Reality TV Recap: Ochocinco Doesn’t Like Sidity Women, TO Faces His Nemesis

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We got treated to a double dose TO. In the first episode, Kita discovered that the man she had been seeing for a year was married. Um, he told her after she finally gave it up to him, which took a year to begin with. (Who does that?) Mo and TO tried to get devastated Kita to look on the bright side, which was that he was working on finalizing his divorce but you know Kita wasn’t having it. TO was also having relationship drama. He was a guest on a Comedy Central sex show where he bantered with comedians about infidelity and having a high libido. The only problem was that Kari was in the audience and didn’t like his jokes so she stormed off the set, leaving their status up in the air.

 

In episode two, Kita and Mo convinced TO to let them find him an assistant. He ended up with an old lady named Ms Rosalyn, who reminded him of his grandmother. At first he wasn’t feeling her because she sonned him by forcing him eat a breakfast that she cooked (pancakes, bacon and eggs), at the table, instead of in front of the TV. Eventually he got into it and decided that he would keep her around. She’ll probably provide some much needed normalcy in is crazy life. He went back to therapy to talk about relationships—romantic and with his teammates—and they got to the root of why his social skills are wonky. He developed his antagonistic personality while growing up, as way to protect himself because his grandmother told him not to let people get over on him (not in those words but that’s the just of it). Her advice worked too well. What he learned in therapy was tested at a Joes vs Pros game where he would be playing basketball along side his long time nemesis, Donovan McNabb. Kita and Mo were worried but surprisingly they got along well and acted as if nothing had ever happened. However, his relationship with Kari, once again, didn’t go too well. They decided to call it quits for the umpteenth time. She’ll probably be back before the series ends.

 

Ochocino did the group date thing again and took all ladies to the beach. He got the bright idea to play football with the women but none of those prissy broads knew how to catch. Then again, they’re not on the show to learn how to play, they’re trying to snag a baller. Ochocinco decided to take Tiphani and Brittany on a shopping date but the most interesting part (because those girls were about as exciting as a picnic cloth) was a dinner conversation about sex. Apparently, Ochocinco calls his man parts, “Russle the Love Muscle,” which is so incredibly corny that it’s endearing. His second date was toned down a lot compared to what he had been doing for the other girls (private jets, etc). He took April and Laurice to the Laundromat. Bourgieous Laurice got extra stank because she wanted to be pampered but Ochocino’s theory was that he wanted a woman who could do the elaborate stuff but also the simple things. Laurice’s attitude proved that she couldn’t hang (and that she was potentially a high maintenance gold digger). She wasn’t happy until the end of the date, when Ochocinco blessed the two ladies with silver necklaces (just for the heck of it). Meanwhile, April just came off as a chatterbox who tried too hard. In the end, neither woman made the cut. Ochocino dropped them both and kept the two women from the other date, which changed up the bracket system because he had to send Brittany to the red team to make things even again. The women weren’t thrilled because it forced them to reevaluate their new competition but it looks like next week, they’re going to turn the cattyness up a few notches.