Fellas, We Do Not Fancy Your Phallus Photos

Ridiculous! You open your phone to the glorious (or four-inch) image of your suitor’s phallic equipment. Reflexively, you roll your eyes and say to yourself, “Really, dude?” Little does he know, you’re now off to share the “wealth” with your girls or dub this salacious experience the joke of the week. Not to mention, you’ve made it a point to ignore his probing follow-up questions: “Did you get the pic?” “What do you think?” or “Are you down to come through later?”

Man, have a seat! Women are usually never that impressed with boosting your machismo and gazing obsessing over your God-given jewels. A peek at your little guy is immensely less appealing than you receiving a money shot from Amber Rose. Rick Ross was in the right ballpark when he exclaimed that “Real n*ggas don’t send d*ck flicks!” I’m not arguing real versus fake or boss versus b*tch-made, but I’m definitely arguing that women do not love a front row seat to your meatpacking district via iPhone. A Kanye West-inspired or Chris Brown-esque nude pic isn’t going to get me in your bedroom quicker or have me rushing home from work.

If we’ve just met, there’s no need for visual preview of something you’re not certain that I’m entertaining. Women decide on whether or not they’re going flaunt their goodies in your sex room within the first few minutes, so chill on the naughty Macbook photos. Likewise, if we’re in a year-long relationship, why do I need a reminder of something I’m experiencing on a regular basis? Pull it in and zip it up because, honestly, women don’t appreciate them as much as you think.

Just use your words, fellas! You’ve been convinced somehow that talk is cheap, but when executing sexting, stick to descriptive words and naughty phrases or a glimpse of what’s to come. Trust, your girl will be pleased. So hung or not, keep your phallus photos to yourself.

Vixens, have you gotten a penis pic lately? Let us know!