Keeping it Real Keeping it Real

Why Keeping It Real Can Go Wrong

We’ve all been taught to tell the truth. We even throw sticks and stones at those who don’t tell the truth. In grade school we would sing the mantra, “Liar, liar pants on fire.” We’d point and laugh whenever we caught someone in lie.

To add insult to injury there is the old adage, “If you lie, you’ll cheat or steal. Or kill.” I’m proud to say I don’t cheat, steal and maybe had the desire to kill but never acted on it. I can’t buy that temperament interpretation. I never viewed lying as a gateway drug to the latter three.

I’m sure you’ve been on a job interview and some asked you, “If you saw a co-worker stealing what would you do.” Answer, please. Right. Since we are talking about being honest, the entire interview process is made up of lies, deceit and nice-crisp black suits with killer pumps – don’t forget the smile. Some of the best interviews I have given were exaggerated truths and made up examples of customer service experiences I have never had. A white lie?

Everyone tells a white lie on occasion, it’s just a question of why. Some white lies save relationships, some ease a hectic situation, and others buy us time. Like the previous example, it can help you land a job. So now that we know white lies exist, can they not exist in our relationships?

I always have a battle with if honesty is the best policy. Am I the only one? I know hope I’m not. But if I can admit to one of the flaws that have lingered in past relationships would be totally being honest. I’m not lying about everything and I do consider myself a trustworthy person but some things I just don’t feel everyone is privileged to. I used to find myself lying just to spare someone’s feelings or keep the animosity down in the relationship. It is natural when the more you feel comfortable around someone the more you open up. While dating someone we often frequently desire disclosure. Self-disclosure can have a functional and dysfunctional effect on relationships especially when the truth is involved.

Being honest in my relationships has gotten easier over time. I am still a work in progress but I can honestly say I am working at it. Relationships are made up of being honest. A good foundation is made up of more than just communication and respect; honesty has to be factored in too. The difficulty with being honest with people is trying to gauge if he or she can handle the truth. This is where the ball is mostly dropped in relationships. We can never tell if someone can handle the truth unless we actually tell the truth. To disclose the truth is to the tell truth. Then that works both ways. No matter which end you are on, you should also create and foster a relationship where someone feels comfortable with telling you the truth.

Drew-Shane Daniels is a Philadelphia based writer maneuvering through life and graduate school. He’s the creative genius behind the project www.heardhimsay.com, his personal blog where he offers his two cents on pop culture, lifestyle, sexuality and entertainment. His work is featured on Global Grind, Soul Train and Clutch Magazine. You can also follow him on Twitter @drewshane.

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Kelly Rowland Says Her Highly-Anticipated Project Is "Definitely Coming"

Six years ago, Kelly Rowland released her fourth studio album titled Talk a Good Game. The project boasted hit singles like "Kisses Down Low" and the transparent "Dirty Laundry." Now, the Houston native is preparing to release a project that'll surely satisfy fans' patient earbuds.

In an interview with Billboard, Rowland shared her hopes for putting out a new body of work and the pressure that she's encountered since she's been in the studio. "This is by far the longest, most pressure-filled process ever, only because I know what it's supposed to be and I have been so hard on myself. I know it," she said. "And it's the first time I've said it out loud. I've been extremely hard on myself. But it's definitely coming, and I'm more so excited about this project than anything else."

The news follows the recent release of Rowland's "Kelly" track, which was met with critical acclaim in November 2018. In addition to preparing the release of new music, the "Motivation" singer discussed fans' wish for a Destiny's Child reunion. The rumors have been fueled by social media photographs of Rowland with either Beyonce or Michelle or all three, especially during Beyonce's past Coachella performance. But Rowland assures readers that it's not what they think.

"It's so funny. I guess every time people see us together, they just see music but I see sisterhood, and that's what we are and that's what me, her, Michelle [Williams] and Solange and I are. People see us all together, they immediately think music. I'm like, no. Just family." As Rowland previously mentioned Solange, she hopes to one day work with her again.

"I'm a huge fan," she said. "I love her writing and how detailed and particular she is. I always wanted to figure out how the heck she has so many different layers of harmonies when she is constructing these vocals, and it's so complex but simple. It's genius. It's the genius in her genius mind that she has in there." One of the last times the pair collaborated was on Rowland's "Simply Deep" track off her debut solo album of the same name. Solange also penned a few songs off the same project. Fast forward to 2016, and Rowland's vocals were featured on Solange's iconic A Seat at the Table.

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Teyana Taylor To Pay Homage To Ballroom Culture In "WTP" Video

Teyana Taylor aims to keep her hot streak of innovative videos coming thanks to this recent announcement. Taking to Instagram on Wednesday (Jan. 9), the "Gonna Love Me" singer will show adoration to ballroom culture in the visual for "WTP."

Directed by Gregory "Beef" Jones, The Aunties Inc., and Taylor herself, the Harlemite takes viewers on her journey to the expression-filled space where she hopes to rack up 10s across the board from a group of judges. The premise of the video also seems to follow a mockumentary format airing on a fictional network named FEMTV. Alongside Taylor, other men and women get ready to display their talents and confidence on the ballroom floor.

"WTP" is featured on the mother-of-one's sophomore album, K.T.S.E., which was released in June 2018. While the rollout's controversy didn't entirely muddle the excitement behind the project's debut, Taylor said she was sold on the idea that her album would be treated as the biggest out of G.O.O.D. Music's string of releases last year.

"I didn't know ahead of time that there wouldn't be any singles or visuals. But I knew that it was going to be the five-album thing," she said during a HOT 97 interview. "[Kanye] wanted [my album] to be last, he wanted mine to be the biggest. That's the way they sauced it up. I was sold."

The video will debut on Jan. 19. Check out the teaser below.

 

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👀 1.19.19 👀 #WTP Directed by @teyanataylor & @ogbeefjones @theauntiesinc 🙏🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾 The wait is ALMOST over. 😏 @museumofsex

A post shared by Jimmy Neutch- Shumpert (@teyanataylor) on Jan 8, 2019 at 6:32pm PST

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Trina Braxton’s Ex-Husband, Gabe Solis, Dies After Battle With Cancer

Gabe Solis, the ex-husband of Trina Braxton, lost his battle with cancer, Thursday (Dec. 20),  TMZ reports. He was 43.

Solis passed away at his home in Texas, surrounded by friends and family, according to the outlet. No official details have been released about his passing.

Solis had reportedly been keeping his cancer battle private. His death came as a shock to his loved ones. On Friday (Dec. 21), Braxton seemingly mourned the loss of her ex-husband with a cryptic Instagram meme reading, “I need a hug..E bottle of wine.”

The former couple tied the knot in 2003, and appeared together on previous seasons of WEtv’s Braxton Family Values. Despite finalizing their divorce in 2015, Braxton and Solis confronted lingering issues from their marriage during an episode of Iyanla: Fix My Life, earlier in the year.

Braxton has since moved on to a new relationship, but remained friends with Solis.

 

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A post shared by Trina Braxton (@trinabraxton1) on Dec 21, 2018 at 9:49am PST

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