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The Eldrick Woods Relationship Blog: Three Things Men Must Do To Watch Tiger Woods’ Comeback With Women

Finally, the namesake and inspiration behind this blog is coming back. Now who’s ready for war? Because when Tiger Woods makes his comeback to golf at the Masters on April 8, expect an all out battle-of-the-sexes.

To a man, if Tiger wins, this is redemption, a clear message that just because we’re a complete mess in one area of our lives does not mean we’re a mess in another. To a woman, if Tiger loses, it serves him right, and he’s getting what he deserves. The age-old expression, what goes around comes around.

This is why my first instinct in regards to the Masters is not to watch at all in the company of a woman. But whom am I kidding? Everyone, men, women, and children, are going to tune in and watch the world’s most boring spectator sport this side of bocce ball. So to help all the men out there who want to watch the Masters and not let Tiger’s victory cause any drama in their own relationship (assuming he wins, this will happen), here are three tips.

ROOT FOR TIGER ON THE INSIDE
On the outside, be anti-Tiger Woods. Root hard against Tiger Woods. Say things like, “I HOPE HE DIES ON THE GOLF COURSE.” Really take it over the top here.

ROOT FOR TIGER FOR THE RIGHT REASONS
If a man insists on rooting for Tiger Woods, it’s best to give his woman the following reason why. “Baby, the only reason why I’m rooting for Tiger Woods is because the winner of the Master’s gets over a million dollars. And you know what that means? More money for Elin when she divorces that no good lying, cheating, jerk.”

DEFER TO A TOTALLY DIFFERENT ISSUE
For those who know absolutely nothing about golf (and when I say those, I mean most of us), a little bit of history about the course where the Masters is taking place. Augusta National golf course is one of the most anti-women private clubs in the world. Since its beginnings in 1933, the club has allowed not one (NOT ONE!) woman membership into the club. Hello! It is 2010, we almost had a woman win the presidency and yet, Augusta National has yet to admit a woman? This is an outrage! Say this, not Tiger, is the real issue with the Masters and repeat over and over again throughout the weekend. — Jozen Cummings

CHECK PHOTOS OF TIGER AND ELIN FLICKING IT UP HERE!

 


Jozen Cummings is a frequent contributor of VIBE.com and hosts his own blog Until I Get Married.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Jordan Peele’s ‘Us’ Is Expected To Make $64 Million Opening Weekend

Thanks to Us, Jordan Peele has another blockbuster on his hands. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the highly-anticipated horror flick starring Lupita Nyong’o, Winston Duke, Shahadi Wright Joseph and Evan Alex, is expected to have a $64 million opening weekend at the domestic box office.

Peele’s sophomore horror film earned an impressive $7.4 million on Thursday (March 21) night previews, and is forecasted to take in about $27 million from Friday sales. The film is also on pace to knock Captain Marvel out of the No. 1 spot at the box office.

Once final numbers are tallied, Us will likely snatch the third-best opening weekend record for an R-rated horror film behind It, which brought in a whopping $123.4 million, followed by Halloween’s $76.2 million opening weekend last year.

Aside from rave reviews and a genius promo run that included simultaneous screenings in major media markets, Us earned a 95 percent approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

The film, set in the mid-1980s centers around a family of four who set off on a vacation that finds them confronting some familiar faces.

Peele recently spoke to VIBE about casting Duke (our April 2019 cover star) in the role of patriarch, Gabe Wilson. “I have to have somebody voice what the audience was saying,” he said. “In the case of Get Out, it’s Rod, like, ‘How have you not left yet?’ [In Us], Winston is largely that voice. There’s one moment where Lupita [Nyong’o] takes a step into the unknown, where black people [will think], ‘I don’t know.’ But to have Winston say, ‘Aaaand she left. Your mother just walked out of the car.’ That’s all we need.”

Duke also opened up about the intricacies of his character. “His function isn’t to see through the veil. His function is to tell the absolute truth how he sees it,” explained the 32-year-old actor. “He’s sometimes there to say the things that other people don’t want to say, but he’s also there to make fun of things to keep it from not getting too heavy, even though it’s real. That was my job. [Peele] respected that. I like to lean into functions. If I’m going to be your antagonist, I’m gonna really push you. If I’m gonna be your clown, funny guy, I’m gonna do that.”

Click here to read VIBE’s April 2019 cover story.

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Cardi B Explains Why She Wants To Trademark “Okurrr”

Cardi B hopes to secure as many “bags” as possible. In response to backlash and burning questions surrounding her decision to file to trademark “okurrr,” the 26-year-old rapper took to social media Friday (March 22) to defend her latest money move.

Since people tend to ask Bardi to use what has become her signature catch phrase, she figured that it was time to cash in. “You think I ain’t gonna’ profit off this sh*t? B*tch white folks do it all the motherf**king time,” she said. “So you gon’ be mad at me ‘cuz I want to get some motherf**king money?

“While I’m still hear I’ma secure all the fucking bags,” Cardi continued before adding that there are a “lot of ways to get rich” in 2019.

The Bronx native caught heat for wanting to trademark the word because she wasn’t the first to say “okurrr.” Cardi already revealed that she started using it after she heard Khloe Kardashian saying it, but the word was originally popularized in drag culture -- most notably by Rupaul’s Drage Race contestant Laganja Estranja, in 2014.

However, Rupaul attributed the word to Broadway actress, Laura Bell Bundy, who used it in YouTube skits dating back to 2010. In the skits, Bundy pretends to be a hairdresser named “Shocantelle Brown.”

Although Bundy caught criticism for her little character, which was deemed racist, she typically gets credit for bringing “okrrr” (different spelling) to the internet a full decade before Cardi made it mainstream.

No matter the origin, it looks like Cardi will be the only one profiting off of “okurrr.”

 

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#CardiB on why she decided to trademark “Okurr”

A post shared by the Jasmine BRAND (@thejasminebrand_) on Mar 22, 2019 at 5:32pm PDT

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Kanye West, EMI Working Towards Private Settlement

Kanye West and EMI could be close to settling their legal drama. Each party filed documents requesting a stay of the case to “explore the potential for a resolution,” The Blast reports.

West sued EMI in an effort to “gain freedom” from his contract, and to own his publishing. In the lawsuit, ‘Ye argued that his contract ended in 2010 under California law, which bars entertainers from being tethered to an agreement for more than seven years. The multi-Grammy winner, who signed the deal back in 2003, also accused the company of slavery because the contract doesn’t allow him to retire.

“Even if the contract were not lopsided in EMI’s favor (it is), even if its terms valued Mr. West’s artistic contributions in line with the spectacular success he has achieved for EMI (they do not), and even if EMI had not underpaid Mr. West what it owes him (EMI has), he would be entitled to be set free from its bonds,” the lawsuit reads.

EMI hit back with a countersuit filed in New York, instead of California. The suit pointed out that the 41-year-old rapper signed multiple contract extensions, in addition to accepting millions in advances.

According to The Blast, West and EMI now feel that putting a hold on the legal proceedings will be beneficial to both sides “and the Court by enabling the parties to engage in meaningful discussions in an attempt to resolve this action without having to incur the burden and expense of litigation and motion practice.”

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