donaldtrumpeating_ice_cream donaldtrumpeating_ice_cream

Kid Fury's Blog: 10 Things Donald Trump Should Really Worry About

While Donald Trump’s vagina squirted with glee after Barack Obama released his birth certificate, a bouquet of far more important issues remained in the air. The Celebrity Apprentice host and overall rich douchebag feels that he successfully forced The President to prove that he was born in the U.S. after extensive bickering. 

So now that their pointless game is over, I’d like for Donny and that possum wig to turn their attention to a few subjects that are clearly more crucial to our society:

1.  The fact that gas prices are higher than pterodactyl coochie. I’m already making plans to open a brothel and raise funds towards a pack mule and a sensible pair of rollerblades. 

2. The world is dropping natural disasters and taking lives every other month. By the way, I still haven’t heard a sensible explanation for all those birds that fell out of the sky in January. 

3. What is buried deep within Nene Leakes’ new nose and was it born in the United States? 

4. Men and women are still overseas fighting some war that most people would agree is senseless, when they should be over doing The Wobble with their loved ones! 

5. Cops are running around punching women in IHOP and disturbing the Belgian Waffle rotation. Be concerned with that!

6. School officials are being laid off left and right, while kids turn to and MediaTakeOut for knowledge.

7. Will Kat Stacks ever be shipped back to Bermuda, Lake Titicaca, or wherever the hell she’s from?

8. Where is the “Put In A Love Song” video that Alicia Keys and Beyoncé shot like 8 years ago?

9. John McCain was born in The Panama Canal Zone, which used to be an “unorganized US territory”...a.k.a. Stranger Bitch Heights. I’m sure nobody would have asked for his papers though.

10. Who does Trump really think he’s fooling with that Marsupilami ass lacefront?

Catch Kid Fury's blogs on every Thursday. Check out his Website and YouTube page, and follow him on Twitter at @KidFury.

From the Web

More on Vibe

Getty Images

Cardi B Comments On Government Shutdown: "Our Country Is In A Hellhole"

Cardi B wanted to give her two cents on the now-25 day partial government shutdown. The Grammy-nominated rapper got political on her Instagram page, stating that she believes our country is in a "Hellhole" and she feels terribly for those affected.

"It’s been a little bit over three weeks. Trump is now ordering, as in summoning, federal government workers to go back to work without getting paid," she said. Cardi continued by telling people not to drag former President Barack Obama's partial government shutdown into the conversation, as his shutdown was for a better reason than Trump's dream border wall.

"Now, I don't want to hear any of y'all motherf**kas talkin' 'bout, 'Oh, but Obama shut down the government for 17 days,' Yeah, b***h! For healthcare!" she continued. "So your grandma could check her blood pressure and you b****es could go check y'all p***y at the gynecologist with no motherf**kin' problem. This sh*t is really f**kin' serious, bro. This sh*t is crazy. Like, our country is in a hellhole right now. All for a f**kin' wall."

The Invasion of Privacy MC continues by stating that she is "scared" and feels badly for those who aren't able to be compensated for their work.

"Now, I now a lot of y’all don’t care…  b***h I’m scared," she concludes. "This is crazy, and I really feel bad for these people that gotta go to f**kin' work without getting f**kin' paid."

Watch her comments below.


View this post on Instagram


I know a lot of ya do r watch the news so I’m letting ya know shit getting real .....I ain’t going to say nothing much tho I don’t want mofos to off me.....ANYWAYS TWERK VIDEO OUT NOW

A post shared by CARDIVENOM (@iamcardib) on Jan 16, 2019 at 2:41pm PST

Continue Reading
Getty Images

R. Kelly's Former Manager Will Reportedly Surrender To Georgia Police For Threats Towards Savage Family

James Mason, R. Kelly’s former manager who is being accused of sending terrorizing, threatening text messages to the father of one of Kelly’s accusers, is reportedly surrendering to Georgia authorities.

According to The Blast, Mason will surrender in Henry County, Ga. on Wednesday (Jan. 16) after a judge issued a warrant for his arrest, citing “terroristic threats and acts.” A police report obtained by the site states that Mason told Timothy Savage, the father of Kelly’s alleged cult member Jocelyn Savage, that he was going to “f**king kill” him when he saw him, and that he was going to harm him and his family.

A second manager for Kelly, Don Russell, is also reportedly under investigation for allegedly harassing and threatening the Savage family for participating in the six-part docu-series, Surviving R. Kelly. 

Mr. Savage was reportedly texted by Mr. Russell, who said it would “be best for him and his family if the documentary [Surviving R. Kelly] does not air." During a phone call that was put on speaker, Russell reportedly threatened to reveal information about Mr. Savage if he did not pull out of the doc.

Kelly is under investigation in both Georgia and Illinois, which is reportedly a direct response to the allegations made in the Lifetime docu-series.

Continue Reading
Getty Images

Porn Site Condemns Users After Searches For R. Kelly's Sex Tape Increase

Searches for the infamous sex tape recorded by R. Kelly and featuring a minor has seen an uptick, and a porn site is condemning its users from trying to find it, because child pornography is illegal.

According to The Blast, porn site xHamster reportedly said that searches for the term ‘R. Kelly’ are up 388 percent since the beginning of January. Of course, this coincides with the release of the six-part Lifetime docu-series, Surviving R. Kelly, which chronicles over 20 years of indecent and immoral behavior towards teenage girls and women.

The site noted that they do not have the infamous tape that involves the controversial musician having sex with and urinating on an underage girl, nor will they ever carry it and other videos like it on their site.

“The R. Kelly tape is not on xHamster, nor would we ever allow it to be,” representatives for the site told The Blast. “Regardless of the news or sensation, a tape featuring underaged is both illegal and immoral.” xHamster also says they will be “disabling searches and putting up messages alerting any searches that the content is not acceptable.”

One of the messages on the site says “Please consider that in searching for and viewing such content, you may be re-victimizing a minor who could not consent.”

Continue Reading

Top Stories