Dating Friends Ex Dating Friends Ex

The One Time It Might Be OK To Date An Ex’s Friend

Remember the scene in The Player’s Club where Diamond comes home to find her boyfriend in bed with her cousin and flips out? Yeah, devastating. Well, I watched the entire rest of the film, rape scene and all, and couldn’t get over how evil it was that her cousin and boyfriend betrayed her. And though Diamond came to a resolution with her cousin at the end, I could never have come to forgive her.

Having sex, or making out, or even heavily flirting with a friend/family member’s significant other has always been unforgivable to me. It’s a betrayal on multiple counts. A two-for-one special of disloyalty, deception and selfishness.

And in my experience, there are few times that this offense occurs where it’s not a subliminal attack on the victim, whether the angry lover pursues the friend out of spite (this has happened to me recently) or the friend seduces the lover out of envy (this has also happened to me recently).

But…sometimes when an event you dread occurring finally happens to you, you realize it’s not as bad as you anticipated. Stay with me.

In high school, I fell in love with a guy. Mentally, I’ve never been more stimulated by someone of the opposite sex. Charm, intelligence, wit, charisma, humor, depth, wisdom, hustler’s ambition, he had at all. I liked everything about him: the way he walked, how all his friends followed him, the passion he exuded about his art, the (rightful) arrogance he showed about his smarts (he was a genius at math, and made sure everyone knew it).

I especially liked the way that he liked me. I delighted in being the apple of his eye. There’s a spark and constant flow of creative energy I have that I think he enjoyed. And no one could match him in a debate like I could. He respected that. When he looked at me, his eyes would just sparkle and I’d feel special.

Maybe that was the problem.

Because there was nothing special about his affection. He was young, charming and attractive. And there were plenty of women at our school who noticed and were happy to entertain him, whether through a one-night stand or a “fuck buddy” arrangement or more.

We were friends first, which would be a great thing had it not given me a front row seat to all the women that casually came in and out of his life. As much as he seemed to like me, he loved easy women that much more. And relationship just didn’t seem to be in his vocabulary.

Feeling strongly for him and occasionally dating but not committing, was an ordeal. I was a wreck and constantly confiding in my girlfriends to make sense of my mixed feelings, especially The Friend, who was my closest confidant at the time.

When he opened up to The Friend about me, in the cafeteria or by the lockers, she’d report what he’d said later and I’d hang on to every word. And thank God she was there when I broke down after news hit the school rumor circuit that he had a girlfriend (which to no one’s surprise, only lasted two weeks).

He and I stayed friends, but eventually I moved on to a guy who wanted a serious relationship, and eventually, we all moved on to separate colleges. Life happened, and we fell out of touch.

Fast-forward to four years later. We’re at a mutual friend’s birthday party and though we haven’t seen each other in what seems like forever, our chemistry is still the same, like it’s been bottled up all these years.

We’re having small talk. He works at a law firm out of D.C. I ended up in PR, living in The Bronx. After five minutes of high school reunion talk about who got married, who got into the music business and became an overnight success and who came out of the closet, The Friend comes up.

“Do you still talk to The Friend?” he asks.

“Not really, no real reason,” I lie. “Well, actually, we had a falling out. But our lives went in different directions anyway.”

“Well, I used to talk to her,” he says.

He doesn’t mean what I think he does. “Talk about what?” I respond.

Talk to her. We dated for awhile.”

Suddenly, I had to concentrate on breathing. “When?”

“Like two years after we graduated…” He went on for awhile about their relationship, how they started going out, what they used to do together, but I barely heard a word. Erratically, I blurt out: “Did you have sex with her?”

“Yeah, I did.”

I grimaced. I had been trying to hide my emotions, but I couldn’t anymore. Wasn’t that, like, incestuous? I told myself to be calm. “Why’d you break up?”

“It’s a long story…but basically, she’s crazy. She was too attached to me and one night, we got into an argument after sex and she kicked me out of the house naked and threw all my clothes out of the window because I wouldn’t tell her I loved her,” he pauses. “Are you okay?”

By this point, the details of their relationship (nakedness? love?) were too much for me to handle and my face had completely betrayed me. I was floored.

“I didn’t realize you guys were that close,” is all he says. “I’m sorry.”

In the cab ride home, my emotions vacillate between anger and pain. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if technically I have a right to be upset (of course, theoretically, you can’t help how you feel and the fact that I cared about him, and her, would naturally make me feel hurt).

But he and I weren’t together.

It was years after we were involved that he slept with The Friend. And by then, she wasn’t even my friend anymore.

And as he emphatically brought up during our conversation, I never gave him the goods anyway.

Just because he dated me at one point, and we still were fond of each other, does that mean that everyone I was close with at the time is off limits to him? That doesn’t really make sense, what if my ex-high school BFF could be his soul mate?

Would the unspoken rule of “not dating an ex’s friend” prevent them from exploring a worthwhile romance? They’d be stupid to let what he and I had in high school get in the way of something special. Even if it hurt me in the process.

Which leads me to the question…when is it okay to date an ex’s friend?

Though society would have you believe dating an ex’s friend is a cardinal sin, there are exceptions to every rule. What circumstances would make it forgivable? Discuss.

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Beyoncè Shells Out Ivy Park Goodies To Janelle Monae, Yara Shahidi, Kelly Rowland And More

We're less than 24 hours away from the full release of Beyoncè's Ivy Park collaboration with Adidas and fans are beyond ready, thanks to her brilliant orange box preview.

The entertainer and businesswoman gifted her family and celebrity pals with treasure trunks of goodies. From Solange to Yara Shahidi, celebs shared pieces from the collection on social media this week. Adidas announced its multi-year partnership with the mogul last April, making history in the process. The singer is the first black woman to be the sole owner of an athleisure brand. Bey took the steps to own the brand entirely after her initial collab with Topshop in 2016 by purchasing the shares of Phillip Green after sexual harassment claims were filed against him.

“It’s a dream come true to re-launch IVY PARK as the sole owner,” Beyonce said in a statement. It’s her first collaboration with adidas but not her first time building buzz for a product. The legend cleverly shared the mysterious orange boxes in all shapes in sized to her friends, thus creating quite the conversation on social media.

Ivy Park is also creating bigger conversations in the corporate world. According to a November research note by Bank of America Merrill Lynch, Ivy Park's sales can slowly surpass Kanye West's Yeezy line.

“In-line with adidas approach on other franchises, we would expect there to be a low volume, high priced launch ... to create brand heat and in the following years the brand will likely become more democratized,” the note says.“Initially, Ivy Park will be smaller than Yeezy, but Ivy Park has the potential to be larger, if managed properly,” says Matt Powell, a senior footwear analyst at NPD Group.

We love to see it.

See the celebs bask in their Ivy Park glory below.

Tina Lawson

 

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I love this couture beautiful Orange IVY PARK Adidas dress thanks @beyonce. @ivyparkadidas @ivypark. @beyonce. @dougspearman

A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Jan 12, 2020 at 1:27pm PST

Reese Witherspoon

 

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Thank you, @Beyonce for the #IvyPark swag!

A post shared by Reese Witherspoon (@reesewitherspoon) on Jan 15, 2020 at 2:28pm PST

Janelle Monae

 

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Thank you Bey for these @weareivypark pieces ! And a special thank you for my new hide out where I’ll bey escaping my duties . S O proud of you ! Luhhhhh uuuuu @beyonce swiiiipe ☄️

A post shared by Janelle Monáe (@janellemonae) on Jan 15, 2020 at 10:35pm PST

Hailey Bieber

[email protected] unboxing her #adidasxIVYPARK package. pic.twitter.com/Y3rcxIDhCe

— BEYONCÉ LEGION (@BeyLegion) January 15, 2020

Kelly Rowland

[email protected] unboxing her #adidasxIVYPARK package. pic.twitter.com/vGqwwnZrnl

— BEYONCÉ LEGION (@BeyLegion) January 16, 2020

Yara Shahidi

 

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ADDIDASXIVYPARK PEEK

A post shared by Yara (يارا‎) Shahidi (@yarashahidi) on Jan 10, 2020 at 11:41pm PST

Scottie Beam

 

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Check my instastories to see what Beyonce SELECTED for me. Lmfao! Thank you so so much @weareivypark @beyonce ✨ THE INFEED PHOTO IS COMING!

A post shared by scottiebeam (@scottiebeam) on Jan 17, 2020 at 6:48am PST

Ellen DeGeneres

Thank you, @Beyonce. I love my big orange box. Your new clothes are really cool too. #adidasxIVYPARK @adidas pic.twitter.com/ecTxZ5o0CG

— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) January 15, 2020

Missy Elliott

Thank you so much @Beyonce I am soooooooo humbly grateful you are a GEM! Lol the box was so big I was scared to open I thought a whole human was gonna jump out but this FYE sis #IVYPARK I LOVE IT! pic.twitter.com/hJbrfDWvXL

— Missy Elliott (@MissyElliott) January 16, 2020

Diplo

[email protected] unboxing his #adidasxIVYPARK package. pic.twitter.com/D2BKKVzLBw

— BEYONCÉ LEGION (@BeyLegion) January 14, 2020

Zendaya

Zendaya has gotten her Ivy Park box....#IvyParkXAdidas #IvyPark #adidasxIVYPARK #adidas pic.twitter.com/fLYdYAVyWn

— Yoncé Headlines (@YonceHeadlines) January 15, 2020

Kim Kimble

 

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Thank you @beyonce @weareivypark @adidas for this drip and I’m going to buy some as well

A post shared by Kim Kimble (@kimblehaircare) on Jan 15, 2020 at 4:07pm PST

Rita Ora

Rita Ora out and about in her Ivy Park x Adidas wear. pic.twitter.com/hFt4OQjE4v

— Beyoncé, Period! (@ourhermitage) January 16, 2020

Quincy

Diddy’s son, Quincy, also got a box of the upcoming Ivy Park/Adidas collection, officially dropping on the 18th of January, 2020 pic.twitter.com/rUJOWgy2l4

— Beyoncé, Period! (@ourhermitage) January 12, 2020

Cardi B

 

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That new @weareivypark bomb

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Laverne Cox

https://twitter.com/BeyLegion/status/1216405687862988806

 

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#mood4eva in my Adidas X IVY Park ... #mood #TransIsBeautiful @adidas @weareivypark @beyonce #DisclosureDoc

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Michelle Williams

 

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Looks coming soooooooooon!!! “I GOT IT” by @rickydillard is appropriate! @beyonce @weareivypark @adidas!! Ok bye for now!!

A post shared by Michelle Williams (@michellewilliams) on Jan 16, 2020 at 2:03pm PST

Solange

Solange getting the Ivy Park x Adidas from her sis pic.twitter.com/G2bRO2lTYc

— | IVY PARK X ADIDAS ON JAN 18th (@beysarayonce) January 15, 2020

Kendall Jenner

Kendall Jenner got a Ivy Park box...#IvyParkXAdidas #IvyPark #adidasxIVYPARK #adidas pic.twitter.com/79LGysUZBp

— Yoncé Headlines (@YonceHeadlines) January 17, 2020

Keke Palmer

 

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why do i feel like the whole planet earth is going to wear ivy park? — #beyonce #beyoncé #queen #queenb #yoncé #rumiandsir #rumiandsircarter #rumicarter #sircarter #blueivy #blueivycarter #jayz #jayonce #beyonceandjayz #thecarters #sashafierce #beyhives #beyhive #beckywiththegoodhair #ivypark #ivyparkbeyonce #weareivypark #ivypark2020 #2020 #beyonce2020 #beyoncephotoshoot #beyonceoutfit #flawless

A post shared by (@bivyslife) on Jan 17, 2020 at 4:36am PST

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Versace

Jennifer Lopez's Iconic Versace Dress To Be Transformed Into Swanky Watch

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Since her jaw-dropping fashion moment, the actress-singer has rocked the print a few times. A jumpsuit version was worn in the visuals for "I Luv Ya Papi" back in 2014 with a revamped version of the gown making its way to Milan Fashion Week in 2019.

But the jungle print wristwatch isn't the only second coming of the print. The brand will also release shirts, heart-shaped necklaces, Squalo sneakers and beaded as a three-dimensional décor on Virtus handbags.

Originally worn to the Grammys in 2000, Lopez's take on the dress was both a music and fashion moment. Although the dress was worn by Spice Girls member Geri Halliwell, aka Ginger Spice, Donatella Versace and Sandra Bullock (in another color), Lopez's daring look cemented her spot in pop culture.

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Supporters of singer R. Kelly, Azriel Clary and Joycelyn Savage, leave after the singer's arraignment at the Dirksen Federal Building on July 16, 2019 in Chicago, Illinois.
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