From Juicy J to Britney Spears, artists have reinvented themselves as everything from strip-club balladeers (2 Chainz, Juicy J) to TV show judges (Usher, Mariah Carey). Here, VIBE crafts a few package deals to assist future comeback candidates.
C LEVEL: The Reality TV Makeover PackageIf Jordan was swinging bats the last time you spit a hot bar, a musical career may not be in the cards. Tuck the 16s away, subtract one, and bask in 15 minutes of fame by landing a role as Obnoxious Confidante in Love & Hip-Hop: Korea, co-starring PSY.
Ideal Candidates: Fat Joe, Teairra Mari, Young Buck
B LEVEL: The 2 Chainz Reinvention PackageNeed an artistic reboot? Use our secret permutation engine to concoct an updated moniker—Lil Racks, Twerk Ratchet, Molly Waters or New Naaaamez! Add tattoos (no snapbacks), True Religion trousers and a bucket of new adlibs and labels will be dying to sign you to a deal you’re already signed to.
Ideal Candidates: Master P, Kelis, Cassidy
A LEVEL: The One-Term Celebrity Judge PackageFace it: the public’s grown weary of those lackluster stabs at singles. Go adult contemporary and clock in as a judge on The Voice, X-Factor or, the next rendition, Celebrity Has-Been Idol. Become a trusted industry insider who shatters the dreams of aspiring “singers” who think they’re the next MJ.
Ideal Candidates: Janet Jackson, Missy Elliott, Gwen Stefani