The Celebrity: Charlie Sheen
Why He Should Have Been Included: Ha! Funny, right? Except we're not really kidding. We do realize that Sheen has about a 0.231642 percent chance of actually ever landing on this list, but in between all of the shenanigans he pulled this year, there was a bit of genius hidden with regards to how he manipulated the media and got the attention he desired. Whether TIME will admit it or not, that's going to influence the way that musicians, politicians, athletes, and other celebrities handle their careers moving forward—for better or worse.
What He Can Do To Make Sure He Makes It Next Year: Use his warlord powers for the greater good! And do a lot of praying as he continues on his quest as a Vatican assassin. Short of that, he's got no shot. But if TIME wants to sell a lot of magazines, they know where to go.