tunes, “Bojangles” ain’t one of those. This Holy Trinity of hot garbage can’t even settle on what the hook actually is (“Jigga jigga jigga/ Call that girl bojangles” or “Lick it lick it lick it lick it/ I like that, uh”). If those don’t fit your fancy, you can repeat, “Bring it back, bring it bring it back, hey!” three times followed by the perfectly cheesy “the following is not a test, DJ!” No, we only wish it was.
Yes, you knew Pitbull had to be on here, so why not include those obnoxious hit-makers the Ying Yang Twins and Lil’ Jon as well? For all the success that the latter two have had in formulating catchy tunes, “Bojangles” ain’t one of those. This Holy Trinity of hot garbage can’t even settle on what the hook actually is (“Jigga jigga jigga/ Call that girl bojangles” or “Lick it lick it lick it lick it/ I like that, uh”). If those don’t fit your fancy, you can repeat, “Bring it back, bring it bring it back, hey!” three times followed by the perfectly cheesy “the following is not a test, DJ!” No, we only wish it was.
Pras (feat. Free & Canibus) – “Can’t Stop The Shining”
You want to stop the shining, but you can’t stop the shining. Get it? Okay moving on.
You want to stop the shining, but you can’t stop the shining. Get it? Okay moving on.
Jadakiss (feat. Nas) – “Show Discipline”
How about show some responsibility? Hip Hop isn’t the first place to go fishing for squeaky-clean morals, but, “Kill ya moms/ kill ya pops/ kill ya seed”? I mean, damn. Is there no honor amongst thieves? I know Jada is just trying to inspire young hustlers, but “sell ya crack/ sell ya coke” and “kill ya girl/ it’s principle n*gga!” sounds like destructively ignorant commands. This hook is so asinine that I might have to go shoot somebody just to vent my frustration.
How about show some responsibility? Hip Hop isn’t the first place to go fishing for squeaky-clean morals, but, “Kill ya moms/ kill ya pops/ kill ya seed”? I mean, damn. Is there no honor amongst thieves? I know Jada is just trying to inspire young hustlers, but “sell ya crack/ sell ya coke” and “kill ya girl/ it’s principle n*gga!” sounds like destructively ignorant commands. This hook is so asinine that I might have to go shoot somebody just to vent my frustration.
Kid Cudi – All Of Man On The Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager
I knew this guy was sniffing too much yay when I heard the first couple tracks on this album. Most aren't comprised of singing, crooning, harmonizing or any other term akin to making pleasurable sounds. It doesn’t even sound like he’s trying. “Don’t Play This Song”? I agree. “Wild’n Cuz I’m Young” (not to mention pompous and high off Ye’s Stash) may be up some alleys, but besides the tinkling effervescence of “Marijuana,” these records sound like withdrawal on wax. If his first album was for the lonely stoner, his sophomore effort was for the strung-out creepy dude. And if you were eyeing him during the verses, you’re sprinting away when he sings the choruses.
I knew this guy was sniffing too much yay when I heard the first couple tracks on this album. Most aren't comprised of singing, crooning, harmonizing or any other term akin to making pleasurable sounds. It doesn’t even sound like he’s trying. “Don’t Play This Song”? I agree. “Wild’n Cuz I’m Young” (not to mention pompous and high off Ye’s Stash) may be up some alleys, but besides the tinkling effervescence of “Marijuana,” these records sound like withdrawal on wax. If his first album was for the lonely stoner, his sophomore effort was for the strung-out creepy dude. And if you were eyeing him during the verses, you’re sprinting away when he sings the choruses.
Mike Jones – “Happy Birthday”
This song sounds like Mike Jones is dancing by himself in a cheap, empty club while custodians sweep the floors and Jones smiles really hard so he doesn’t have to look at the nothingness that is now his career. When he repeats “everybody watchin’ me” you get the sense that he’s actually trying to sweet talk his own timepiece into having sex with him. Depressing, really.
This song sounds like Mike Jones is dancing by himself in a cheap, empty club while custodians sweep the floors and Jones smiles really hard so he doesn’t have to look at the nothingness that is now his career. When he repeats “everybody watchin’ me” you get the sense that he’s actually trying to sweet talk his own timepiece into having sex with him. Depressing, really.
Wiz Khalifa – “Roll Up”
This monstrosity of Hip Pop is as agonizing as it gets. The executives at Atlantic must have known how this bubble-gum rap would be received by teenyboppers, as if one would say ‘Oh my gosh, do you know that when Wiz says “roll up” it could be, like, in his car, or, like, rolling up his marijuana. OMG Becky that’s so funny!’ Hearing this track will cause one to immediately roll up every single potent drug into one joint and smoke it profusely so as not to lose faith in all mankind.
This monstrosity of Hip Pop is as agonizing as it gets. The executives at Atlantic must have known how this bubble-gum rap would be received by teenyboppers, as if one would say ‘Oh my gosh, do you know that when Wiz says “roll up” it could be, like, in his car, or, like, rolling up his marijuana. OMG Becky that’s so funny!’ Hearing this track will cause one to immediately roll up every single potent drug into one joint and smoke it profusely so as not to lose faith in all mankind.
Eminem - “Must Be The Ganja”
Even ganja can’t make this song enjoyable. In fact, Dre and Em must have been smoking too much of that 2001 Chronic to think this song had any ring to it. Encore found Em in his ultimate comedy phase, deep into drug use and apparently amused with the voices he used. But on Relapse, “Must Be The Ganja” sounds like he actually tried to make a song for smokers (talk about out of touch). The only thing that dragging out the “ganjaaaaaa” and “marijuanaaaaa” in the hook does is make me want to smoke weed, turn this song off and go outside.
Even ganja can’t make this song enjoyable. In fact, Dre and Em must have been smoking too much of that 2001 Chronic to think this song had any ring to it. Encore found Em in his ultimate comedy phase, deep into drug use and apparently amused with the voices he used. But on Relapse, “Must Be The Ganja” sounds like he actually tried to make a song for smokers (talk about out of touch). The only thing that dragging out the “ganjaaaaaa” and “marijuanaaaaa” in the hook does is make me want to smoke weed, turn this song off and go outside.
Nas – “Big Girl”
It was written that this album would suck. Where I Am stumbled, Nastradamus fell flat on its face. The biggest flop of them all is “Big Girl”, which is an unfortunate attempt at Nas singing The Stylistics (I know, not a stretch at all!) The song’s struggle is evocative of a haggard Escobar in the corner of a dark, dingy bar, drunkenly singing karaoke to himself. The wise Nastradamus must have seen his L’s coming from far away.
It was written that this album would suck. Where I Am stumbled, Nastradamus fell flat on its face. The biggest flop of them all is “Big Girl”, which is an unfortunate attempt at Nas singing The Stylistics (I know, not a stretch at all!) The song’s struggle is evocative of a haggard Escobar in the corner of a dark, dingy bar, drunkenly singing karaoke to himself. The wise Nastradamus must have seen his L’s coming from far away.
Big Sean – “Dance (A$$)”
This song makes girls shake their a*s. Who am I to complain? I should just sit back and let Big Sean trick people into thinking he’s a good rapper. All that syllable pandering can’t save him from having the most atrocious hook in years, but people still love it. Hip Hop is becoming this strange bizarre world where the worse your song is, the higher your chance is of getting on the radio and making a splash with it. Strip away ornaments and keep only the bare bones of a strip club booty shaker. I never want to hear anything like this for the rest of my life.
This song makes girls shake their a*s. Who am I to complain? I should just sit back and let Big Sean trick people into thinking he’s a good rapper. All that syllable pandering can’t save him from having the most atrocious hook in years, but people still love it. Hip Hop is becoming this strange bizarre world where the worse your song is, the higher your chance is of getting on the radio and making a splash with it. Strip away ornaments and keep only the bare bones of a strip club booty shaker. I never want to hear anything like this for the rest of my life.
Jay-Z – “Venus Vs. Mars”
Maybe I could see this playing out well between a girl and a guy on the dancefloor, but they’d have to be pretty wasted to not realize how corny this sounds. In case you’re interested, next time you two-step into the 40/40, just have the guy say “shawty get it in” and the girl answer “daddy go hard,” then repeat five times. Now try it without laughing.
Maybe I could see this playing out well between a girl and a guy on the dancefloor, but they’d have to be pretty wasted to not realize how corny this sounds. In case you’re interested, next time you two-step into the 40/40, just have the guy say “shawty get it in” and the girl answer “daddy go hard,” then repeat five times. Now try it without laughing.
Styles P – “Kill That F*ggot”
It's safe to assume Styles P doesn’t support same sex marriage. Maybe if given three tries, someone could accurately guess what this hook consists of: gunshots and spirited refrains for “kill that f*ggot!” Alrighty then. I bet they play this in the GLAAD office more often than you’d think.
It's safe to assume Styles P doesn’t support same sex marriage. Maybe if given three tries, someone could accurately guess what this hook consists of: gunshots and spirited refrains for “kill that f*ggot!” Alrighty then. I bet they play this in the GLAAD office more often than you’d think.
L.O.X. – “Bring It On”
The L.O.X.’s debut group album We Are The Street had so many wack hooks, they nearly overshadowed how dope the verses were. When Sheek keeps repeating “bring it on, come on,” it’s reminiscent of Barney as he rounds up the kids to march around the playroom and practice their ABCs. It doesn’t get much more uninspired than this half-a*sed battle cry.
The L.O.X.’s debut group album We Are The Street had so many wack hooks, they nearly overshadowed how dope the verses were. When Sheek keeps repeating “bring it on, come on,” it’s reminiscent of Barney as he rounds up the kids to march around the playroom and practice their ABCs. It doesn’t get much more uninspired than this half-a*sed battle cry.
Swizz Beatz (Feat. Drag-On) – “Bust Ya Gunz”
Imagine yourself singing this hook out loud anywhere: in the club, in your room, in the car. That feeling you just got? That’s your skin crawling. As if Swizzy doing call-and-response with himself in “do we f*ck ‘em til they c*m? hell yeah we make ‘em c*m!” wasn’t humorous enough, he lays the cherry on top with one defenseless “oh-oh” after the other. Taking any part in reciting this hook is more embarrassment than any high school pimple popper has to fear.
Imagine yourself singing this hook out loud anywhere: in the club, in your room, in the car. That feeling you just got? That’s your skin crawling. As if Swizzy doing call-and-response with himself in “do we f*ck ‘em til they c*m? hell yeah we make ‘em c*m!” wasn’t humorous enough, he lays the cherry on top with one defenseless “oh-oh” after the other. Taking any part in reciting this hook is more embarrassment than any high school pimple popper has to fear.
Nicki Minaj - “Stupid Hoe”
Nicki Minaj will not escape the grasp of this list. Hip Hop went from Lil’ Kim’s sexy yet edgy wit, to Nicki’s dumbed-down pop song replicas. The song is particularly sad for the young generation watching this stuff who don’t even have a reference point of dope female rappers. Listeners are left without ingenuity or originality to pick out from her songs, only droning and incessant phrases repeated in that irksome voice of hers. Ironically enough, this song is meant to be a Kim diss. Too bad Nicki won’t be making music like this anytime soon.
Nicki Minaj will not escape the grasp of this list. Hip Hop went from Lil’ Kim’s sexy yet edgy wit, to Nicki’s dumbed-down pop song replicas. The song is particularly sad for the young generation watching this stuff who don’t even have a reference point of dope female rappers. Listeners are left without ingenuity or originality to pick out from her songs, only droning and incessant phrases repeated in that irksome voice of hers. Ironically enough, this song is meant to be a Kim diss. Too bad Nicki won’t be making music like this anytime soon.
Lil’ Wayne (feat. Rick Ross) – “John”
Remember when Wayne got out of jail and everyone was so thrilled that sober Weezy was gonna kill everything like he did on that Rikers verse for “Light Up”? Then “John” dropped, solidifying what everybody feared: Wayne wasn’t as nice anymore. Granted this may be an inaccurate claim, instead owing to the temperamental sway of Hip Hop fans who love someone one day and forget them the next, Wayne entered a steep decline with this song. For God’s sake, he’s comparing himself to John Lennon! ‘Nuff said. (And we all know Officer Winslow doesn’t own any choppers.)
Remember when Wayne got out of jail and everyone was so thrilled that sober Weezy was gonna kill everything like he did on that Rikers verse for “Light Up”? Then “John” dropped, solidifying what everybody feared: Wayne wasn’t as nice anymore. Granted this may be an inaccurate claim, instead owing to the temperamental sway of Hip Hop fans who love someone one day and forget them the next, Wayne entered a steep decline with this song. For God’s sake, he’s comparing himself to John Lennon! ‘Nuff said. (And we all know Officer Winslow doesn’t own any choppers.)
Cam’Ron – “Curtis”
The name heard all around New York. Cam’ron’s hook on the diss towards 50 Cent still stands as the only thing people remember from that beef. 50 himself was looking oh so scressed on the Curtis album cover, head in his hands, vexation across his face. Cam knew he had to deliver comedy as well as disses, but safe to say that this one lands more on the former than the latter.
The name heard all around New York. Cam’ron’s hook on the diss towards 50 Cent still stands as the only thing people remember from that beef. 50 himself was looking oh so scressed on the Curtis album cover, head in his hands, vexation across his face. Cam knew he had to deliver comedy as well as disses, but safe to say that this one lands more on the former than the latter.
Soulja Boy – “Yahhh!”
Just because Lil’ B is off limits doesn’t mean his most egregious biter is too. “Yahhh!” crystallizes everything you need to know about Soulja Boy: jack shit. If only he could have gotten Howard Dean to hop on the remix, this thing could have taken that man to the White House. Welcome to the bottom of the barrel, ladies and gentleman.
Just because Lil’ B is off limits doesn’t mean his most egregious biter is too. “Yahhh!” crystallizes everything you need to know about Soulja Boy: jack shit. If only he could have gotten Howard Dean to hop on the remix, this thing could have taken that man to the White House. Welcome to the bottom of the barrel, ladies and gentleman.
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