The Backslide

You know how it starts.

First it’s a purely accidental “bump in to” during an outing or maybe an innocent “Happy Birthday” text. Then, the “Just thinking of you” and smiley face texts make their way into the daily routine. In a blink, you’re on a semi regular phone, email and text schedule, sharing your days, reliving old memories and maybe even planning new ones. Before long, you’ve taken a long and dangerous ride down that slippery slope called…The Backslide. No need for denial or regrets people, it often happens to the best of us. Majority of the time the backslide is a bad idea leading to nothing but hurt feelings in the end, but can it ever be good?

We’re all imperfect beings prone to making mistakes, sometimes very big, very hurtful mistakes, but does that mean that we are to be that mistake forever? Is there ever a time when certain mistakes can be forgiven, even the ones that were really bad? It’s hard to stay rational and angry at the past, when the present feels so good, when those conversations and text messages stir up old feelings, and when your head says “Run girl, run! Get help!” *cue Dave Chappelle* but your heart really, really wants to stay. Sometimes we fear the backslide because everyone around us says we shouldn’t forgive, when we really want to, or says we deserve better without giving that person a chance to prove they’ve changed and possibly have become the “better” that we’re looking for. Is it really so wrong to want to forgive? Is wanting to backslide a sign of weakness, stupidity and low self esteem, or just a hope and belief that maybe this person has actually changed and can be forgiven?

Definitely it should be noted that the backslide isn’t for everyone. Some people simply aren’t worth the energy it takes to even entertain the thought. However, just like there are exceptions to most rules, can’t there be an exception to the backslide? Can’t the rekindling of a flame and talks on lessons learned lead to a new beginning? Maybe, maybe not, but one thing’s for sure, the euphoric high of floating above the clouds in love is a tough feeling to overcome. But maybe that’s really the true purpose of a backslide. To provide a euphoric, yet temporary, feeling to remind us that even after the sting of hurt and loss our hearts are still capable of feeling a true love that still awaits.

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