3 Reasons We Give Side-Eye to Leashes on a Woman
After the wasteful exuberance of another Halloween comes to an end, we now have to deal with consequences of everyone’s costume choices. In our age of Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, anyone with a connection and interest has access to the Halloween costume tomfoolery that happens across this great country. From NHL star Raffi Torres’ decision to darken his skin to resemble his idol Jay-Z to the thoughtful Students Teaching About Racism in Society (STARS) campaign, which raised much needed awareness to the offensive ethnic caricatures, there is no doubt that when it comes to Halloween costumes, Americans still have a long way to go to find balance between taboo and disrespect.
So when our favorite comedic rapper Chris “Ludacris” Bridges--along with his intelligent, doctor girlfriend, Eudoxie--stepped out on Halloween dressed as, I think, Jack Hanna and a cheetah, respectively, I could not help but cringe on their playful display of misogyny. I’m sorry but my psyche processed the leash, the outfits and the disposition of these two famous thirty-somethings as either naive or ignorant to the gender politics which accompany such a spectacle.
I really like Ludacris as an witty lyricist, and I like Chris Bridges as a philanthropic person. Who showed up this party? Was this a contrived attempt to rev-up Ludacris’ into hyper-masculinity in order to revive his dormant rap career? Nowadays, we never really know who an entertainer is coming into public sphere as, but with debates on corporate personhood rampant, I guess it’s fashionable to do something damaging yet take minimal responsibility for one’s actions. Luckily, this fact doesn’t stop me from writing.
Either way, hopefully we can all agree that the leash on Luda’s woman was in poor taste, but if you don’t, here are three reasons why leashes on a woman might seem offensive to some...
Let’s keep it real, leashes are for animals that are not trained, posing a immediate threat to the safety of others. So, what in the world does a woman have that can threaten the safety of others -- basically, their sexuality. Not only does a woman’s sexuality need to be controlled by a man but the leash suggests that the woman needs protection from herself. When one sees a dog without a leash, regardless if the dog is trained or not, there is slight fear that that dog may succumb to his senses and attack or, in case of a female dog, act like a bitch. Thus, if a woman is not a leash -- literally, but mostly figuratively -- she will lose control of her vagina, throwing herself at the first available man or woman.
It is ludicrous to think that a leash around a woman’s neck does not evoke those aforementioned feelings. I guess I’m the naive one since Ludacris is famous off songs like “Move Bitch,” “Pimpin’ All Over the World,” and “You’Z a Ho.” What should I except?
Not all, but lots of women struggle with the feelings of subordination to men within most societies. Many would claim that America’s liberal leanings have allowed women to climb to economic heights unimaginable in other nations. I mean, seriously, America coined “Oprah” status. But, on the flip side, even the most successful daytime television host can’t help but hear whispers about her sexuality and overall happiness because of she scoffs at traditional female gender roles; she rarely talks about marriage, takes long, intimate trips with her best friend Gayle and keeps a barren womb.
In Luda’s case specifically, his girlfriend is a doctor. How many male doctors will allow a woman to put a leash around their neck outside of kinky sex? Even though most people will let these pictures passively run in and out of their consciousness, it indelibly leaves an imprint that allows a person such as Sandra Rose to make comments like, “Aww, how cute!”
It’s not a stretch to assume that if Ludacris showed up in animal print, regardless if the costume was tight and loose, with a leash around his neck, there would have been hell to pay from the media and, I’m just guessing, his friends, family, and managers. We would have heard he was either whipped or he looked weak. On the contrary, people can comment that it’s cute for Eudoxie to have a leash around her neck because she supposed to be weak and subordinate in respect to her man.
The main the issue some women have with men is that men never really understand how stuff like this actually hurts them more than us. It takes the threat of violence -- in the myriad of ways violence manifests, from verbal to physical -- to put any animal, much less an intelligent human being, on a leash. If you have ever witnessed an animal being trained, there are many different verbal threats in order to tame the animal, which quickly turn physical if the animal resists.
Although, in this instance, outwardly Ludacris looks like “the man” and feels like “the man,” he’ll maybe have to explain one day to his beautiful daughter why it’s okay for him walk around with Eudoxie on leash, even if it’s only for one day, and how both of them, as adults, came up with the idea in the first place. Questions must arise, “Did he force her?” ... “Is she scared to lose him if she doesn’t participate?”
Not only does Ludacris look insecure, but his tweet confirms it. Albeit in a playful manner, tweeting that you have captured a cheetah after a drunken night in Las Vegas shows he has internalized hate and accepts violence towards women -- however lighthearted it is -- so deeply it’s in the fabric of who he is as a person.
I know many will say it’s not that deep and it’s highly presumptuous to claim that Ludacris hates women, but much like how, as black people, we notice that some white people cannot wait until Halloween to dress in blackface and use the N-word, some men can’t wait to revel in their egomaniac fantasies, using Halloween as night to assert their masculinity in ways that illuminate how inadequate they feel the other 364 days of the year.
Think of it like this... Every time a woman suffers any type of misogynistic abuse at the hands or mind of a man, he loses his humanity. So, who is really the beast?