Stop Asking Stop Asking

Stop Asking Why Doesn't He Love Me

Memories are things that should never leave us; good or bad, they stay stuck in our heads on constant repeat. However sitting around trying to find the answers to questions like, “Why doesn’t he love me” is not going to make your situation any better.

Memories should reflect a part to the soundtrack of your life where you can just skip to your favorite song and smile. In life, we all have our favorite albums we like to listen and we all have those songs we just have to play over and over. These memories shouldn’t be painless to forget.

When in a relationship, everyone is committed. That’s understood. Among friends, they always want to know his or her place when you are dating someone. Frankly, that hierarchy would never be balanced. Now once that relationship is over, you should not have any problem politely putting your ex out of the car and moving along. All the privileges and special things should become obsolete. Trust, I’m a fan of benefits in relationships, even friends with benefits. If you’re in a relationship, why shouldn’t the person you’re with feel special? And hopefully vice versa.

I use this same methodology when it comes to dating. I’m not going to pull out all of the bells and whistles at the beginning. What for? No, you can’t stay the night. No, you don’t have to text or call me all hours of the day. What’s going to change if we actually decide to get in a relationship? Nothing. I’m not searching for the greatest show on earth. I’m just looking to learn more about you. Keep all the fireworks and the woman jumping out the cannon for the fantasy circus my heart doesn’t live in. Don’t send in the clowns.

Now I don’t want you to think having weak moments are a sign of defeat. We all get weak. Making a phone call might seem like the perfect place to begin the journey; but it is not. Sometimes we have those memories that linger on but we cannot forget. If you do not have anything positive you can reminisce about from your last relationship and smile, just be grateful you two are broken up. I can admit to sitting in my room and thinking about all the special moments I’ve experienced in past relationships. But at the end of the day I know those days are over.

Move on.

There is no way to find true love when we’re constantly looking behind. If you’re finished be finished. There is no reason to constantly check to see what’s going on with past relationships and even wasted late night stained sheets. Moving on is only as hard as moving on. Sometimes we block the opportunity of getting to know someone because we’re still trying to focus on the past. We all deserve more in life. We only betray ourselves at the end by taking our hearts back into doors that were closed and block others from entering.

Drew-Shane Daniels is a Philadelphia based writer who offers his two cents on pop culture, lifestyle, sexuality and entertainment. His work has been featured on Global Grind, Soul Train and Clutch Magazine. You can also follow him on Twitter @drewshane.

From the Web

More on Vibe

Tommaso Boddi/Getty Images)

Kelly Rowland Says Her Highly-Anticipated Project Is "Definitely Coming"

Six years ago, Kelly Rowland released her fourth studio album titled Talk a Good Game. The project boasted hit singles like "Kisses Down Low" and the transparent "Dirty Laundry." Now, the Houston native is preparing to release a project that'll surely satisfy fans' patient earbuds.

In an interview with Billboard, Rowland shared her hopes for putting out a new body of work and the pressure that she's encountered since she's been in the studio. "This is by far the longest, most pressure-filled process ever, only because I know what it's supposed to be and I have been so hard on myself. I know it," she said. "And it's the first time I've said it out loud. I've been extremely hard on myself. But it's definitely coming, and I'm more so excited about this project than anything else."

The news follows the recent release of Rowland's "Kelly" track, which was met with critical acclaim in November 2018. In addition to preparing the release of new music, the "Motivation" singer discussed fans' wish for a Destiny's Child reunion. The rumors have been fueled by social media photographs of Rowland with either Beyonce or Michelle or all three, especially during Beyonce's past Coachella performance. But Rowland assures readers that it's not what they think.

"It's so funny. I guess every time people see us together, they just see music but I see sisterhood, and that's what we are and that's what me, her, Michelle [Williams] and Solange and I are. People see us all together, they immediately think music. I'm like, no. Just family." As Rowland previously mentioned Solange, she hopes to one day work with her again.

"I'm a huge fan," she said. "I love her writing and how detailed and particular she is. I always wanted to figure out how the heck she has so many different layers of harmonies when she is constructing these vocals, and it's so complex but simple. It's genius. It's the genius in her genius mind that she has in there." One of the last times the pair collaborated was on Rowland's "Simply Deep" track off her debut solo album of the same name. Solange also penned a few songs off the same project. Fast forward to 2016, and Rowland's vocals were featured on Solange's iconic A Seat at the Table.

Continue Reading
Gabe Ginsberg/Getty Images

Teyana Taylor To Pay Homage To Ballroom Culture In "WTP" Video

Teyana Taylor aims to keep her hot streak of innovative videos coming thanks to this recent announcement. Taking to Instagram on Wednesday (Jan. 9), the "Gonna Love Me" singer will show adoration to ballroom culture in the visual for "WTP."

Directed by Gregory "Beef" Jones, The Aunties Inc., and Taylor herself, the Harlemite takes viewers on her journey to the expression-filled space where she hopes to rack up 10s across the board from a group of judges. The premise of the video also seems to follow a mockumentary format airing on a fictional network named FEMTV. Alongside Taylor, other men and women get ready to display their talents and confidence on the ballroom floor.

"WTP" is featured on the mother-of-one's sophomore album, K.T.S.E., which was released in June 2018. While the rollout's controversy didn't entirely muddle the excitement behind the project's debut, Taylor said she was sold on the idea that her album would be treated as the biggest out of G.O.O.D. Music's string of releases last year.

"I didn't know ahead of time that there wouldn't be any singles or visuals. But I knew that it was going to be the five-album thing," she said during a HOT 97 interview. "[Kanye] wanted [my album] to be last, he wanted mine to be the biggest. That's the way they sauced it up. I was sold."

The video will debut on Jan. 19. Check out the teaser below.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

👀 1.19.19 👀 #WTP Directed by @teyanataylor & @ogbeefjones @theauntiesinc 🙏🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾 The wait is ALMOST over. 😏 @museumofsex

A post shared by Jimmy Neutch- Shumpert (@teyanataylor) on Jan 8, 2019 at 6:32pm PST

Continue Reading
Getty Images

Trina Braxton’s Ex-Husband, Gabe Solis, Dies After Battle With Cancer

Gabe Solis, the ex-husband of Trina Braxton, lost his battle with cancer, Thursday (Dec. 20),  TMZ reports. He was 43.

Solis passed away at his home in Texas, surrounded by friends and family, according to the outlet. No official details have been released about his passing.

Solis had reportedly been keeping his cancer battle private. His death came as a shock to his loved ones. On Friday (Dec. 21), Braxton seemingly mourned the loss of her ex-husband with a cryptic Instagram meme reading, “I need a hug..E bottle of wine.”

The former couple tied the knot in 2003, and appeared together on previous seasons of WEtv’s Braxton Family Values. Despite finalizing their divorce in 2015, Braxton and Solis confronted lingering issues from their marriage during an episode of Iyanla: Fix My Life, earlier in the year.

Braxton has since moved on to a new relationship, but remained friends with Solis.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Trina Braxton (@trinabraxton1) on Dec 21, 2018 at 9:49am PST

READ MORE: Phaedra Parks To Join 'Braxton Family Values' Cast

Continue Reading

Top Stories