CIVIL WRITES: Can Your Wife Be Your Hoe?


My last blog wasn’t my most commented but possibly my most passionately commented thus far. Whether powerful men need to be graded on a Cheating Curve birthed some powerful points of view (thanks Ms. Renfroe!). Such spirited responses inspired me to keep the conversation alive by addressing another facet of infidelity.  We’ve discussed the reaction of adultery; now I wanna question the motives behind it. Specifically men’s Gemini bedroom behavior: the huge disparity between how men sex their wives and fuck their mistresses.


This issue transcends a man’s power or bank. Whether the unfaithful is a corporate CFO, starving artist or crack dealer he’d rather, generally speaking, surpass his high score with any other woman than his own. The drug dealer prefers to poor champagne down the plumber-crack of a stripper giving him head than the mother of his child. The struggling artist finds more pleasure ejaculating in the face of the barmaid he met last week than his fiancé. The CFO would rather pay an escort one thousand dollars to whip him red than have his wife of fifteen years do it for free. These men are more comfortable expressing their deepest desires to strangers than the love of their life. Where’s the disconnect?


Is men’s disinterest in sharing Mr. Hyde with Mrs. Right rooted in fear? After all, a mind’s sexual fantasy closet is a sacred place. Sometimes that place is dark. Sometimes that place is taboo according to its owner’s society; sometimes it’s illegal. Are men afraid of sharing their freak with their girlfriends and wives because they don’t want to be judged­­­­? Called weirdo, pervert or worse, sick? It’s one thing to pull your wife’s hair or give her bum a smack but how many men are gonna ask wifey to reenact the jaw-dropping tricks Cinnamon performed at his bachelor party? The responses to both queries are why champagne rooms are so lucrative and escorts so paid.


I’m wondering if much of the problem can be attributed to the pedestal men seat their ladies. They hold the queens of their households and mothers of their children in such angelic light they cant imagine soiling their white robes (fact that many men see their thoughts as dirty gives you a closer peak into their psyche). Most men will bathe in the saliva of a mistress but will set limits for their Mrs’ lips because “she kisses my children with that mouth.” Did Tiger Woods respect his wife too much where he couldn’t refer to her via text as his “dirty whore”? Could Kobe Bryant not muster up the courage to ask his precious wife for anal before the road trip that landed him in Colorado? Or did both men prefer ordering out?


To add insult to infidelity, a man stepping out to walk his freak does more than put a family in jeopardy. It leaves a wife home with her very own freak unattended to (desperate housewife). Newsflash, fellas: women love having their ass smacked. They just want it smacked by whom they decide worthy. Your lady may be a goody two-shoes but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy playing in stilettos. What if her favorite movies are The Secretary and Sliver? What if she’s always fantasized about being horse-gagged with a belt or made love to for an audience? Does that make you uncomfortable? Why would it if it gets you off as well…with another woman? They say you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife, but why cant a housewife be a hoe?