10 New Year's Resolutions That Rappers Need To Make In 2013
Have you come up with your New Year's resolution yet? If not, you'd better get on it. There are only a few days left before the big ball drops in Times Square, and we really don't want you to head into 2013 without a resolution in mind. But, if you have already decided on a New Year's resolution, then we've got a treat for you. In the spirit of making New Year's resolutions, there are a few things that we'd like to see all of the rappers out there commit to doing—and not doing—in the new year. So, we put together a list of 10 New Year's Resolutions That Rappers Need To Make In 2013. How many of these resolutions do you think rappers will actually be able to keep over the course of the next 365 days?
Resolution #1: Stop beefing with other rappers on Twitter
Why It Needs To Be Made: Rapper A has beef with Rapper B and wants to let the world know about it. So, Rapper A goes on Twitter and disses Rapper B. Then, Rapper A and Rapper B become Trending Topics on Twitter. And, all publicity is good publicity so then Twitter beef must be a good thing, right? Er, wrong. Two hours later, both rappers have fallen off the Trending Topic list and their beef is a distant memory. So, in 2013, why don't rappers all just agree to stop beefing on Twitter? If you really want to beef with someone, make a diss record. Or, slander them during a concert. Or, better yet, step to them at an awards show (without allowing all hell to break loose, of course) and let them know you've got a problem with them. It'll be more effective than airing out your dirty laundry on Twitter. And, you won't end up on one of the many "Craziest Twitter Beefs EVER!" lists that we keep having to put together every other week now just to keep up with all the Twitter beefs that go down these days. You'll be doing yourself—and us—a huge favor by making this resolution.
Why It Needs To Be Made: Rapper A has beef with Rapper B and wants to let the world know about it. So, Rapper A goes on Twitter and disses Rapper B. Then, Rapper A and Rapper B become Trending Topics on Twitter. And, all publicity is good publicity so then Twitter beef must be a good thing, right? Er, wrong. Two hours later, both rappers have fallen off the Trending Topic list and their beef is a distant memory. So, in 2013, why don't rappers all just agree to stop beefing on Twitter? If you really want to beef with someone, make a diss record. Or, slander them during a concert. Or, better yet, step to them at an awards show (without allowing all hell to break loose, of course) and let them know you've got a problem with them. It'll be more effective than airing out your dirty laundry on Twitter. And, you won't end up on one of the many "Craziest Twitter Beefs EVER!" lists that we keep having to put together every other week now just to keep up with all the Twitter beefs that go down these days. You'll be doing yourself—and us—a huge favor by making this resolution.
Resolution #2: Stop beefing with other rappers on Twitter—and then claiming your account was hacked
Why It Needs To Be Made: If you're a rapper and you ARE going to continue to beef with other rappers on Twitter, then at least own up to it. This year alone, everyone from Havoc to Chief Keef started a war of words on Twitter with another rapper (Hav with Prodigy, Keef with Lupe Fiasco) and then tried to hide behind the old "Oh, that wasn't me, my Twitter account was hacked!" excuse. If you're gonna beef, then beef. And, while you're at it, stop making "password" your Twitter password.
Why It Needs To Be Made: If you're a rapper and you ARE going to continue to beef with other rappers on Twitter, then at least own up to it. This year alone, everyone from Havoc to Chief Keef started a war of words on Twitter with another rapper (Hav with Prodigy, Keef with Lupe Fiasco) and then tried to hide behind the old "Oh, that wasn't me, my Twitter account was hacked!" excuse. If you're gonna beef, then beef. And, while you're at it, stop making "password" your Twitter password.
Resolution #3: Refrain from releasing trailers for music videos
Why It Needs To Be Made: Because this resolution was on our list of resolutions last year (and the year before that!) and all of the rappers out there didn't listen. Seriously, guys. We get that you're super excited about your new music video. But, if you're that excited about it, then just put it out. We don't really need to spend 45 seconds of our lives watching a trailer for a three-minute music video.
Why It Needs To Be Made: Because this resolution was on our list of resolutions last year (and the year before that!) and all of the rappers out there didn't listen. Seriously, guys. We get that you're super excited about your new music video. But, if you're that excited about it, then just put it out. We don't really need to spend 45 seconds of our lives watching a trailer for a three-minute music video.
Resolution #4: Eliminate the word "molly" from your raps
Why It Needs To Be Made: We know, we know. Everyone loves popping a molly. (WOOOOO!) But, seriously? Like, EVERYONE loves popping a molly now? Stop lying. You're just rapping about it because you heard someone else rapping about it. So, cut it out. Find your own designer drug to rap about in 2013. Or, even better, stop promoting "popping" anything in the first place! How about that?
Why It Needs To Be Made: We know, we know. Everyone loves popping a molly. (WOOOOO!) But, seriously? Like, EVERYONE loves popping a molly now? Stop lying. You're just rapping about it because you heard someone else rapping about it. So, cut it out. Find your own designer drug to rap about in 2013. Or, even better, stop promoting "popping" anything in the first place! How about that?
Resolution #5: Try not to Instagram EVERYTHING
Why It Needs To Be Made: Instagram, like Facebook and Twitter, is a really dope social networking site. And, when used properly, rappers can help promote themselves and their brand by throwing up a few photos every now and then to give fans a glimpse of their everyday lives. But, there are some rappers (coughMeekMi
Why It Needs To Be Made: Instagram, like Facebook and Twitter, is a really dope social networking site. And, when used properly, rappers can help promote themselves and their brand by throwing up a few photos every now and then to give fans a glimpse of their everyday lives. But, there are some rappers (coughMeekMi
Resolution #6: Hire a better accountant and pay closer attention to your taxes
Why It Needs To Be Made: Why can't rappers seem to get their annual payments to Uncle Sam in on time? In 2012 alone, everyone from Flava Flav and Lauryn Hill to Swizz Beatz and Lil Wayne got notices from the IRS indicating that they were behind on their taxes. So, in 2013, it's time for rappers to get a stranglehold on their tax situations. They better start paying up, or else…
Why It Needs To Be Made: Why can't rappers seem to get their annual payments to Uncle Sam in on time? In 2012 alone, everyone from Flava Flav and Lauryn Hill to Swizz Beatz and Lil Wayne got notices from the IRS indicating that they were behind on their taxes. So, in 2013, it's time for rappers to get a stranglehold on their tax situations. They better start paying up, or else…
Resolution #7: Take better care of your money
Why It Needs To Be Made: For every rapper who claims to be throwing thousands of dollars in the air at the strip club every night, there's another rapper having his mansion sold at a foreclosure auction. In the last year, we've seen everyone from Nas to Bow Wow experience major money problems and undergo lifestyle changes as a result for them. So, how about this, guys? In addition to hiring a better accountant and paying closer attention to your taxes in 2013, how about you also focus on opening up a 401k and saving more of your money for retirement? We know it's not as glitzy as, say, throwing two stacks at a stripper. But, look at it this way: You won't have to resort to selling your platinum plaques in a few years just to make a single payment on your 2002 Bentley if you've got some cash stashed away in the bank for it. Sounds good, right?
Why It Needs To Be Made: For every rapper who claims to be throwing thousands of dollars in the air at the strip club every night, there's another rapper having his mansion sold at a foreclosure auction. In the last year, we've seen everyone from Nas to Bow Wow experience major money problems and undergo lifestyle changes as a result for them. So, how about this, guys? In addition to hiring a better accountant and paying closer attention to your taxes in 2013, how about you also focus on opening up a 401k and saving more of your money for retirement? We know it's not as glitzy as, say, throwing two stacks at a stripper. But, look at it this way: You won't have to resort to selling your platinum plaques in a few years just to make a single payment on your 2002 Bentley if you've got some cash stashed away in the bank for it. Sounds good, right?
Resolution #8: Avoid putting out mixtapes on major holidays
Why It Needs To Be Made: We understand that releasing mixtapes on holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas can be beneficial. After all, just about everyone is off from school and work on those days, so in theory, all eyes will be on you. But, what if people are—and we know this is crazy—hanging out with their families and (gasp!) not glued to the Internet all day? Well, then you miss the mark and your mixtape slips under the radar despite the fact that it's a solid effort. Word to Fabolous' Soul Tape 2, which we're still trying to digest fully more than a month after it was released on Thanksgiving
Why It Needs To Be Made: We understand that releasing mixtapes on holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas can be beneficial. After all, just about everyone is off from school and work on those days, so in theory, all eyes will be on you. But, what if people are—and we know this is crazy—hanging out with their families and (gasp!) not glued to the Internet all day? Well, then you miss the mark and your mixtape slips under the radar despite the fact that it's a solid effort. Word to Fabolous' Soul Tape 2, which we're still trying to digest fully more than a month after it was released on Thanksgiving
Resolution #9: Put away the tights, the kilts, the jeggings, and, well, you get the point
Why It Needs To Be Made: Is Kanye West about to start a craze after spending a good portion of 2012 outfitted in a kilt and tights? Um, we sure hope not. But, just in case, let us say this now: TIGHTS, KILTS, AND JEGGINGS ARE NOT TO BE WORN BY RAPPERS IN 2013. EVER. Have we made ourselves clear?
Why It Needs To Be Made: Is Kanye West about to start a craze after spending a good portion of 2012 outfitted in a kilt and tights? Um, we sure hope not. But, just in case, let us say this now: TIGHTS, KILTS, AND JEGGINGS ARE NOT TO BE WORN BY RAPPERS IN 2013. EVER. Have we made ourselves clear?
Resolution #10: Quit crying
Why It Needs To Be Made: 2012 was apparently a pretty tough year for rappers. Why else were so many rappers spotted crying?! Soulja Boy shed a few tears at the BET Awards in July during a tribute for Whitney Houston. Joe Budden opened up the floodgates during a preview of the new season of Love and Hip-Hop. And, Flo Rida sailed to the top of the Billboard charts thanks to the success of his hit single called—what else?—"I Cry." Hey, rappers: A lot of people thought the world was going to end in 2012…but, it didn't. So, dry those eyes! It's 2013. Let's celebrate.
Why It Needs To Be Made: 2012 was apparently a pretty tough year for rappers. Why else were so many rappers spotted crying?! Soulja Boy shed a few tears at the BET Awards in July during a tribute for Whitney Houston. Joe Budden opened up the floodgates during a preview of the new season of Love and Hip-Hop. And, Flo Rida sailed to the top of the Billboard charts thanks to the success of his hit single called—what else?—"I Cry." Hey, rappers: A lot of people thought the world was going to end in 2012…but, it didn't. So, dry those eyes! It's 2013. Let's celebrate.
