Holdin’ You Down: The Circle of Insanity


Why can’t I find somebody else/When I know/Know that you’re doing wrong/It’s so hard/ Hard to let go…

Picking up where Melonie Fiona’s “It Kills Me” left off, Jazmine Sullivan’s latest banger, “Circles (Holdin’ You Down),” also deals with a troubling cycle many women are caught in when it comes to bad relationships—what I refer to as the “circle of insanity.” For, if one definition of insanity is when we the same thing over and over and expect different results, the idea of leaving and then coming back to someone who treats you terribly could be considered at least slightly insane. Not knocking the song (hence the word banger), yet the lyrics in “Circles” depict the type of irrational thinking some women use in these situations.

Chances are you have a friend or family member, or you may even be, in a toxic relationship with a man. And while the idea of a good relationship is subjective, if you are staying in a relationship that is obviously unhealthy, the question is, why? No relationship is perfect. However, if you are dealing with things such as constant infidelity, lies, disrespect, physical or verbal abuse, yet you find it hard to leave, you could be going in the “circle of insanity.”


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