VIBE_Sonja_Norwood

Sonja Norwood's Blog: Don't Be Pressured Into Settling In A Relationship

I'm not a big believer in meeting an age deadline for marriage. I believe the old cliché of you must be married before 25, if a woman is to avoid being called an old maid, is just that – an old cliché. People shouldn’t apply pressure to others to settle into a relationship, especially marriage. This includes family members, extended family, or friends. Remember, you are the one that will live with that person of your choice every day. Therefore, it’s important that you make the exclusive decision on when your time is right and if the person you’re choosing is right for you. 

Love can be a beautiful thing if shared with that right person. If you have been dating for a while, you must know what type of qualities you expect in your partner's character. If it takes you a while to find that person, it’s better to keep searching than to settle. 

The world is huge and has a lot to offer everyone. Many times our mistakes are made because we feel the need to rush. Ask yourself, whose deadline are you meeting…your own or someone else’s? 

I don’t apply pressure to my children to settle down if they aren’t ready. Relationships are personal and the decision to settle has to be made by the parties involved. My advice is that you explore…the world offers a sea of choices. Meet people from different walks of life, this helps you to get to know yourself and your own expectations of others within a relationship. By meeting people you get to know more about what type of person you want to love and what type of person can fulfill your needs. You should look for an everlasting partner and usually you will not find an everlasting partner on the first go round.

In my home, I stay out of that relationship arena with my children. I’m there when they want me to listen. I do have my opinions and when appropriate, I will voice them. Over the course of Ray J and Brandy’s dating, I’ve only met a couple of people that were considered serious. I think it’s healthy for them to meet different people. I don’t judge who they should meet, why should I? Truthfully, until you are married, your options are open. 

Enjoy life…enjoy finding the right person. Learn from each relationship…getting to know the character of a person, while dating, is crucial to your relationship in the future. If you’re dogged, used, misused and abused in your dating, mostly like you will be if married. Get to know the character of the person of your interests. Don’t try to change them either. You may be able to change the behavior of someone else for a short period of time, but you can’t change who they truly are; only the individual can change that in their own time. If you haven’t met your match, don’t be afraid to move on and explore more opportunities. There is a person out there whose life has naturally formed almost perfectly just for you. Be patient and don’t settle until you find them. 

When you find that ONE, love will be the foundation that will keep you together. Love + friendship will bring you through the storms of life and Love + friendship + God will keep you everlasting. So, get to know the inner-person you’re dating. If it last, be thankful and continue to work on your relationship – don’t easily walk away over small stuff, but if a relationship you enter doesn’t last, examine it to figure out what went wrong and learn from it. It’s okay to walk away…better to walk away now than to have settled into any relationship that will eventually lead to a breakup anyway. 

My desire for young people is that they aren’t pressured into settling and use their experiences to learn from each relationship – forming your own likes and dislikes to be better prepared for the next relationship. That means pay attention to the signs and don’t continue to accept behavior you don’t like from yourself or anyone else. Until you recognize the main issues of yourself, you will continue to choose future partners with similar traits. 

Never forget that until he or she puts a “ring” on it, you’re still single and free so have fun! 

“Mama Said”

From the Web

More on Vibe

Getty Images

Tory Lanez Sued For Alleged Attack In Miami Nightclub

Tory Lanez is facing legal trouble over an alleged altercation that went down inside Miami’s LIV nightclub last year. Christopher “Prince” Harty, an up-and-coming artist and Miami promoter who appeared on Love & Hip-Hop: Miami claims that Lanez attacked him last November.

The onetime reality star alleges that Lanez, along with his entourage and security team, punched and attacked him in the nightclub. According to reports, Prince claims to have suffered blunt force trauma to his head, neck, and chest, in addition to contusions, bruises and anxiety, as a result of the incident. He is suing for unspecified damages.

“They backed me into a corner, and once I was there, they started stomping on me, jumping me,” he recalled to NBC Miami.

He believes that the friction stemmed from an Instagram post about music. “They felt that I was insinuating that they stole the record from me, and I was just like, no, I would never do that, that was never my intention. I had no issue with him at all.”

A portion of the incident was captured on cellphone video. Prince stated that he knew Lanez prior to the run-in, and helped get him into clubs before.

His attorney, Marwan Porter of Porter Law Firm, called the violent incident “a chronic problem” with Lanez who is accused of shooting Megan Thee Stallion in July. The 28-year-old recording artist has yet to publicly address either incident.

Hear more from Prince in the video below.

Continue Reading
Prince Williams/Wireimage via Getty Images

Cardi B Opens Up About Filing For Divorce From Offset

Cardi B took to Instagram Live on Friday (Sept. 18) to air out a few things about filing for divorce from Offset.

The Bronx rapper made it clear that she didn’t file for divorce as a publicity stunt to promote her upcoming album. “I’m not doing it for clout and on top of that I don’t need stunts to sell music,” she said. “I’m not [trying to] brag but don’t ever say I’m doing anything for clout. My first album is three-times platinum and I didn’t need no stunts to do that. My [“Wap”] single is no. 1 worldwide why would I need stunts to sell music? I don’t need stunts — [especially] when it comes to family — to sell anything, so don’t play yourself.”

As for the reason for the divorce filing, the estranged couple simply grew apart. “Nothing crazy out of this world happened, sometimes people really do grow apart. I been with this man for four years. I have a kid with this man, I have a household with this man…sometimes you’re just tired of the arguments and the build up. You get tired sometimes and before something happens, you leave.”

“I just wanna' be a free bird,” Cardi said after questioning whether people secretly want infidelity to be the reason for the split.

“I am the f**king clout,” she added. “I never needed anything. I never needed no stunts to sell sh*t.Why would I need anything to sell my next album?”

Speaking of the new album, Cardi has been indecisive about choosing her next single because “WAP” did so well. “That means that my second single has to be even better.”

Towards the end of her venting session, Cardi reiterated that she’s focusing on her work, and revealed that she's starting new business for her daughter Kulture.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by HIPHOLLYWOOD (@hiphollywood) on Sep 18, 2020 at 10:23pm PDT

Continue Reading
Sean Gallup/Getty Images

Barack Obama Announces Release Date For ‘A Promised Land’ Memoir

Following the mega-success of his wife’s Becoming release, Barack Obama is poised to debut his own memoir, A Promised Land, this fall. The former president made the literary announcement on Twitter on Thursday (Sept. 17).

“There’s no feeling like finishing a book and I’m proud of this one,” Obama tweeted while explaining that he tries to give an “honest account” of his presidency in the book. The release will also touch on “the forces we grapple with as a nation, and how we can heal our division and make democracy work for everybody.”

There’s no feeling like finishing a book, and I’m proud of this one. In 'A Promised Land,' I try to provide an honest accounting of my presidency, the forces we grapple with as a nation, and how we can heal our divisions and make democracy work for everybody. pic.twitter.com/T1QSZVDvOm

— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) September 17, 2020

The highly anticipated and introspective release takes readers on a “compelling journey” and details Obama’s “improbable odyssey from a young man searching for his identity to leader of the free world.” Included in the memoir are striking personal details about his political education, as well as landmark moments from his first term presidency.

The Obamas secured the reported $60 million book deals around a year after ending their tenure in the White House. Michelle Obama’s book became the best-selling memoir in history.

A Promised Land is currently available for pre-order at Obamabook.com. The memoir will be released on Nov. 17.

Continue Reading

Top Stories