Pen Pals: 24 People Beyonce Should Write Letters To
Since launching her revealing Tumblr page, Beyoncé has penned more than a few handwritten letters showing gratitude and appreciate to those who have touched her life, including Frank Ocean, Michelle and Barack Obama, Mama Tina Knowles and Michael Jackson. She even takes time to jot notes of sarcastic slander (Mitt Romney) and praise (Rashida Jones) as a way to keep us guessing.
Much like her music career, it seems only an elite sect experiences the pen treatment from B, but we think she should share the wealth.
Here’s the 24 peeps we think the Queen should give a shout to by spilling ink.— Kamille Cooper, Stacy-Ann Ellis, Niki McGloster and Adelle Platon
Much like her music career, it seems only an elite sect experiences the pen treatment from B, but we think she should share the wealth.
Here’s the 24 peeps we think the Queen should give a shout to by spilling ink.— Kamille Cooper, Stacy-Ann Ellis, Niki McGloster and Adelle Platon
Click through the gallery to see our picks
1. Jay-Z
To our dismay, a letter to her hubby may just be the shortest letter Mrs. Knowles-Carter writes, given their mums-the-word relationship they’ve carried on for so long. If she did grace us with its presence, it’d probably read something like this:
“Jay,
You know what it is ;)
B.”
2. Chloe and Halle
These two Youtube-sensations caught the attention of over two million viewers with vocal ranges strikingly similar to Queen Bey’s. Wouldn’t it be something if she took notice of the super smiling sisters and penned a little encouragement to her prodigies-in-progress?
3. Solange
Despite ongoing public speculation and criticism of Solo living in her sister’s shadow, in Beyonce’s world, family is everything and she has never cast an inch of shade. Through photos, Big Sis has no problem reaffirming that sisters and best friends are interchangeable terms, but put the pen to the paper so we know it’s real.
4. Mitt Romney
Beyonce has an uncanny ability to make you question your self-worth without even trying. Though she blasted a swift “TAKE THAT MITCHES” through the Instagram canal, it would’ve been clutch had she used her kill-them-with-kindness words to chin-check the governor during his frequent hot-headed and borderline disrespectful moments.
5. Donald Trump
Positivity, admiration and empowerment have been the core of all of Beyonce’s letters to date, but we’re sure she’ll have a different selection of words for the man who tried to bribe our re-elected President. It’s hard to even begin to imagine how she paraphrases “shame on you.”
6. KERI HILSON
Since Miss Hilson was ever so kind to cook up subliminal “advice” on a track, after a baby and never ceasing to fade, it may be the right time for Bey to offer up the singer advice on relevancy.
7. AALIYAH
With Mr. Carter’s “Miss U” ode to the late great, Baddie Bey should write a letter to the industry darling to match. After all, Aaliyah was apart of the Roc.
8. ALICIA KEYS
Since Blue Ivy Carter will be hitting her one-year mark soon, we’re thinking its quite time for a play date with Swizz and Alicia’s son Egypt. A formal (and public) written invitation would do the trick. Toddlers in Paris, anyone?
9. LADY GAGA
These two industry phenoms have already beat Pinky and The Brain to the punch, taking over the world both musically and in fashion. A letter from Honey Bee to Gaga hinting the duos next scheme is completely necessary.
10. HARRY BELAFONTE
Men lie and women lie but numbers sure don’t. Between her political campaigning for Barack Obama and being an advocate for World Humanitarian Day, perhaps Beyoncé should seriously jot down her philanthropic receipts for Harry to see.
11. Sasha and Malia
Since B knows a thing or two about paps, presidential treatment and stealing private moments in the public eye, she should drop a few lines to the school-aged Obamas who are facing four more years in the White House as growing young girls.
12. Nicki Minaj
Bey's too nice to rattle off obscenities about Minaj's asinine feud with Mariah, but we could see her dropping that "respect your elders" adage for the quirky rapper and all the world to read.
13. Oprah
Since these two powerhouses are closely acquainted already, there's not much B probably hasn't said to the media maven yet. However, she could publicly express gratitude for O's inspiring biz moves.
14. Rihanna
Beyonce saluting Rihanna’s superhuman work ethic and addressing the Breezy issue in a perfectly penned masterpiece? +1, please.
15. LaToya Luckett and LaTavia Roberson
The original members of Destiny's Child may be over the split but tons of fans would love to read B's heartfelt letter to ghosts of DC's past.
16. Instagram
Although the photo-centric social media app should be writing her a letter, BaddieBey might jot down a line or two about prepare for her takeover.
17. Drake
A "Dear John" letter from Bey to Drizzy would allow the Toronto rapper to cope with his emo musings, coercing him the T.O. kid to pen cases of the ex in his music without name-dropping. Maybe Bey could inspire some monogamy in the Canuck, too.
18. KimYe
Kanye West is fair game as a recipient of a Bey epistle. Having been Jay's ride-or-die for more than seven years, she has seen her big bro 'Ye become one of rap's kings and Kim K’s arm candy. The "Crazy In Love" singer could advise KimYe on how to keep the PDA cute but not overbearing (i.e. flooding Instagram with pics of "my baby" should be the first step to famous couple rehabilitation).
19. Clint Eastwood
When tapping one of the world's biggest stars for your film remake, understand there are time restraints. Beyoncé could flex her scribe game as an I.O.U. to Clint Eastwood after allegedly chucking the deuces to his A Star Is Born film project. Nothing says sorry like a little note from the heart. (That is, if this has nothing to do with The Chair thing.)
20. Kendrick Lamar
K-Dot is a good kid with mad intentions. Just bang his "Beyoncé" joint for some insight into his intricate plot to steal Jay's wifey from him. A love note from Beyoncé, thanking him for his advances (although futile) would make this up-and-coming rapper's wet dream a reality...if only for a moment.
21. Rick Ross
Nobody got time for diced pineapples. One gander at Beyoncé's body and you know it's well-balanced everything on her daily menu. Maybe a workout regimen and a suggested diet with a few cleanses could help the MMG leader go harder in the gym. Bey could even slip in a Maybach Music drop.
22. Blue Ivy
Blue Ivy hasn’t yet registered how lucky she is or even how famous her hip-hop royal parents are. Along similar lines of her hubby’s “Glory,” Mommy B should write a letter explaining how the 10-month-old came to be for an older Blue Ivy to read at a later date.
23. The Kardashians
Bey also runs with a clique in the same way the Kardashians do. A little note to them on how to retain the mystery and ease up on the drama could work wonders. (See: B’s letter to Yeezy)
24. Gwyneth Paltrow
Like passing notes in class, Beyonce should share a note to bestie Gwyn via Tumblr. While back then we scribbled about the hot guy in Chem, math homework and after school sports, B’s letter would read like a true queen’s: penthouses, what to wear to the Grammys and planning a trip to Paris.
