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The Eldrick Woods Relationship Blog: I Want My Woman to be More like Badu, less like Minaj

Let’s just say, hypothetically, I had to choose between two women solely off the following sentences.

Woman 1: “I want somebody to kiss me on my neck.”

Woman 2: “Let me put this pussy on your sideburns.”

Chances are I would take Woman 1, right? Chances are most of us would.

Okay, let’s say Woman 1 had three children by three different men, one of whom she is currently dating but not married, all three of them are rappers. Woman 2, on the other hand, has never been associated with dating a rapper, though she sure does hang out with a lot of them.

Both women essentially have the same profession. They’re performers. Both women have shown a lot of skin for the sake of public consumption.

Which one would you encourage me to choose now?

I am going to take my chance and say Woman 2 will get the benefit of the doubt, because we all know what kind of irrational judgments we make on women who have kids with rappers.

Now, let’s give these two women names.

Woman 1 is Erykah Badu.

Woman 2 is Nicki Minaj.

Now, which one should I choose? Is it back to Woman 1, if so, why?

Today, I’m not writing about deciding between Nicki Minaj (been there, done that) and Erykah Badu, so much as I am talking about the way we let some artists get passes because they make the music we like, while other artists get snap decisions made about them simply because we associate their music with our more sinful sides, or we don’t like their music at all.

For her artistry, I have nothing but the utmost respect for Erykah Badu, largely because I know her in no other capacity but through her art. The music she makes resonates deeply with me. Even as a man, she is probably one of the best singers at conveying a wide range of emotions through the power of song. So I will say this again, just so we understand each other: I have nothing but the up most respect for Erykah Badu.

That being said, I do have a fundamental problem with many of her female fans who are quick to tear down other female artists like Lil Kim and Nicki Minaj on superficial grounds such as sexuality. For reasons I cannot possibly understand, Erykah Badu’s level of respect is far and above some of the highest given by her fan base, and yet, I am pretty sure, these same fans would have asked for the head of any female rapper with enough nerve to film a video entirely naked. And many men aren’t any better. Though I am sure plenty of men fantasized over Badu after her “Window Seat” video, I’m sure in their heads they were making sweet love to that woman. Meanwhile, the fantasies they have of any sexualized female rapper probably don’t even include kissing on the mouth.

I cannot lay claim to be some scientist who studies behavior for a living, but I have seen enough behavior by men and women to know the woman with dreads or the woman who sings always gets more respect than the woman with a perm or the woman who raps. And frankly, it’s a bad look.

Though there were plenty who cried foul over Badu’s latest video, and plenty more who declared it art on another level, what became clear to me is this: Badu, because she makes the kind of music we light incense to, was getting a pass by everyone except the good old boys down at the Dallas Police Department. And even though I most certainly am one of those who did see the video’s artistic value, I also recognize the artistic value in pole dancing. Of course I would like to date a woman who is more like Badu, less like Minaj, but it wouldn’t be because one is on a higher level than the other. It would probably be because I like women who wear head wraps. Don’t judge me.

____________

 

Jozen Cummings is a frequent contributor of VIBE.com and hosts his own blog Until I Get Married.

 

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Oscar Grant's Family Advocates To Have Fruitvale Station Named After Him

Nearly 10 years to the day of his passing, Oscar Grant III's family is aiming to build a tangible legacy in his honor. A request to rename Fruitvale Station in Oakland, Calif., the location where Grant was fatally shot by a police officer on Jan. 1, 2009, has been made. At 22, Grant was killed by a Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) officer while he was handcuffed and face down on the train's platform. The officers were responding to a fight on a crowded train and apprehended Grant and other riders.

“It would be an atonement, it would be part of BART saying yes this happened here, we vow that it won’t happen again and we vow to work with the communities and ensure that all people are treated equally,” Wanda Johnson, Grant's mother, said.

According to KGO-TV, BART officials have declared the family's plea unlikely, not based upon the reason of the request, but rather that BART policy requires all stations' names to align with its geographical position. The Oakland transit system will instead install a mural honoring the late father. Currently, in the planning stages, the family also requested a side street at Fruitvale be named after their fallen family member.

Killed in the blink of an eye, Grant's case made him one of the many faces of police brutality. Cellphone cameras caught officers handcuff an unarmed Grant, who was later shot in the back. He died shortly after in a California hospital.

READ MORE: 'Fruitvale Station': Michael B. Jordan On the Many Layers of Oscar Grant 

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Study Shows Gun Violence Cuts African Americans Life Expectancy By Four Years Or More

Gun violence has seeped into the American culture sinking its claws into everyday life. With 53,492 shooting occurring in 2018, the result was more than 13,700 gun-related deaths, reported by the Gun Violence Archive.  A new study led by a professor at Boston University has found that the life expectancy of African-Americans has lowered by more than 4-years due to gun violence.

Based on federal data collected between 200o and 2016, the research concluded black Americans died more frequently due to homicide among younger ages, although white American gun deaths are linked more so toward suicide amid older folks.

Published Dec. 4 in the BMJ Evidence-Based Medicine journal."Our study using cumulative data from 2000 to 2016 demonstrates a total firearm life expectancy loss of 905.2 days, which is nine times greater than observed in 2000, indicating increasing life expectancy loss by year," wrote Bindu Kalesan, the lead author of the investigation.

Furthering the discussion surrounding firearm injury, Kalesan inferred that gun-related injury causes American's to "lose substantial years." A common misconception surrounding shooting victims, only 30% of people struck by bullets die. However, the trauma endured is now linked to the shortened life expectancy.

One of the studies calculated in the 2000s, "concluded that shootings reduced the average American lifespan by about 100 days, with a significant gap between black and white men: Black men lost 361.5 days, while white men lost 150.7 days," wrote Nick Wing, a journalist at Huffington Post.

Two hundred and eleven days in difference, this study is a clear indication of the racial gap plaguing people-of-color in relation to the inherent violence suffered through life. Gun policy, a clear stain on the American fabric, has become a growing issue, claiming lives by the tens-of-thousands with no clear sign of slowing down. The research illustrates the growing issues within the black community, because not only are we being attacked from all sides, we engage in friendly fire.

READ MORE: Girl Who Penned Essay On Gun Violence Killed By Stray Bullet

 

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NYPD Officers Caught Strenuously Pulling One-Year-Old Out Of Mother's Arms

The New York Police Department (NYPD) has found itself in hot water after a video of officers using excessive force to remove a one-year-old from his mother's arms went viral.

Initiated by a verbal dispute with a security guard, a woman identified as Jazmine Headley was sitting on the floor with her son because there were no available seats in her local Brooklyn food stamp office. After being reprimanded by an employee in the benefits office for allegedly blocking the hallway, the cops were called on the 23-year-old.

Headley remained on the floor in the upright position until the officers began to pull at her baby, rushing to arrest and separate her from her child. Hands clasped tight around her child, the mother did her best to keep control of her son, until officers started pulling at the boy as if his limbs were made of rubber.

“They’re hurting my son," she repeatedly screamed while being attacked by four members of the force. Enraged bystanders witnessing the excessive encounter tossed comments about the happenings. After apprehending the baby, and securing Headley, one policeman reached for their yellow stun gun, threatening partons in the office according to The New York Times.

Headley is currently detained in Rikers Island, while the boy, Damone, remains in his grandmother's custody. As a source of advocation for the young mother, Cynthia Nixon, former Sex And The City actress and current day New York City politician, spoke out against the NYPD fiasco.

#JazmineHeadley should not have been arrested, should not have had her child torn from her, should not be sitting in Rikers now https://t.co/yyX0ZuxFhu

— Cynthia Nixon (@CynthiaNixon) December 10, 2018

READ MORE: NYPD Sergeant Acquitted Of Charges For The Death Of Deborah Danner

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