These Three Words


A while back I was going through my daily routine of cruising the web for new blogs when I came across one that was discussing what else but love. As I read the post about the author and her love interest one line in particular really stood out to me.

“As I’ve matured, I got rid of my logic equations, i.e., “IF he does this, THEN it means that.” Now, I just go by one golden rule: If I feel loved, than I am loved.”

That last sentence got me to thinking, are the words I. Love. You. really all that important or are the actions what really matters. As women, most of us can’t wait to hear those three little words from our special someone. It’s like torture counting the weeks, days, months and sometimes years, until you hear how your man truly feels about you. Once we hear those words we remember them forever and look forward to hearing them as often as possible. When we don’t hear them, we assume something is wrong. Forget the fact that he could’ve been rushing to a meeting and just forgot to say it, oh hell no, he must be cheating or upset about that petty argument over the last bit of milk this morning. Once said those words can control our lives without us even realizing it. But do we need them?

They always say that actions speak louder than words, so if a man is treating you with respect, encouraging you, standing by you, remembering the little things, spending time with you, etc….should it matter whether he actually verbalizes his feelings. Shouldn’t his actions alone prove his love to you? There are millions of people in the world who hear the words on a regular basis, but are being disrespected or cheated on. They are showered with I love yous all the time but still do not FEEL loved because the actions aren’t matching up. Yet many women insist on hearing the words as validation regardless of the actions being in sync. Seeing them on cards, hearing them spoken to friends or family about our relationship seems to hold so much weight and some of it could be unnecessary.

Personally I root for having both. I want to hear and feel the love in my relationship, however if I had to I could live without ever hearing the actual words again as long as the actions kept me feeling the love. The words, in my opinion, don’t hold that much weight. Am I alone in that thought?

Could you stay in a relationship where the love was given in actions alone? Does your partner have to show it and say it in order for you to feel their love and respect for you? Would you end a relationship with someone who never said I love you?

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