Morning After Morning After

After The Morning After

It’s morning. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping. You roll over to get just five more minutes of sleep. Then, you notice the unfamiliar texture of the pillow against your face. And the bed doesn’t quite feel like your bed either…oh damn…

Last night’s mischief and mayhem come quickly back to the forefront of your memory. There was a party, some drinks, some dancing…a lot of dancing, some flirting…a lot of flirting…and here you are. In a stranger’s bed.

And now comes the proverbial “walk of shame”…but it doesn’t have to be that way. While it may be awkward to face the morning light wearing last night’s club dress (especially if it’s Sunday and others are heading to church), beating yourself up about what happened isn’t going to make things better.

The first thing you want to do is run back through the night’s events and make sure as best you can that you chose to have this little rendezvous. If you struggle to remember how you got there and what happen after you arrived, you may have either been drugged or drank far too much. If things are not adding up, don’t hesitate to call a crisis center to help you sort through your concerns once you are safely out of the house.

You also need to confirm that you used protection. Don’t take his word for it; check for evidence. If you aren’t sure that you did, then you should immediately schedule a visit to a local hospital or clinic for a battery of exams (some areas offer vaccines for certain STIs). You should also consider the ‘morning after pill’, which is readily available at most drugstores now. That will run you about $50-60, so don’t hesitate to ask the gentleman of the night to share the cost with you.

Don’t wake up acting like you have a new boyfriend, even if you really are hoping to see this guy again. You have no idea where his head is at now or where it was when he brought you home. Chances are, it was focused more on lust than anything else. That doesn’t mean he’s gonna hate you or think you’re a slut, but you should proceed with caution.

Hopefully, the guy you hooked up with is a respectable enough cat to offer you coffee, a pair of sweats to wear home if you aren’t driving and help with transportation arrangements. Unfortunately, if you didn’t know him well prior to the hookup, then you have no way of knowing how he’s going to behave…which is one of the many reasons that going home with a relative stranger can be dangerous. If he’s less than amicable, get your stuff and get out of his house ASAPtually. And don’t return.

A one night stand can be a nightmare (you catch something or leave something at his house and can’t retrieve it or he’s just God awful in bed), a fairytale (it’s rare, but rapid hookups have led to relationships for some…just don’t ever go into one hoping for that outcome) or, for most, simply a night of sex followed by a less than glamorous trek home.

Speaking of, there is little you can do if you have to walk through your building’s lobby in a sequined halter at 10 AM; people may accurately guess where you’ve been. So what? Leave ole boy’s house looking as kempt and clean as possible and hold your head high. Much of the “shame” in the walk comes from carrying yourself like some sort of guilty convict! Grab a pair of shades and some ibuprofen and keep it moving. You didn’t kill anyone. You had sex. And hopefully, you liked it.

If you had a good time, then more power to you! However, not everyone feels the same way after completing a one-night-extravaganza. You can’t hate yourself for your choice, but you are also not doomed to repeat it if the scenario didn’t suit your fancy. Make sure that you keep your wits about you when going out drinking or partying. Also, if you feel that the temptation for you to go home with someone is great, yet you feel terrible about yourself the next day…don’t do it. Sex isn’t some cool kids club that requires you to be open for everything and at anytime. Some people are casual lovers, others need some security and commitment before going to bed. Remain loyal to whatever keeps you safe and happy.

From the Web

More on Vibe

Tommaso Boddi/Getty Images)

Kelly Rowland Says Her Highly-Anticipated Project Is "Definitely Coming"

Six years ago, Kelly Rowland released her fourth studio album titled Talk a Good Game. The project boasted hit singles like "Kisses Down Low" and the transparent "Dirty Laundry." Now, the Houston native is preparing to release a project that'll surely satisfy fans' patient earbuds.

In an interview with Billboard, Rowland shared her hopes for putting out a new body of work and the pressure that she's encountered since she's been in the studio. "This is by far the longest, most pressure-filled process ever, only because I know what it's supposed to be and I have been so hard on myself. I know it," she said. "And it's the first time I've said it out loud. I've been extremely hard on myself. But it's definitely coming, and I'm more so excited about this project than anything else."

The news follows the recent release of Rowland's "Kelly" track, which was met with critical acclaim in November 2018. In addition to preparing the release of new music, the "Motivation" singer discussed fans' wish for a Destiny's Child reunion. The rumors have been fueled by social media photographs of Rowland with either Beyonce or Michelle or all three, especially during Beyonce's past Coachella performance. But Rowland assures readers that it's not what they think.

"It's so funny. I guess every time people see us together, they just see music but I see sisterhood, and that's what we are and that's what me, her, Michelle [Williams] and Solange and I are. People see us all together, they immediately think music. I'm like, no. Just family." As Rowland previously mentioned Solange, she hopes to one day work with her again.

"I'm a huge fan," she said. "I love her writing and how detailed and particular she is. I always wanted to figure out how the heck she has so many different layers of harmonies when she is constructing these vocals, and it's so complex but simple. It's genius. It's the genius in her genius mind that she has in there." One of the last times the pair collaborated was on Rowland's "Simply Deep" track off her debut solo album of the same name. Solange also penned a few songs off the same project. Fast forward to 2016, and Rowland's vocals were featured on Solange's iconic A Seat at the Table.

Continue Reading
Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images

Teyana Taylor To Pay Homage To Ballroom Culture In "WTP" Video

Teyana Taylor aims to keep her hot streak of innovative videos coming thanks to this recent announcement. Taking to Instagram on Wednesday (Jan. 9), the "Gonna Love Me" singer will show adoration to ballroom culture in the visual for "WTP."

Directed by Gregory "Beef" Jones, The Aunties Inc., and Taylor herself, the Harlemite takes viewers on her journey to the expression-filled space where she hopes to rack up 10s across the board from a group of judges. The premise of the video also seems to follow a mockumentary format airing on a fictional network named FEMTV. Alongside Taylor, other men and women get ready to display their talents and confidence on the ballroom floor.

"WTP" is featured on the mother-of-one's sophomore album, K.T.S.E., which was released in June 2018. While the rollout's controversy didn't entirely muddle the excitement behind the project's debut, Taylor said she was sold on the idea that her album would be treated as the biggest out of G.O.O.D. Music's string of releases last year.

"I didn't know ahead of time that there wouldn't be any singles or visuals. But I knew that it was going to be the five-album thing," she said during a HOT 97 interview. "[Kanye] wanted [my album] to be last, he wanted mine to be the biggest. That's the way they sauced it up. I was sold."

The video will debut on Jan. 19. Check out the teaser below.


View this post on Instagram


👀 1.19.19 👀 #WTP Directed by @teyanataylor & @ogbeefjones @theauntiesinc 🙏🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾 The wait is ALMOST over. 😏 @museumofsex

A post shared by Jimmy Neutch- Shumpert (@teyanataylor) on Jan 8, 2019 at 6:32pm PST

Continue Reading
Getty Images

Trina Braxton’s Ex-Husband, Gabe Solis, Dies After Battle With Cancer

Gabe Solis, the ex-husband of Trina Braxton, lost his battle with cancer, Thursday (Dec. 20),  TMZ reports. He was 43.

Solis passed away at his home in Texas, surrounded by friends and family, according to the outlet. No official details have been released about his passing.

Solis had reportedly been keeping his cancer battle private. His death came as a shock to his loved ones. On Friday (Dec. 21), Braxton seemingly mourned the loss of her ex-husband with a cryptic Instagram meme reading, “I need a hug..E bottle of wine.”

The former couple tied the knot in 2003, and appeared together on previous seasons of WEtv’s Braxton Family Values. Despite finalizing their divorce in 2015, Braxton and Solis confronted lingering issues from their marriage during an episode of Iyanla: Fix My Life, earlier in the year.

Braxton has since moved on to a new relationship, but remained friends with Solis.


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by Trina Braxton (@trinabraxton1) on Dec 21, 2018 at 9:49am PST

READ MORE: Phaedra Parks To Join 'Braxton Family Values' Cast

Continue Reading

Top Stories