What Your Exes Say and What That Says About You
Unless you married your high school sweetheart (and you’re still with him), you have an ex. And you know that there are few more awkward circumstances when someone asks you about him, especially when you still have feelings and/or the break-up is recent. But no matter how you feel about your ex, there’s a way to handle the situation with grace and dignity—or not.
Take for instance the rantings of Kanye West, a rapper well-known for baring his uncensored emotions publicly and for dissing his best known ex, Amber Rose. During a Watch the Throne concert in Philadelphia last week, Kanye didn’t make it through his performance of “Runaway” last week without bringing up their defunct relationship—again— but this time he surprisingly took the high road. "To the city of Philly, I want to thank y'all for making the incredible person that this song was made for," he said, alluding to Rose, a Philly native.
After taking so much heat from 'Ye since their break-up (for instance, at the Essence Music Festival in July, Kanye, backed by a track of BBD’s “Poison”, told the crowd, "Never trust a big butt and a smile. Why ain't I listen?”), Amber skipped the opportunity to diss Kanye. “He called me an incredible person, and I take that as an apology,” she said in response. ” I want him to find a girl and for him to treat her better than he treated me.”
Rihanna’s ex from Barbados, Negus Sealy followed suit when he was interviewed by the UK’s Daily Mail about his relationship with the pop star. (If you just wondered, “Who?!” He’s the guy that made headlines with Rih when she was seen scantily clad and backing it up on him during the annual Kadooment Day festival in Barbados earlier this year.) "She’s absolutely amazing and gorgeous and she has a very, very strong persona,” Sealy said. “'I am so lucky to have spent so much time with her and will always consider her to be a closer personal friend.”
He added (and cleared any speculation the two were an item), “Quite frankly, I’m pretty proud just to be friends with her and I will always be here for her in Barbados.”
If only Vivica Fox’s ex, Omar “Slim” White had received the memo everyone else got that you don’t need to put all your business in the streets. Over the weekend, news broke that the on-again, off-again couple had ended their 10-month engagement. Though White says he and Fox are on good terms, he didn’t miss the opportunity to kick a few rocks her way. “I hate negativity and drama. I hate arguing, and I value communication no matter what the problem may be," he told TooFab. "So as in any relationship, tension can build up and I finally had to walk away."
Fox took a more mature route to addressing the break-up, skipping the details when she responded to inquiries on Twitter. “I’m fine!” she tweeted Thursday. “At work and being very productive! God has got me! As always.”
Most of us will never get a national forum to address our past relationships, but when friends and family come prying from details, taking the high road is always the best options. What happened between you and your ex is business that should remain between the two of you. If it’s over, make peace with it and move on. And if you haven’t? Keep your mouth shut anyway. What so many of us forget is spilling our tea about our relationships says as much about us (i.e., we’re bitter and disloyal) as it does about the people we throw under the bus.
Demetria L. Lucas is a life coach and author of “A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life” (Atria) in stores now. Follow her on Twitter @abelleinbk