Thank God You Dodged A Bullet: Why You’re Better Off Without Your Him


The summer has come back around and with it, all your ex boyfriends and lovers who are hoping for a summer fling, romp or who are just so bored that they couldn’t think of anyone better to bother than YOU.

Our favorite break-up anthem songstress, Beyonce, has penned a new song for us all who want to leave our former lovers in the dust titled “Best Thing I Never Had”. The line “You showed your ass and I saw the real you” can pretty much sum up most of the reasons why our relationships ended, if not for nastier reasons. My mother has used the saying “you dodged a bullet” more than once over the past couple of years in reference to failed relationship attempts, thus Beyonce hit it right on the head. In times like these when you’re equally bored and looking for that summer romance Justin Timberlake crooned about, remember why you are indeed better off without him.

THE EGOMANIAC: He cared way too much about himself, his appearance, his friends, his job………do you see yourself anywhere in that equation? He had the ego of Kanye with none of the talent to back it up and quite frankly, no one needs a man like that. Eventually, you would have run yourself down and worn yourself out trying to cater to him, Him, and HIM.

THE STAGE 4 CLINGER: Love is amazing, don’t get me wrong. Spending days and nights with your boyfriend/lover, cuddled up and totally into each other. Until that time becomes all the time and you aren’t allowed to breathe, take a stroll or even scratch your ass without him wanting to participate. Relationships are most successful when both parties involved have their own separate lives and come together to blend the two, when the time is right. Sharing is caring, but sometimes a little room to breathe is necessary.

ALL BODY AND NO BRAINS: We’ve all had that guy who couldn’t add 2+2, but it didn’t matter because he was so damn good looking! Unfortunately, the appeal wears off and you want a little mental stimulation, not just the other kind. Though some of your needs might have been satisfied, a wealth of others weren’t. Best to find a man who can hold a conversation, your heart, and whatever other body parts need holding.

MR. PUT A RING ON IT, AFTER WEEK 1: Beyonce asked for it and yes he does exist. A week after nightly phone calls and a few dates, he all but picked out your children’s names, introduced you to his mom, talked about your wedding song and everything! Scary to say the least. Relationships need time to grow and you definitely need more than a week to get to know someone. Taking it slow never hurt anyone.

THE E-LOVER: He is there for you night and day whenever you call, but only in cyberspace and text message land. He doesn’t really like meeting up often or chatting on the phone, but he’ll answer your BBM messages, emails, tweets, facebook messages, and google chat in a heartbeat. There is nothing like face to face and physical interaction. “Computer Love” is just a cool song from the 1980’s; get with someone who likes the “real-time” you.

Tags: beyonce, feature