A new year means a new you. Did you resolve to workout every morning or finally kick that awful habit this year? Or maybe you’re going to organize your life once and for all (For realsies this time)? Celebrities have their own flaws too. Here, we propose some resolutions for our favorite A-listers to kick off 2013.
Resolution: Stop writing letters to people you can call on the phone
Gorgeous, talented, down-to-earth; Beyonce is usually damn near perfection in our book. Our only teeny tiny beef with the superstar singer/actress/mommy is her penchant for e-letter writing. Since the launch of her Tumblr (http://iam.beyonce.com), Queen Bee has scrawled notes to fans, President Obama and his wife. Super sweet sentiment, but don’t you have Barry and Michelle on speed dial, Bee? Just call them.
Resolution: Stop Tweeting.
Twitter is like a loaded weapon and for someone like Chris Brown, it’s simply too dangerous in his hands. Breezy’s tweets have ranged from offensive to downright disgusting in 2012 (Peep his tirade against comedian Jenny Johnson for a refresher). Chris, you don’t need to promote your music on Twitter; Team Breezy will surely get the Bat Signal and buy whatever you’re peddling. Go on a social media purge and leave some thoughts private. Nothing wrong with having an aura of mystique around you.
Rihanna and Karrueche Tran
Resolution: Stop fighting over the same man.
Enough is enough. Rihanna and Karrueche Tran’s tizzying love triangle over Chris Brown is getting old. Stop listening to Nivea’s “Don’t Mess With My Man” and Brandy and Monica’s “The Boy Is Mine.” Chris ain’t claiming either of you so keep it moving. You’re both beautiful girls and we’re sure that somewhere out there, there are awesome men who would love to date you.
Resolution: Stop wearing women’s clothes.
We love that Kanye West is a master showman but hang up the women’s clothing. That Givenchy skirt/skort/kilt is not what’s popping. There’s a fine line between high fashion and foolery and you’ve crossed it with this one. Now that you’re literally going to be someone’s Daddy, we need you to get your wardrobe together. P.S. Your legs aren’t as skinny as you think they are.
Resolution: Stop changing your name.
Snoop Doggy Dogg, Snoop Dogg and now Snoop Lion. Embracing Reggae music and culture for your new project is great but stick to the moniker we know you as. It’s confusing for fans (not to mention writers) and the whole “man of many names” is really more of Diddy’s thing.
Resolution: Just stop.
Pimp slapping a Target store employee, fighting with fellow comedians, hanging with former Death Row honcho Suge Knight? Onstage meltdowns to parking lot antics, Katt Williams has become near-daily fodder for the gossip blogs. Our dude just can’t seem to keep it together at all. We hope the Friday After Next actor can get whatever help he needs A.S.A.P. before he goes totally Lohan on us.