Shawnna Comes Clean: Not Talking To Luda, T-Pain, And The Secret She Kept From Everyone
How did you avoid that conversation?
I came back home and cut everything off. I just wanted to be with my family... that's how I dealt with it. I think he and I were both kinda too hurt to even pick up the phone and call each other. We ain't even know what to say. So, I kinda just let everything play it self out.
Do you regret not speaking to him one-on-one?
I do. But I know a time will come when we can talk. Everything happens for a reason, so it wasn't time yet. I definitely don't want it to be ugly.
Were you embarrassed to approach him even after months passed?
I was. It was very embarrassing.
To be clear, your decision to leave The Battle Of The Sexes project was 100% on you?
Yeah, I walked on the project. That's another reason Luda was really, really hurt. But I was dealing with a demon. It was really driving me low into the ground. I was stressed out. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think. I said I can't do it.
So did you just have your phone off 24 hours a day?
It was kinda like that, I just disappeared. And honestly to really tell you the truth... I had another baby. I found out I was pregnant, and then I was like, 'I can't get on stage with this big belly and rock out and do videos and stuff.' I don't like the industry and media being a part of my personal life, but people really need to make it add up. Between me not feeling 100% sure of the success of it and then finding out I was have a baby... yeah. I don't even think Luda knows [about my baby.] But he knows now.
Wow, how old is your baby now?
She'll be seven months on the 17th. And I'm not the type to show off my baby and be like look at me now. My own dad didn't know about my baby until after she was born. Finding out I was pregnant, the stress of that project... it was all just a lot for me. I didn't tell nobody. I just had to get away.
How did T-Pain come into play?
We had always been really cool. So he was there for me when the shit started to hit the fan and everybody started going crazy on me. Like, all of the worst things that coulda been said were said and I wasn't used to that. So, he was my back up. He was like, 'You know I'm down for you. If you really wanna do this, we can do this.' He's another artist who really believes in my talent. Creatively, Nappy Boy really lets you go your own route. His thing is, if you believe in it, put it out.
That's dope. You mentioned working on a mixtape with Twista. Are you in album mode at all yet?
It's definitely coming. I just know now in these days you gotta build your hype online and put out a lot of mixtapes. So I'm putting my concentration there for now.
True. How do you feel Nicki Minaj has been holding down the femcee fort?
You know what, I don't know why she gets so much hate because at first it was like 'Where are the female rappers?' Then all of a sudden Nicki came giving us bars, delivery, animation and it's like people want to hate that. I don't hate that. She came and took over and every feature they gave her, she held her weight, and I appreciate that. As far as me being a female artist, I appreciate that because, for a minute, they wasn't giving us a chance. All they wanted us to be on was these strip club records or a feature on your sexy song and that's it. Now, it's like we are a force to be reckoned with. We spittin!
What would you say has been the hardest and most rewarding part of your experience as a female rapper?
This is what sets me apart from other female artists... It's nothing to do with my lyricism, it's nothing to do with my look, it's the fact that I'm a mother. I have kids so have to be mom, and the hardest thing is to miss first teeth growing in and missed first steps and missed Christmas recitals, but the most rewarding thing is you can move them to the best neighborhoods and put them in the best schools and give them everything they deserve. So all I ask from God now is guidance to be the best mother I can be, but to also be embraced in this game again.