FantasyBlak&white

CIVIL WRITES: (S)Inner Visions

Thanks to Mr. John Mayer, I’m chockfull of questions this week. Sans last week’s spectacle, I thought his Playboy interview was one of the most entertaining Q&As ever (paltry on the follow-up questions, though).  But this entry isn’t about Mayer’s use of the N-Word or his KKK genitalia. In fact, it’s not really about Mayer, more so a quote of his that resurfaced a wonder I’ve had for some time. Peep:

PLAYBOY: Masturbation for you is as good as sex?

MAYER: Absolutely, because during sex, I’m just going to run a filmstrip. I’m still masturbating.

Now females everywhere were appalled at Mayer considering Kerry Washington “white girl crazy” and his penis David Duke, but not once did I hear a female alarmed that during sexual encounters the musician mentally leaves his women. So that got me thinking: is it healthy for men and women to bring images of other people into the bedroom?

This question is more so posed to those in actual caring relationships–––married or simply committed. After all lying down with anyone you’d prefer not to focus on naked says something not too flattering about your “can get it” criteria. But I’ve heard that when you’ve been in a relationship with one person for a great length of time there’s a need for some “spicing up” in the love nest (Makes sense––favorite dish may be chicken, no need to BBQ it every day). With that being known, should the elevation in your bedroom be restricted to oils, lingerie and role-playing? How could either top the image of a fantasy’s top biller?

Honestly ladies, would you care if your partner, while doing the one-on-one (after attending to your needs of course), flips you over and envisions Serena Williams’ generous backside or Kim Kardashian’s sex-tape face to carry himself to the finish line? Fellas need to answer this as well. How would you react to knowing that your lady mounted you and did the dutty wine to mental visions of Reggie Bush? Does it heighten the intensity of the experience or simply create a crutch for the lack of surface lust?

You can either relate or imagine how it is to grow older with a significant other. No matter how deep that relationship may have ripened the initial attraction to your partner was purely superficial. It resembled seeing your dream car for the first time. You desired that car with lust and prayer. You worked for that car. Earned that car. Loved that car. You were there. It helped you get here. But after years that car is not as visually appealing as when you first laid eyes on it.  What do you do? Ignore the feeling from that first day y’all met? Some of y’all are uncomfortable with my comparison of humans and vehicles. Yet both are tangible nouns that another can be possessive over­­. So can’t a case be made for both to be viewed on occasion as a possession? No matter what your answer is surface attraction will be as in vogue as visual stimulation during sex. That will never change.

So what happens when your guy’s pecks begin requesting a man-bra, or her once flat tummy starts giving her derriere protrusion competition? Some additional theatre of the mind may keep ya sweat game fresh. But is fresh always healthy? Are you relieving your partner of the physical pressure (Can he realistically sculpt himself into an NFL heartthrob? Will she ever have ‘Rena’s booty?), or are you falsely crediting your partner for quenching your visual thirst? If it’s the latter, how honest is your relationship? The truth eventually sees the light. So when you or your partner’s mental ménages are admitted, will your sex life be ultimately strengthened or ruined by the filmstrip?

________________

Bonsu Thompson has accomplished more in his career than most journalists dream of. The Rolling Stone 2001 “Hot Interviewer” has penned for mags like Details, XXL, Penthouse, SLAM and KING as well as notable brands such as MTV, VH1, Rocawear and Translation.

From the Web

More on Vibe

Roy Rochlin

Kanye West Claims Drake Threatened Him And His Family

Things are growing more intense between Kanye West and Drake. Only hours after Kanye's first rant, he hopped back on Twitter on Dec. 13, for part two. Only this time, Ye alleged that Drake threatened him.

In the second part of his Twitter rant, Kanye claimed that his phone call with Drizzy took a violent turn. "Drake called trying to threatened me," he wrote. "So Drake if anything happens to me or anyone from my family you are the first suspect. So cut the tough talk."

It's unclear what Drake may have said to Kanye, but the Kids See Ghosts artist definitely seemed to be bothered by the situation.

Ye also touched on their previous feud, in which he claimed Drake was taunting him in public, but would refuse to sit down and hash out their differences. "How you gone text Kris but not speak to me," he said, referencing his mother-in-law Kris Jenner.

As previously mentioned, Kanye's latest tirade comes shortly after the rapper put Drake on blast for not returning his phone calls. He stopped tweeting for a short period when he announced that Drake had finally given him a call.

While Kanye stated that he would not physically harm Drake like "MTV boxing," he did say that he would not be bullied or threatened by him any longer. "You trying to be a bully. I never been bullied in my life and I never will be," he said. "That’s why I made it this far in a pink polo."

Check out Kanye's Twitter rant below.

Drake called trying to threatened me

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

So drake if anything happens to me or anyone from my family you are the first suspect So cut the tough talk

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

It just doesn’t sit right on my spirit

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

He be texting people I know like it’s cool But won’t sit and talk with me

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

There would never be a drake without a Kanye west so never come out your mouth with a threat

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

We both too high profile for you to actually do something to me

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

You [email protected] people with mental health issues

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

You say all this shut to me but won’t say none of that to J prince

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

Talk tough to real gangsters bro

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

You trying to be a bully. I never been bullied in my life and I never will be. That’s why I made it this far in a pink polo

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

I’m up for talking. We need to show all of these fans that black men [email protected] without someone ending up dead or in jail

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

We need to show the world that we will speak without someone ending up dead or in jail

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

How you gone text Kriss but not speak to me

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

Drake I’m not going to physically fight you like it’s MTV boxing

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

Nobody scared of anything

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

Leave me and my family alone bro

— ye (@kanyewest) December 14, 2018

Continue Reading
Jamie McCarthy

Pharrell And Robin Thicke To Pay $5 Million In "Blurred Lines" Lawsuit

Marvin Gaye's estate has finally settled its lawsuit against Pharrell Williams and Robin Thicke regarding their 2013 hit single "Blurred Lines." A federal judge reportedly ordered the duo to fork over nearly $5 million in damages to the Gaye family, Billboard reports.

According to a ruling from Judge John A. Kronstadt, Thicke, Williams and William's company More Water From Nazareth Publishing Inc. will each have to pay $2,848,846.50 in damages. Thicke will have to pay an additional $1,768,191.88 and Williams and his publishing company will pay another $357,630.96 to the Gaye family in separate payments regarding their lawsuit. In total, the damages amount to $4,983,766.85.

The Gaye estate is also entitled to receive interest on the damages against each party and will receive a  running royalty of half the "Blurred Lines" revenue.

As previously reported, Marvin Gaye's estate filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against Williams and Thicke back in 2013. They claimed their single sampled Gaye's 1977 hit "Got to Give It Up" without permission. Both Williams and Thicke's legal team attempted to get the case thrown out but were denied an appeal in Mar. 2018.

Continue Reading
John Phillips

Oprah Responds To Viral Video Of Her Eating Unseasoned Chicken

A hilarious old video of Oprah Winfrey making an uncomfortable face as she dives into a piece of unseasoned chicken has been circulating the Internet all week. While these sort of silly videos wouldn't usually garner a response from the billionaire, Oprah surprised everyone when she shared a video explaining the chicken-eating experience and her initial reaction.

To give you some context, the video is a clip from The Oprah Winfrey Show in 2006, in which O invited her guest Anna Ginsberg to make her award-winning chicken dish. After one bite, it became clear that Oprah wasn't too pleased with the chicken's bland taste. She even asked at the time if she could add a little seasoning.

I often think about the time Oprah did a cooking segment with a woman whose chicken recipe won $1 million, and Oprah's jaw dropped when she tasted it and realized the lady didn't even add seasoning pic.twitter.com/rfs7PS1Jc3

— Spencer Althouse (@SpencerAlthouse) December 9, 2018

Now, more than 10 years later, Oprah is setting the record straight. In her new video posted on Instagram on Thursday (Dec. 13), she noted that she likes to provide a pleasurable experience for her guests but also live in her truth. On that particular day, she was presented with a dilemma. "I was having a moment of trying to decide: Do I want her to have a great time? What is my real moment of truth?" she said. "Because the truth for me was that I'm used to having salt and pepper on my chicken. That's just the truth...That's what I was thinking, 'This chicken needs some salt and pepper.'"

So that's that; Oprah has spoken. She may have played it off at the time, but like many others, she would prefer her chicken with seasoning.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Over the weekend, a 2006 video of @oprah tasting an *interesting* chicken dish made its rounds online. We asked the O of O, what REALLY went through her mind as the cameras were on her—and she answered. Swipe left if you haven’t seen the hysterical video! #tbt

A post shared by O, The Oprah Magazine (@oprahmagazine) on Dec 13, 2018 at 7:13am PST

Continue Reading

Top Stories