After The Morning After


It’s morning. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping. You roll over to get just five more minutes of sleep. Then, you notice the unfamiliar texture of the pillow against your face. And the bed doesn’t quite feel like your bed either…oh damn…

Last night’s mischief and mayhem come quickly back to the forefront of your memory. There was a party, some drinks, some dancing…a lot of dancing, some flirting…a lot of flirting…and here you are. In a stranger’s bed.

And now comes the proverbial “walk of shame”…but it doesn’t have to be that way. While it may be awkward to face the morning light wearing last night’s club dress (especially if it’s Sunday and others are heading to church), beating yourself up about what happened isn’t going to make things better.

The first thing you want to do is run back through the night’s events and make sure as best you can that you chose to have this little rendezvous. If you struggle to remember how you got there and what happen after you arrived, you may have either been drugged or drank far too much. If things are not adding up, don’t hesitate to call a crisis center to help you sort through your concerns once you are safely out of the house.

You also need to confirm that you used protection. Don’t take his word for it; check for evidence. If you aren’t sure that you did, then you should immediately schedule a visit to a local hospital or clinic for a battery of exams (some areas offer vaccines for certain STIs). You should also consider the ‘morning after pill’, which is readily available at most drugstores now. That will run you about $50-60, so don’t hesitate to ask the gentleman of the night to share the cost with you.

Don’t wake up acting like you have a new boyfriend, even if you really are hoping to see this guy again. You have no idea where his head is at now or where it was when he brought you home. Chances are, it was focused more on lust than anything else. That doesn’t mean he’s gonna hate you or think you’re a slut, but you should proceed with caution.

Hopefully, the guy you hooked up with is a respectable enough cat to offer you coffee, a pair of sweats to wear home if you aren’t driving and help with transportation arrangements. Unfortunately, if you didn’t know him well prior to the hookup, then you have no way of knowing how he’s going to behave…which is one of the many reasons that going home with a relative stranger can be dangerous. If he’s less than amicable, get your stuff and get out of his house ASAPtually. And don’t return.

A one night stand can be a nightmare (you catch something or leave something at his house and can’t retrieve it or he’s just God awful in bed), a fairytale (it’s rare, but rapid hookups have led to relationships for some…just don’t ever go into one hoping for that outcome) or, for most, simply a night of sex followed by a less than glamorous trek home.

Speaking of, there is little you can do if you have to walk through your building’s lobby in a sequined halter at 10 AM; people may accurately guess where you’ve been. So what? Leave ole boy’s house looking as kempt and clean as possible and hold your head high. Much of the “shame” in the walk comes from carrying yourself like some sort of guilty convict! Grab a pair of shades and some ibuprofen and keep it moving. You didn’t kill anyone. You had sex. And hopefully, you liked it.

If you had a good time, then more power to you! However, not everyone feels the same way after completing a one-night-extravaganza. You can’t hate yourself for your choice, but you are also not doomed to repeat it if the scenario didn’t suit your fancy. Make sure that you keep your wits about you when going out drinking or partying. Also, if you feel that the temptation for you to go home with someone is great, yet you feel terrible about yourself the next day…don’t do it. Sex isn’t some cool kids club that requires you to be open for everything and at anytime. Some people are casual lovers, others need some security and commitment before going to bed. Remain loyal to whatever keeps you safe and happy.