Rhymefest’s Blog: The Skank Walk

The other day I found myself in Walgreen’s buying school supplies for my son when out of nowhere in aisle 7B, I noticed a young lady walking toward me with her muffin top poking out, sweat pants on with letters scrolled across the saggy butt spelling out “Sexy” or “Tasty” or something like that. Her hair was half burgundy or purple or some color in the middle. Her face read, “I just stopped giving a fuck,” but beyond all of that, the one major thing that stood out to me was her walk.

It was a kind of side to side, slump waddle that reminded me of so many others that I’ve forgot I’ve seen before. It’s that walk that says, “Yeah you could probably fuck, but you’ll regret it.” It was the walk of pain, self-loathing, low self-esteem and at the same time a call for help. The skank walk. This terminology can be directed toward all races of women, no matter the social class. It is usually used by women to describe another woman who they believe is devious, manipulative and promiscuous. My question today is: Is there any hope for a skank? Can they be counseled, talked to or spiritually awoken out of the skankiness.

In my experience, usually when men try to counsel a skank, they end up having sex with them, which sends them deeper into their belief that nothing matters because no one is genuine. Sophisticated women of regal stature are too repulsed by skanks to mentor or advise them. And usually a skank has a few children who are also raised as skanklings. Skanky women develop their own culture, communities, ways of communicating and yes, even that signature walk that I described.

I’m convinced that like ignorance in hip hop, skanks are here to stay. Here are a few antidotes about how to interact with a skank without stooping to her level or letting their energy invade your day: Skanks don’t understand good customer service, so if you happen to approach a skank at the register, use as few words as possible, speak audibly and firmly, so that she knows you’re in a position of authority and don’t stare her in the eye.

  1. Understand that when a skank is in the area, your man’s hoe-dar senses will go off and he’ll notice her before you do. Don’t be afraid to audibly acknowledge her trifling presence to him so that he realizes the nastiness before his mind starts to wander. If a skank is trying to befriend you, keep it cool, keep her at arm’s length, and don’t give her your phone number or every night you’ll be on the phone for at least an hour and a half listening to her latest man drama and abuse stories.
  2. Skanks are like the zombies in I Am Legend. They usually come out at night, and there are so many of them, it’s easy to be consumed. Be careful out there people.

Rhymefest’s sophomore album, El Che, hits stores today (June 8).

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