It’s Still Caking. Even If You Got It

By now you’ve probably exchanged all the Christmas gifts you’re going to this season, and hopefully things didn’t come up short on your end. Sure it’s the thought that counts when it comes to gifting, and of course you give out of generosity and not to get something in return, but if you’ve shelled out serious cash for a man you think is in your life, only to receive nothing more than a “thank you” in return, that’s not a good sign. Nothing’s wrong with being a sugar mama by choice, but when you don’t know that’s the role you’re playing, the end of the year might be a good time to reevaluate some things—namely that relationship.

The Victorian household could’ve doubled as an intervention set Christmas day when a distant relative strolled in the house with a nice pair of Beats by Dre and a new girl on his arm. I didn’t need to ask where the headphones came from but I guess the rest of the family didn’t catch on quite as quickly. They asked where he got such an expensive gift—considering he doesn’t work and is still in school—and he pointed to the generous young lady by his side. She seemed to sense that the confused looks on everyone’s faces warranted an explanation and she quickly jumped in to say she asked him what he wanted as a gift, and although she didn’t plan on playing Santa Claus and fulfilling his wish, three stores and $399 later, the pricey present still ended up on her boyfriend of two month’s ears.

While I was shocked at the young girl’s admission of shelling out so much money, a couple of things struck me even more than the four hundred dollar price tag. The first was the fact that somehow we never managed to hear of him getting anything for her, which made the new couple’s holiday seem like more of a one-way channel than a two-way exchange. Second, was the idea that he had the audacity to ask for such an expensive gift so soon. While he admitted he didn’t expect her to get the “Beats” for him, his asking reeks of a man who is testing just how much he can get away with. He knew he pushed the envelope by stretching her wallet, and the fact that she obliged pretty much without hesitation is setting her up for a long line of boundary crossing.

As women, we’re quick to want to express our love for a new someone in a number of ways and mimic behaviors of couples with more longevity early on as a sign that our own relationship is progressing, but doling out too much of anything too soon, especially money and presents, just isn’t a good look. It can be very easy for women to get caught up in “just because” gifts and for a man to get used to being showered with extravagance for every occasion, but if upgrading wasn’t your original aim you could end up questioning whether he likes you for you or because of what you can do for him. You may call it treating, he’s going to call it tricking.

The question of whether a couple is going to exchanging gifts at Christmas is always odd when two people first start dating, but if you went all out for someone you considered special and got nothing more in return than an I owe you this year, you can either turn on Beyonce’s “Suga Mama” and rock out in yule tide joy; or resolve to put cash and common sense before caking in 2012.

From the Web

More on Vibe

SZA Calls For Peace While Receiving 'Rule Breaker' Award At Billboard Women In Music

SZA called for peace and understanding at Billboard's Women In Music event Thursday (Dec. 6).

During her speech for the Rule Breaker award, singer-songwriter recalled today's climate, asking her peers and those watching at home for a little bit of peace.

"I'm sorry for the state of the world honestly, for everybody in this room and I pray that all of us just get through it a little bit easier and just try not to lash out at each other," she said.

The recurring theme of unity among women was also heard on the carpet from artists like Tierra Whack. In addition to her message of love, the "Broken Clocks" singer also thanked her TDE family for rocking with her creative process.

"I'm just so thankful for everybody having patience with me, " she said. Shouting out the key members of her family in attendance, the TDE affiliate gave praise to her mother, father, and grandma. In this brief speech centered around the artist's growth Solána Imani Rowe, known more commonly as her stage name, Rowe everyone for their trust in her.

"I'm grateful for everybody taking the time to have the patience to watch someone grow, it is painful and sometimes exciting but mostly boring. And I am thankful for Top (Top Dawg Entertainment's Anthony Tiffith) for not dropping me from that label. For Peter, who I change my ideas every day and he be like okay I like this," she continued.

Thanking the likes of musical powerhouses like Alicia Keys and Whack, "The Weekend" singer offered her appreciation and condolences to Ariana Grande.

Watch SZA accept the Rule Breaker award above.

READ MORE: Anderson .Paak, Tierra Whack And More Praise Female Artists At 2018 Billboard Women In Music

Continue Reading

Beyoncé, Rihanna, And J. Lo Make Forbes’ Highest-Paid Women In Music List

As November comes to a close, many publications will be crafting their year-end lists for all things pop culture. Forbes released a ranking of the world's highest-paid women in music on Monday (Nov. 19), with Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, and Rihanna holding it down for women of color.

Beyoncé comes in at No. 3 on the list with an earning of $60 million as she made most of her money through her historical Coachella performance, the joint album with husband JAY-Z, Everything is Love, and the Carters' On The Run II Tour in support of its release.

Jennifer Lopez made No. 6 for earnings tallying of over $47 million thanks to her lucrative Las Vegas residency, endorsements, and shows including World of Dance where she serves as a judge.

Rihanna follows behind the "Love Don't Cost A Thing" diva at No. 7 with earnings of over $37.5 million. Although she hasn't toured since 2016—thanks to her cosmetics and lingerie lines, Fenty Beauty and Savage Lingerie—the Bajan pop star has been keeping herself busy.

Forbes' annual list (which factors in pretax earnings from June 1, 2017, through June 1, 2018) has placed Katy Perry at the top with over $83 million in profits due to her gig as an American Idol judge and her 80-date Witness: The Tour that brought in an estimated $1 million per night.

Scroll down to see Forbes' full list below.

Katy Perry ($83 million) Taylor Swift ($80 million) Beyoncé ($60 million) P!nk ($52 million) Lady Gaga ($50 million) Jennifer Lopez ($47 million) Rihanna ($37.5 million) Helene Fischer ($32 million) Celine Dion ($31 million) Britney Spears ($30 million)


READ MORE: Nas Makes Forbes’ List Of ‘Hip-Hop Cash Kings’ For The First Time

Continue Reading

Kelly Rowland Hops In Her Bag With New Single "Kelly"

Kelly Rowland has it all and isn't afraid to brag about it on her new single, "Kelly."

Released Thursday (Nov. 22), the singer goes the clubby, confident route while rightfully dropping her attributes like her relationship with God, smoldering looks (a.k.a the drip) among other things. With "Kelly" being the first single since her 2013's Talk a Good Game, the singer comes out swinging, reminding everyone of her power in the game.

The mother of one has promised that her new tunes will be edgier and most honest than her past work that included vulnerable tracks like "Dirty Laundry" and massive hits like "Motivation" and "Commander." Speaking with Vogue over the summer, Ms. Kelly disclosed a few details behind the album.

“It’s about love, loss, and gain and whether it’s professional or with family or whatever, it’s just honest," she said. "I had no choice but to be honest and authentic with this record: it’s about friendship and marriage.”

She also explained a drop in confidence caused her hiatus. “I was thinking about pulling back from recording, but I couldn’t help myself: I still wanted to record. I still felt like I was missing something. The third year just came and left so fast. The fourth year I said: ‘I have to get to work’ and now I’m ready to release some music! I felt like I wasted so much time, and it was my husband who actually called me out on it. He said: ‘Babe, as great as those records were, I think you were nervous, you got gun-shy’, and when he said that it was like boom, a gong went off.”

Glad to have you back, Ms. Kelly. Listen to the eponymous record up top.

READ MORE: Kelly Rowland Debuts Smoke x Mirrors Eyewear Collection At Barneys New York

Continue Reading

Top Stories