Good Luck, Chuck! 6 Rappers Charlie Sheen Should Recruit to Help Save His Tour
The Tour Stop: New York City (April 8 and 10 at Radio City Music Hall)
The Rapper Charlie Should Invite: Jay-Z
How He'll Help Charlie Keep Winning: Are you serious? People would show up to see Hov sit the audience and watch the show, so imagine the reaction they'd have if Jay was somehow intertwined into Sheen's act. But just be warned, Charlie: You're gonna have to pony up plenty of your tour's proceeds to make this happen. Because Jay is asking for nothing less than 700 percent for a feature!
The Tour Stop: Atlanta (April 21 at the Fox Theatre Atlanta)
The Rapper Charlie Should Invite: Waka Flocka Flame
How He'll Help Charlie Keep Winning: Man, can you imagine the conversation that would take place between these two on stage? Can you imagine what type of song they could come up with together? Can you imagine...Ah, we think you get the point. This is basically an Internet meme waiting to happen. And if Charlie is half as crazy as we think he is, he'd probably think this was a pretty damn good idea, too. *insert sound byte of Charlie yelling "Flocka!" here*
The Tour Stop: Sunrise, Fla. (April 23 at the BankAtlantic Center)
The Rapper Charlie Should Invite: Rick Ross
How He'll Help Charlie Keep Winning: Unless Charlie's planning on performing in front of a bunch of old fogies (#noshots!), he's going to need to be liver than usual to hold the attention of a crowd that'll likely be filled with folks from neighboring Miami. And what better way to get them up out of their seats than to bring in Rick Ross the Boss to get the job done? (Bonus points if Ross shows up with Diddy to discuss just how awesome it must be to live Charlie Sheen's life!)
The Tour Stop: Houston (April 26 at the Verizon Wireless Theater)
The Rapper Charlie Should Invite: Bun B
How He'll Help Charlie Keep Winning: Bun might not be the main attraction at a Charlie Sheen concert. But he's got plenty of close friends (Weezy? Drizzy Drake? Anyone he's ever recorded a guest verse for?) who would probably be willing to take a trip to Houston in order to be a part of Torpedo of Truth. Basically, if you're having a party like this in H-Town, you want everyone in Bun B's Rolodex there.
The Tour Stop: San Francisco (April 30 at the Nob Hill Masonic Auditorium)
The Rapper Charlie Should Invite: E-40
How He'll Help Charlie Keep Winning: We have to believe there's a way for Sheen and 40 to flip the chorus to "Tell Me When To Go" (Go dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dummmmmb...) into a funny bit during the course of the show. 40 Water also runs the Bay Area and it's never a bad idea to invite the hometown hero to hang out in order to get the crowd onto your side. Just sayin'...
The Tour Stop: Toronto (April 14 and 15 at Massey Hall)
The Rapper Charlie Should Invite: Drake
How He'll Help Charlie Keep Winning: Drizzy is the biggest celebrity in T-Dot right now. And since Charlie's got two dates booked there, it would be smart to get him to show up to at least one of them. Plus, we're pretty sure Charlie wouldn't mind meeting Drake's labelmate Nicki Minaj if he can swing it. You could probably make room for a third "goddess," couldn't you, Chuck?