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CIVIL WRITES: What Makes A Woman A "Big Girl"

This question has plagued me for some time now. I’m constantly wondering how cognizant are overweight women about their size. Not that I’m obsessed with the Big Girl per se (If you’re overweight and comfortable as such, that’s your prerogative), but more so intrigued by overweight women who behave as if they’re not; the ones who speak and even dress as if they’re four sizes smaller. These women wear T-shirts that stop before their naval (belly on hang). These women blame their weight-gain on their children, despite their youngest attending the second grade. These women say, “I know I shouldn’t be eating this” between bites of white bread and French fries. “I’ll work it off at the gym tomorrow.” How do you add more to your workload when you’re already fifty pounds behind on your subtraction? They speak the words of slim women who only have to maintain their figure.

See lately I’ve been stumbling on a variety of readings pertaining to Americans and their physical health and fitness. The statistics are astounding. In 1974 8% of Americans age 18-29 were obese. Today that number hovers at 24%. Though what stood out most was that 70% of all African-American females older than age 18 are overweight. That’s as crazy as it is alarming, but it made me wonder how sisters deal with it. I wondered whether delusion was a method of coping (if a woman could be depressed about her weight and choose the backwards comforting of Haagen Daz I don’t think my assumption is invalid). But how can a woman begin working at not being a Big Girl if the Big Girl criterion hasn’t been established?

In my younger days I thought plus size was any women in double digits. I’m not so sure about that anymore. I’ve seen some sexy size 10’s. Ethnic women are not only statistically the most shapely and comfortable with their size; they’re also the masters of masking “problem areas,” especially the mid-section. When a women’s blessed with baby-sliding hips and bra-cups that runneth the illusion of an hourglass (even if it’s more carafe than coke bottle) can garner enough interested male eyes to distract that woman from her size 16. Or having been fluffy for years that women has learned to work wonders with girdles, belts with death grips and that voodoo trick of an undergarment Spanx (I always wondered if women viewed wearing Spanx as the equivalent of a man stuffing his underwear before hitting the club. The Catch 22 is if the mirage is efficient you will be literally exposed. Later he removes the sock from his briefs; you unlatch your tummy. Now what? Honest relationship?).

Deceitful styling aside, some plus size women rock their weight lovely. But the fact is most women…no, most people are more attractive with less body fat. So I’m infatuated with the size 14 who actually doesn’t feel she needs wardrobe trickery. Who will snap on a mini-dress fit for Beyonce or Melyssa Ford. Stiletto standing at the bar with boobs pouring out of the top like a Mickey D’s arch; cellulite on blast; triceps gettin’ jiggly with it; enough visible love handles for five Valentines Days. Most guys don’t wanna date a slinky, but these women either don’t care or aren’t aware. Maybe in their head the voluptuous girl and the Big Girl could never be the same girl.

I’m willing to offer what I request so I’m making the effort to be cognizant of my actions. I don’t want to overzealously tag women “Big Girl.” But I need to know the criteria; does it differ between you lady and you gentleman reading this? My confusion stems from having witnessed countless females view older pictures of themselves, amazed at how much heavier they were––“I cant believe I was this fat.” It never fails, though, my initial thought is usually the same “Today she looks at that picture and sees a Big Girl. But who did she see in the mirror the morning before that picture was taken?” 


Bonsu Thompson, The Rolling Stone 2001 “Hot Interviewer” has penned for mags like DetailsXXLPenthouse, SLAM and KING as well as notable brands such as MTV, VH1, Rocawear and Translation. Wanna keep up with the Brooklyn scribe? Follow him via



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Grammy-Winning Jazz Singer Nancy Wilson Passes Away

The world has gained another talented angel. Grammy-winning jazz singer and legend Nancy Wilson has sadly passed away. Wilson reportedly died peacefully in her home on Thursday (Dec. 13) after suffering from a long illness, her manager, Devra Hall Levy confirms.

While Wilson originally entered the music industry with a focus on R&B music, she later showcased her talent on jazz ballads. She made her debut in 1961 with the single "Guess Who I Saw Today." Her breakout hit came in 1964 on "(You Don't Know) How Glad I Am," which hit No. 11 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. It also earned her her first Grammy Award for Best R&B Song. She would later win two more Grammys in 2005 and 2007.

In the 1990s, Wilson was cast as the host of NPR's "Jazz Profiles," a documentary series featuring jazz legends. She later retired in 2011, after nearly six decades in the performing business. She attributed her departure to wanting to spend time with her family. It is unclear what illness Wilson was suffering from at the time of her death.

John Legend was among the many artists who mourned the loss on social media Friday morning (Dec. 14). "So sad to hear about the passing of the great Nancy Wilson. She was a magical performer. I'm so glad I was able to spend time with her and hear her beautiful voice in person," he wrote.

Wilson is survived by her three children and five grandchildren. Per her request, there will be no funeral service. Her family will hold a celebration of life ceremony in Feb. 2019 instead.

So sad to hear about the passing of the great Nancy Wilson. She was a magical performer. I'm so glad I was able to spend time with her and hear her beautiful voice in person.

— John Legend (@johnlegend) December 14, 2018

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Anna Lushchinskaya, who hurled racists insults at an Asian woman on the subway, was arrested. A video of her attack went viral.
Twitter/ @PlatanoMan

Racist White Woman On Subway In Viral Video Arrested And Charged With Assault

A viral video of a white woman named Anna Lushchinskaya hurling racist insults and attempting to kick and slap an Asian passenger on a NYC subway had a happy ending. According to ABC7 in New York, Lushchinskaya, 40, was arrested at the 36th Street station and charged with felony assault.

The video of her antics, shared by Twitter user @PlatanoMan, showed her becoming irate after another passenger bumped into her on a northbound D train (note, it's almost impossible not to bump into someone on the subway).

The enraged woman begins to pull back her hair and tries multiple times to slap and kick the 24-year-old woman. While other Asian passengers restrain her and tell her to stop, she attempts to hit and prod the woman with her umbrella. Later on, she calls the woman and the man who restrained her a racial slur and tries to spit on the woman.

"Everybody was just looking at each other like, 'Are you sure you just heard that? Did you just hear that?'"said Juan Ayala, one of the helpers, to Eyewitness News.

The woman who was targeted in the attack, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she's thankful Lushchinskaya wasn't carrying any weapons.

"I'm lucky that she didn't have anything like weapons on her -- like knife, gun -- because it could have got a lot worse," she said. "I'm lucky that people were on the train who were helping me, especially the first Asian guy who stood in front of me right away because he wasn't recording. He just stood in front of me to help me, because I know other people were recording, but their recording didn't do anything until later on when it escalated."

This isn't Lushchinskaya's first brush with the law on the D train; she allegedly pepper-sprayed a man during the summer.

So this happened yesterday #mta #36st #nyc

— PL∆T∆NO M∆N™ (@PlatanoMan) December 12, 2018

— PL∆T∆NO M∆N™ (@PlatanoMan) December 12, 2018

READ MORE: Racist White Woman Angry Over Latina Adding On To Her Christmas Purchase

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Kodak Black, Vic Mensa And More Friday Releases You Need To Hear

With only a couple more weeks of 2018 left on the calendar, Friday music release are still going strong. The list is getting shorter however. This week, only a small handful of artist dropped new projects or singles, including Kodak Black and Vic Mensa.

Check out our roundup below.

Kodak Black – Dying to Live

Kodak Black's highly-anticipated sophomore album Dying to Live has finally arrived. The 16-track project features special appearances from Offset, Travis Scott, Lil Pump, and Juice Wrld.

Just ahead of the album's release, Kodak dropped the tracklist. It includes the pre-released singles "Zeze," "Testimony," and "Calling My Spirit." The album also pays homage to the late XXXTentacion on "Malcolm XXX."

In a recent interview with radio station 103.5 "The Beat" on Dec. 11, Kodak detailed the significance of the album's title. "It's deep. I be feeling like we dying to live. Everybody going through something and suffering," he explained. "There's a lot of kids who will do anything just because they probably want to get a little flat screen, get some gold, and flex. There's people who would risk their life for $5,000. They're dying to live. We thugging so hard and wondering why the world won't soften up around us."

Dying to Live, which is a follow up to 2017's Painting Pictures, arrives shortly after Kodak appeared on Hot97's radio show with Ebro Darden. Things grew intense on set after Ebro questioned Kodak about his ongoing rape case.

Listen to Kodak Black's Dying to Live below.

Vic Mensa – Hooligans EP

Vic Mensa's Hooligans EP is here with special appearances by Ty Dolla $ign, Charlie Wilson, Mr. Hudson, G-Herbo, and G-Eazy. The album reportedly shares a glimpse into the many experiences and emotions that have made up Mensa's life. While it's similar to his 2017 album The Autobiography, Vic Mensa told us that the project focuses on songwriting in order to tell stories about mental health and love lost.

In particular, his single "Klonopin," discusses drug use in an honest and eye-opening way. "I always make music that deals with intense personal things in my recent life," he told VIBE. "I had stopped doing drugs before I made my last album, and I had moments where I relapsed back into it when I was extremely suicidal. I don't just say these things because they 'sound cool,' I say it because it's the reality of my experience. People are dealing with PTSD and trauma and have few outlets to really address that, especially young black men. People are on these drugs because they're trying to get away from reality because reality is pain."

Listen to Vic Mensa's Hooligans EP below.

Dreezy ft. Kash Doll – "Chanel Slides"

Dreezy and Kash Doll have joined forces to bring fans their latest banger. The slow-burning single flexes crisp bars as they brag about their new drip. It's unclear whether the new collaboration will appear on her forthcoming project Big Dreez, which Dreezy teased at the beginning of Oct. 2018.

Listen to the new track below.

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