Fix-a-Flat Booty Enhancement

The New "Real" Booty

I don’t usually go to the clubs. Not my thing. The last time I went a few months ago, the DJ was still shouting out ladies who had “real hair.” Ok. Fair enough. I went to Manhattan club two weeks ago–officially my last club experience in life—and the MC was saluting women with “real ass.”

Has it come to this?

Booty injections have gone from the strip club to every club. This bootleg beauty enhancement is no longer the domain of working girls and video chicks, but the accessory of “regular” girls who sneak off to seedy hotel rooms for “pumping parties" to have unlicensed medical parishioners inject illegal substances into their ass. You can spot their purchased rumps plain as day, either because none of them are able to resist going supersize, adding padding that never believably fits their frame, or because of their misshapen posteriors. There’s a news story every month about a batch of women who landed in some emergency room because they had construction-grade silicone, cement or some other horrible substance put in them that’s left them disfigured with life-threatening injuries.

Just last week, I read a story about a Miami woman who paid $700 for booty injections because she needed a curvier figure to get a job at a nightclub. The ‘doctor’, who has since been arrested, botched the job, inserting "Fix-a-Flat"--a concoction of cement, mineral oil and Super Glue--into her backside. The result? Pneumonia-like symptoms that left large infected welts on her backside.

The stories about how women get fake tush are pretty common, so this one stood out to me for another reason: The picture of the “doc.” How can I describe her? Picture say an upper body like Jennifer Hudson now, and a lower body like J-Hud pre-Weight Watchers (and that’s not a slight at Jenny, just comparison of how odd the combination would look together.) Now take the pre-weight loss hips, and make them lopsided. See how crazy that sounds, it looks even stranger and not in a "Damn, baby got back!!” kind of way, more like a “What the hell did she do to herself?” I’m amazed that women saw this was the affect of the product the “doctor” was selling and assumed the position to get injected anyway. Are some women that desperate for a big butt?

I know “ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass” (thanks Big Sean) is all the rage, but really, bigger doesn’t always translate to better. If women insist on pumping their butts, I’m going to need the ladies to apply the same rule we should all be using for hair weaves: blend. Just like the texture of the hair you buy should match your roots, the size of the tush you add should look like your thighs can feasibly support it. Your artificial tush should look like it’s somewhat possible you were born with it, not like it was slapped on like Mr. Potato-head’s nose. Fool some of the people some of the time, and maybe when you raise your hands in the club to claim the booty you bought as “yours,” no one will be able to tell the difference.

Demetria L. Lucas is the author of “A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life” (Atria) in stores now. Follow her on Twitter @abelleinbk

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SZA called for peace and understanding at Billboard's Women In Music event Thursday (Dec. 6).

During her speech for the Rule Breaker award, singer-songwriter recalled today's climate, asking her peers and those watching at home for a little bit of peace.

"I'm sorry for the state of the world honestly, for everybody in this room and I pray that all of us just get through it a little bit easier and just try not to lash out at each other," she said.

The recurring theme of unity among women was also heard on the carpet from artists like Tierra Whack. In addition to her message of love, the "Broken Clocks" singer also thanked her TDE family for rocking with her creative process.

"I'm just so thankful for everybody having patience with me, " she said. Shouting out the key members of her family in attendance, the TDE affiliate gave praise to her mother, father, and grandma. In this brief speech centered around the artist's growth Solána Imani Rowe, known more commonly as her stage name, Rowe everyone for their trust in her.

"I'm grateful for everybody taking the time to have the patience to watch someone grow, it is painful and sometimes exciting but mostly boring. And I am thankful for Top (Top Dawg Entertainment's Anthony Tiffith) for not dropping me from that label. For Peter, who I change my ideas every day and he be like okay I like this," she continued.

Thanking the likes of musical powerhouses like Alicia Keys and Whack, "The Weekend" singer offered her appreciation and condolences to Ariana Grande.

Watch SZA accept the Rule Breaker award above.

READ MORE: Anderson .Paak, Tierra Whack And More Praise Female Artists At 2018 Billboard Women In Music

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Beyoncé, Rihanna, And J. Lo Make Forbes’ Highest-Paid Women In Music List

As November comes to a close, many publications will be crafting their year-end lists for all things pop culture. Forbes released a ranking of the world's highest-paid women in music on Monday (Nov. 19), with Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, and Rihanna holding it down for women of color.

Beyoncé comes in at No. 3 on the list with an earning of $60 million as she made most of her money through her historical Coachella performance, the joint album with husband JAY-Z, Everything is Love, and the Carters' On The Run II Tour in support of its release.

Jennifer Lopez made No. 6 for earnings tallying of over $47 million thanks to her lucrative Las Vegas residency, endorsements, and shows including World of Dance where she serves as a judge.

Rihanna follows behind the "Love Don't Cost A Thing" diva at No. 7 with earnings of over $37.5 million. Although she hasn't toured since 2016—thanks to her cosmetics and lingerie lines, Fenty Beauty and Savage Lingerie—the Bajan pop star has been keeping herself busy.

Forbes' annual list (which factors in pretax earnings from June 1, 2017, through June 1, 2018) has placed Katy Perry at the top with over $83 million in profits due to her gig as an American Idol judge and her 80-date Witness: The Tour that brought in an estimated $1 million per night.

Scroll down to see Forbes' full list below.

Katy Perry ($83 million) Taylor Swift ($80 million) Beyoncé ($60 million) P!nk ($52 million) Lady Gaga ($50 million) Jennifer Lopez ($47 million) Rihanna ($37.5 million) Helene Fischer ($32 million) Celine Dion ($31 million) Britney Spears ($30 million)

 

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Kelly Rowland Hops In Her Bag With New Single "Kelly"

Kelly Rowland has it all and isn't afraid to brag about it on her new single, "Kelly."

Released Thursday (Nov. 22), the singer goes the clubby, confident route while rightfully dropping her attributes like her relationship with God, smoldering looks (a.k.a the drip) among other things. With "Kelly" being the first single since her 2013's Talk a Good Game, the singer comes out swinging, reminding everyone of her power in the game.

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“It’s about love, loss, and gain and whether it’s professional or with family or whatever, it’s just honest," she said. "I had no choice but to be honest and authentic with this record: it’s about friendship and marriage.”

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Glad to have you back, Ms. Kelly. Listen to the eponymous record up top.

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