Kid Fury’s Blog: High Fashion Vs. Hot Mess
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Lady Gaga is such an intriguing creature. The woman is a complete freak of nature and yet I have still found her charming enough to spend my hard-earned doubloons on her albums rather than playing patty-cake with Limewire. It is astounding to me how this pop star can randomly scream, cry and dress up like a porkchop sandwich only to have millions of “little monsters” fist-pump to the beat of her crackhead drum.
That was admirable before, but now I feel that Gaga is doing way too much with her image. How many other artists could walk around in public looking like an expensive crime-fighting version of Kat Stacks and be accepted?
If Beyoncé wore a House of Dereon Andouille sausage corset, would you call her a visionary? These wacky “fashion” tricks are clearly a major treat for publicity — if you stripped it all away, you’d have Britney Stefani Aguilera III.
Now for all of you non-celebrity kids out there, we need to have a discussion because I love you. There is a major difference between being high fashion and just plain high. It breaks my heart to see some of you throw on a bunch of shit you found in a thrift store bin, stuff your feet in some $300 shoes, and hit the club like you’re Rihanna or Kanye — find a balance. Wearing a bowtie, a scarf, two gold chains, a blazer, a trucker hat, skinny jeans, and combat boots is NOT haute couture…it’s hot mess.
Sticking a bunch of jellybeans and candy hearts on safety goggles does not make you avant garde…it’s makes you a retard. I may not be as wise as Anna Wintour and I don’t spout a river of sweet designer pussy juice like J. Alexander, but I know a fashion tragedy when I see one. There are plenty of ways to keep your look fly and fresh, without looking like a Christmas tree. I say this because I care.
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