3. Jared Allen
As far as bare necessities are concerned, Minnesota Vikings defensive end Jared Allen is 6-foot-6, 270 pounds of elk-spearing, boar and bear-hunting badass. Not only is he as intimidating as the bestial critters, he’s got that killer instinct and is also an advocate for programs that fund research for juvenile diabetes and homes for wounded military personnel. So the percentage of going insane is extremely low.