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Rock With A Belle! Demetria Lucas Talks 'A Belle In Brooklyn,' Gives Advice For Dating And Relationships

Relationship expert Demetria Lucas authored the much-needed and aniticpated book of her personal dating tales titled A Belle in Brooklyn: A Single: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. In the post-Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man years, it's reassuring to have a female pen something very honest and true to navigating the maze of relationships from a woman's perspective. Flipping through the pages of Belle's diary (or at least it seems like it), Vixens can find a reflection of themselves in some fashion. VIBE Vixen decided to catch up with DL on her book tour to talk specifics about her journey through the throes of passion, love and lust, as well as get her to drop some dating knowledge on us single girls! -Niki McGloster (@missjournalism)




VIBE VIXEN: What has the ride been like penning your first book?
DEMETRIA LUCAS:
It has been whole lot of hard work. This is the most I ever put into doing something in my entire life. When you do features, it’s like 1,500 to 2,500 words and you can knock that out fairly quickly if you need to, but the process to write a book? That’s about 85,000 words. Writing that much and editing at that volume is pretty intense. People always say writing a book is like having a baby, but this is the most intense process. I really feel like I set something into the Earth, but I am super proud of that.

Did you have to force yourself to sit down or did the writing come to you? I know many of these are specific stories of life experiences, so I imagine it would be easier than writing fiction.
No, I didn’t have to force myself to write; it was finding the time to sit down and write. A lot of the book, at least the first draft of it, was written in my Blackberry on the train going to and from work, so I definitely had to make the time. You would think that writing about my life is easy than doing a whole bunch of research, but I put a lot of it out there in the book. I talk about heartbreak, and I talk about some traumatic events; I really wanted people to go there with me [and] that took a lot emotionally out of me.

How did it feel to revisit those emotions especially the night with Dakar and Greg? Did you cry or find yourself shying away from revisiting those emotions as you were writing that part?
I don’t want to give too much away for those who didn’t read the book, but I dealt with that situation in an unconventional way. When I was writing this passage, I realized it was the hardest to write for obvious reasons, [and] I went back to behaving the way I had for so many years before I had the opportunity to confront the issue. In the sense, I usually go out and roam around looking for a party or a club, and if no one wants to go, I’ll go on my own. But I found myself wanting to be around people, wanting to be safe and protected. My mother didn’t think I should include this because she didn’t want me to relive it and people to constantly ask me about it. When I used to tell that story, I never met a woman who didn’t have a story of their own. It’s almost like a very sad and unfortunate rite of womanhood that she had been in a situation where some guy had forced himself on you in varying degrees, so I felt that it was important to talk about. This is a book for women, and this is something women have to deal with.

As a woman, I definitely appreciate your raw honesty. Are there any rules, similar to that common three-month sex rule, that you can offer to women? Some you didn't include in the book?
You should date men through seasons in order to get to know them. I know a lot of women say, 'We’ve been dating for three months and he doesn’t know where its going.' Well, that’s because you don’t know him. In three months, everyone is still in the great representative phase; somewhere around day 91 is when they start to get real. You should try to determine his character and that can be determined during times of adversities. You need to find someone you like, get to know them and see how they are when their money isn’t right or they are having issues with their childrens' mom. To get to know people, take like six months. Another thing is: Women stop asking men what they do. To ask a man doesn’t say anything about who they are; it’s just what they do. Most men, whether they are broke or a baller, expect to be the breadwinner in a relationship. Now whether that is actually going to happen or not is a whole other story. He expects to be able to bring something to the table and to provide for his spouse or his lady. What your expectations are in a relationship don’t translate to men because that isn’t what they are looking for.

What are your thoughts on a woman being the breadwinner in a relationship, do you believe that it totally switches the gender roles in a sense?
It can. I was just reading another really great book about relationships for an interview I was working on. It was talking about how in black relationships, women are the providers. It makes sense because black women obtain college degrees at a rate much higher than men. It can change gender roles. Money in a lot of relationships equates to control. When women make a little bit of money, they want to run wild, [and] men recognize that they have no control when it comes to money, so they try to clamp down in other ways, so it can get a little ugly. If you do want to be with someone and you make more, do not allow money to be the thing that tears you apart. You have to sit down and discuss the expectations especially if you are married, you have to think in terms of us, our money, we, etcetera.

Have you found that there can be a functional A-B hybrid man? [Ed. note: Demetria's theory on A and B type of men can be found in the book.]

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Stockton Launches Basic Income Program Gifting Residents With $500 A Month

Stockton, California has launched its basic income plan gifting dozens of residents with $500 a month, the Huffington Post reports.

Last year, Stockton Mayor Michael Tubbs responded to criticism over the program which was designed to help close the poverty gap as residents struggle to stay afloat amid California's skyrocketing rent prices and increase in homelessness.

The basic income plan -- the first of its kind to be launched by a U.S. city -- was announced by Tubbs and the Stockton Economic Empowerment Demonstration (SEED) in 2017. Under the program, 130 residents will receive a monthly stipend via prepaid debit cards for the next 18 months.

Exciting! Congrats to the team, the city, and to the recipients. We’ve learned so much getting to this point and I am looking forward to learning more. Stockton lead the way @stocktondemo #ReinventStockton https://t.co/j2OPkA4zG8

— Michael Tubbs (@MichaelDTubbs) February 15, 2019

Stockton's median household income is just under $50,000 a year. Residents are chosen through an “algorithm” to make sure that the selection is representative of the community’s diversity.

The money is funded by a grant from the Economic Security Project, in addition to other funds raised, Tubbs said.

“There’s no restriction on how people can use the money,” he pointed out. “If people use it for drugs and alcohol that’s there prerogative. [But] if I didn’t believe in the capacity of the folks who elected me to make good decisions, I probably shouldn’t be mayor.”

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Alabama Newspaper Editor Calls On KKK To Lynch Democrats In Washington D.C.

The editor of a failing Alabama newspaper made news after he penned an editorial pleading for the KKK to “night ride again.” Goodloe Sutton, editor and publisher of the Democrat-Reporter, a small weekly paper in Linden, Ala., doubled down on his racism in an interview Monday (Feb. 18).

"If we could get the Klan to go up there and clean out D.C., we'd all been better off," he told the Montgomery Advertiser. "We'll get the hemp ropes out, loop them over a tall limb and hang all of them.”

Sutton added that he’s not asking for “Americans”  to be lynched. “These are socialist-communists we’re talking about.” He also compared the KKK to the NAACP. “They didn’t kill but a few people. The Klan wasn’t violent until they need to be.”

In his editorial, Sutton lashed out against Democrats in the Republican party for “plotting to raise taxes in Alabama.”

“They do not understand how to eliminate expenses when money is needed in other areas,” he wrote. “The socialist-communist ideology sounds good to the ignorant, the uneducated, and the simple-minded people.”

Later in the piece Sutton put a bird call out to the KKK. “If you haven’t noticed, they did away with the draft so their sons would not have to go into battle. Seems like the Klan would be welcome to raid the gated communities up there.

Sutton’s editorial is obviously catching backlash and calls for his resignation. The Alabama Press Association’s Board of Director’s condemned Sutton and suspended the newspaper’s membership. Auburn University’s Journalism Advisory Council voted to revoke his award in community journalism and the University of Southern Mississippi took him off their Journalism Hall of Fame.

Sutton's paper is doing so badly that he was forced to move the publication to an old barbecue restaurant. This new round of publicity could officially put the paper out of its misery.

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Khloe Kardashian Splits With Tristan Thompson, Confirms Latest Cheating Rumor

Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson are reportedly done amid reports that the NBA player cheated on her with her little sister’s best friend, Jordyn Woods.

According to Hollywood Unlocked, and multiple other reports, Thompson and Woods were spotted getting extra close during a party last weekend. Apparently, Woods stayed with Thompson until the next morning.

Thompson tweeted “FAKE NEWS” in response to the story, but he later deleted the post. Woods, meanwhile, turned off the comments on her Instagram account.

Kardashian confirmed the rumor with a comment on Instagram.

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#KhloeKardashian confirms our story. We got you Khloe! 🙏🏼

A post shared by HOLLYWOOD UNLOCKED (@hollywoodunlocked) on Feb 19, 2019 at 2:15pm PST

Kardashian found out  about the cheating story on Monday (Feb. 18), People magazine reports.  “The whole family is furious,” said an alleged source. “They were blindsided.”

The 34-year -old reality star shares an infant daughter with Thompson. The couple dated for nearly three years, but cheating scandals are nothing new for the Cleveland Cavaliers player who cheated on Kardashian while she was pregnant with their daughter.

Thompson and his son’s mother, Jordan Craig, split while she was pregnant with their son. Thompson began dating Kardashian soon after.

 

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