Bobby Valentino’s Sex Column: How Many Partners Is Too Many?


Clover Hope / July 9, 2010

I guess growing up, it’s not really ladylike for a woman to sleep with a lot of men. But as far as a man it’s almost like you’re looked at as a player or fathers kind of look at you like, that’s my boy! Versus a woman shes looked at like a whore if shes had a lot of partners like that. It’s just a double standard. Any woman that I’m really feeling for real for real, I need to know what she’s been doing before I really put all my juices and berries into her as far as the relationship. 

Now, if I’m just having sex with her then it doesn’t really matter because it’s just a sexual thing. But as far as being in a real relationship with a woman and she’s had a lot of partners, I really can’t feel good about that because I wouldn’t really want to take her anywhere and everybody in the club up in there hit my girl. That’s not a good look.

A high number for a woman depends on how old she is. The older she get of course your numbers are gonna go up. A woman that’s say 25 years old, if she’s had like 20 or 25 that’s a lot. That’s real high. This girl told me the other day, “I’ve only had sex with four guys. This whole year.” [Laughs] And she said that like that wasn’t even a lot, but to me that was a lot because we’re only starting the seventh month. That’s like a new dude every month almost. So the average is real bad. She’s looking at probably 10-11 dudes in the year.

I guess a high for me is low for the new age woman. I’m kind of an old fashioned guy because I feel like a woman should hold herself in high esteem and not be all over the place, not let everybody tamper with her goods. It’s unfair but y’all can’t go outside with your shirt off and run five miles but men we can. I would just tell [my girl] that I don’t know my number but the number doesn’t even matter on my behalf because I’m a man. [Laughs] I actually don’t even know my number. I haven’t really added it up.


Bobby Valentino’s fourth solo album, Fly on the Wall, drops in October.